Search For Comfort
by LeytonLoVe123
Summary: What if Peyton had managed to convince Jake she really was in love with him when he confronted her about saying Lucas's name in her sleep? Will Jake be able to help her when they lose their baby, or will she turn to Lucas? LEYTON eventually &Naley.
1. Prologue

Standing in the doorway, Jake had his back to her. Peyton honestly didn't know what she'd done wrong. "Jake, just tell me what I did. Whatever it is, I'm sorry. Just tell me what I did," she pleaded. She had woken up and he was acting so weird, and she needed to know what went wrong so she could fix it.

Jake turned to look at her, hearing the desperation in her voice. "Did you know you talk in your sleep?" he asked, trying to sound casual, even though his heart was breaking. Her brows drew together in confusion. She didn't know what that had to do with anything. "Tonight you were talking in your sleep," he added slowly.

Her brow slowly smoothed out, but she still had confusion written all over her face. She was beginning to feel relief though, because she couldn't have said anything that bad. "Well, what did I say? It can't be that bad. Did I say I wanted to kill you or something?" she asked, chuckling slightly, despite the nervousness she was still feeling.

Jake didn't laugh. He was still standing stoically in the doorway. He could feel his heart breaking at her caulousness. He wished he could just forget about it, but he couldn't. He needed to get this out in the open, maybe to give her a chance to explain. He sighed. "You said, 'I love you...'" he paused for a moment.

Now relief was coursing through her body. "Well, what's wrong with that? I do love you, Jake. I thought that was a good thing," she laughed, relaxing in the bed again. She had thought she had said something really bad. She didn't understand what the big deal was. Wasn't that why they were getting married? She loved him. She thought he already knew that.

Of course, Jake wasn't finished speaking. "'... Lucas,'" the smile slid off her face as he finished. "You said, 'I love you, Lucas,'" he repeated for good measure. Her face dropped, and her shoulders dropped, and just like that, she was crying. He took a step closer. As much as it hurt him that she said that, it hurt him even more to see her crying.

Trying to wipe her tears, Peyton looked up at him. "Jake, don't do this. I love you. You want to know what I was dreaming about, why I said that? I was dreaming about my friendship with Lucas, how it used to be. I love him, yeah. We could have had something great, if he hadn't been with my best friend first. I'm in love with you, please. I want to marry YOU," she cried, hating that she was at this point. The thought of losing him scared her, though, and if she had to beg, she would.

Jake couldn't handle seeing her break down like she was. He ventured even closer, sitting on the bed, wiping her tears before giving up because they weren't stopping. He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close, allowing her to cry into his chest. He whispered comforting words to her, because the last thing he wanted was for her to be in pain. He wanted the best for her.

Regaining some control over her tears, Peyton pulled back slightly, not allowing him to let go of her, just far enough away so that she could look up at him. "My father told me to follow my heart, Jake, and I did. I followed it to you. I meant it when I told you that. Please, don't push me away. I love you. I choose you. I don't want to be with anyone else," she pleaded sincerely.

Despite the instincts in his head, his heart was telling him to believe her. He realy wanted to. He didn't want to force her to go back to Tree Hill, because a part of him was afraid she wouldn't come back. Besides, seeing her break down like that had made him a litte more confident that her heart was in this. "We're really doing this, aren't we?" he asked, amazement in his voice.

Peyton's brow kinked in confusion again. She didn't know what he was talking about. "We're getting married," he clarified, and she felt her heart soar again. There was a bit of hesitation, because she knew that she had lied about the dream. She had been longing for old times with Lucas, but her dream hadn't been about his friendship. She knew that his heart belonged with Brooke, though, so hers would have to be with Jake.

With tear trails still on her cheeks, and some tears still leaking out of her eyes, she pulled Jake into a kiss. When he pulled away, he wiped at her tears, raising an eyebrow at her questioningly. "They're happy tears, Jake," she said, which was mostly true. A big part of her was happy right now. Most of her heart, and her head. There was just that small part of her heart that was thinking about Lucas, but she figured that would always be there. That was what she had decided long ago.

A/N: This is just an idea I came up with. Next chapter will be five years later. I promise, it will eventually be Leyton, because I can't do a story with no Leyton. At least, I think I can't. Either way, I know this one is Leyton. What do you think? Should I continue?

Disclaimer: I don't own anything involving One Tree Hill or the CW.


	2. Ch1: Accidents Happen

5 Years Later

The little brunette jumped up and down on the large bed, which was empty, except for the figure covered by the blanket. "Mommy, Mommy, Momma, it's time to wake up!" the six-year-old squealed, causing the blonde to pull the blanket up over her head. This didn't deter the little girl, though, who flopped down on her butt, getting off the bed for a brief moment so she could pull the blanket off the bed completely before getting back on the bed and jumping once more.

This caused the blonde to groan and, without opening her eyes, her arms shot out, grabbing the little girl by the waist and pulling her down next to her, wrapping her arms around the small body tightly, not letting the squirming girl get away. Then, without warning, she began tickling the little girl, causing her to squeal with laughter as she futily tried to squirm away. The blonde sat up, shifting so that she was on her knees on the bed, kneeling over the little girl, tickling her senseless.

Neither of them noticed the figure that sauntered up to lean in the doorway. "Jen, I told you not to wake her up," he scolded his daughter from the doorway, startling both of them. The blonde and the young brunette both stopped in their movements to look for the source of the voice. Jake was leaning against the doorjamb, in a pair of worn pajama pants and a tee-shirt, staring at his two favorite women with a smile on his face. He had been admiring the way Peyton's long curls cascaded toward the bed, and the happy smile on her face as she bonded with his daughter.

Oh, and he might have been admiring her rear in his boxers as she inadvertantly stuck it in the air as well. With a knowing smirk, Peyton sat her butt down on the bed, knowing exactly what her husband had been looking at. She refrained from saying anything, only because of the little ears in the room, which happened to be in the form of the little girl she considered her own, Jenny. The six-year-old was now jumping on the bed again, now that she was no longer being tickled.

As Peyton pulled her hair back, standing and walking over to their dresser, picking up an elastic for her hair and wrapping it around the pony tail, missing, of course, one curl, which fell in front of her eyes. She reached up and tried to tuck it behind her ear, but a second later it was in her eyes again. With a roll of her eyes and a sigh, she turned to her family. "Now, why exactly are we up this early in the morning, on the oh-so-sweet first day of summer, when I was supposed to sleep on my first morning of freedom?" she asked teasingly, briefly eying her husband before turning her gaze on the little girl.

Taking a step closer, Peyton knew what was going to happen when Jenny started jumping closer to the edge of the bed. She opened her arms obediently as the girl jumped into her arms. "Daddy made breakfast, Momma, and I wanted to say good morning to my little brother or sister," she said innocently, melting the blonde's heart with her wide-eyed gaze, the same gaze that had been winning her over for years. She set the little girl down, and the six-year-old instantly started talking to Peyton's slightly protruding stomach.

Running a hand through his hair, Jake closed his mouth. He had opened it to scold his daughter for jumping on her pregnant mother like she had, but at her complete innocence, he couldn't bring himself to admonish her. Instead, he shared a smile with his wife of almost five years. "I told her not to wake you. I mean, it is the day after your graduation, after all. This little rugrat would hear nothing of it, though. She insisted Mommy and baby would want to eat the celebratory breakfast I made you before it got cold," he explained, ruffling his daughter's hair as he stepped closer to his wife.

The little girl between them harrumphed and looked up at her father, moving her head out from under his hand. She put her ear up to Peyton's belly, pretending to be listening intently, then she looked up at her parents with her wide brown eyes. "My little sibling would like to tell you that he or she would rather have the food when it was still warm, and microwaved food is just not the same as a freshly-cooked breakfast," she said with a confident nod of her head.

Unable to control her giggles at the brunette's smart comment, Peyton brought a hand up to her mouth to at least stifle them. She knelt down to Jenny's level before Jake could pick his jaw up off the floor. "Alright, Bug, you best get to the kitchen. Daddy, Baby and I will be there in a minute," she said, patting Jenny's butt as the little girl fled the room. She straightened, placing her hand on her belly protectively as she did. "I'll never understand where she gets her energy in the morning," she said fondly as she watched the girl.

Finally getting over his shock, Jake kept his gaze on his wife. He grabbed her by the waist and pulled her close to him before she had a chance to realize what he was doing. She looked so gorgeous pregnant, he couldn't help but kiss her. "I know she doesn't get her energy from you, but we both know exactly where she gets that smart mouth from," he said when they broke away, Peyton's arms now around his neck. He was teasing his wife, but he did know it was true.

Narrowing her eyes at the brunette, Peyton pulled away. She stuck her tongue out at him. "Just for that, you don't get to come with me to my appointment today," she said, managing to keep her voice sufficiently stern as she pushed past him, headed for the kitchen. The smells were finally reaching their bedroom, and the baby was definately hungry, she realized. He grabbed her wrist and pulled her into another kiss before she could make it two feet.

As Peyton let herself get lost in the kiss, she forgot that he had kind of just insulted her. She forgot that she was hungry, and that she had just been woken up way earlier than she had wanted. She forgot that she had just graduated from art school. She allowed herself to forget everything. Until her stomach growled. They both heard it, and they laughed against each others lips as they stood there, wrapped in each others arms. "I'm going to that appointment," Jake said huskily against her lips before letting her go.

Rolling her bright green eyes, Peyton just shook her head, walking out of the room and stopping in the bathroom to pee and brush her teeth. When she made it to the kitchen, Jake and Jenny were each digging into their food, and there was a plate of food for Peyton sitting in front of the chair next to Jake. She sat down, suddenly ravenous, and dug into her food with vigor. She noticed the amused look her husband was giving her. "What?" she said, her mouth full with the bite of egg she'd just shoved in.

Jake laughed and reached out, wiping ketchup from the corner of her mouth as she swallowed the egg. She raised an eyebrow at him, waiting for an explanation for the laughter. "I love you, you know that," he told her, holding her gaze as Jenny continued to eat, oblivious to the moment going on between her parents. After a moment Peyton shrugged and continued eating. "I just don't understand where you put all that food," he added, watching her clean her plate.

Once her plate was clean, Peyton decided to answer him. "I'm eating for two, Mister, and what's your excuse?" she asked, pointing to his plate, which had been just as full as hers. She didn't even give him a chance to defend himself, though, before she continued. "You just really don't want to find out the sex of our baby, do you? If you keep this up, you're not ever going to find out," she threatened, glaring at him as she stood, taking Jenny's plate as the girl finished, but purposefully leaving Jake's plate behind.

Standing in front of the sink, Peyton washed the dishes, ignoring Jake as he came up behind her. She could hear the distinct sounds of the TV in the family room, and knew that Jake had sent Jenny to watch it. "If you think sending our daughter into the other room will get you out of trouble, you're wrong," she said. She wasn't really mad at him. It was just her overactive hormones. They both knew that, but Jake was going to make it up to her anyway.

Stepping up behind her, he wrapped his arms around her waist, kissing her neck. "I love you, wifey, and I really really want to find out what we're having. So, can you forgive the fact that I can be an insensitive jackass, so we can go to your doctor's appointment?" he asked, his voice low as his lips were just centimeters away from her earlobe. She could feel his breath on the back of her neck, and, just like that, he was forgiven, just like he had intended, no doubt.

Turning in his arms, because she was finished with the dishes, she smiled up at him. "I love you, too," she said simply, reaching up to place a chaste kiss on his lips before pulling out of his grip, heading upstairs. He called her name, and she turned back toward him in the doorway. "What? I've got to take a shower to get ready for my appointment. In my opinion, you should too, because, no offense Mr. Jagielski, you kind of stink," she teased, keeping a straight face.

Cocking an eyebrow at her, Jake took a step closer. "Oh, Mrs Jagielski, do you think so?" he asked and she nodded. "Well, in that case, I guess you'll have to shower with me, to make sure I get clean, you know," he said, completely serious. Peyton couldn't take it, and she burst into giggles as she turned, running upstairs with him hot on her heels.

~*~

There was a knock on the door, just as Peyton finished getting Jenny ready, after getting ready herself. "Guess your Mom's here, Jen," she said, kneeling down by the girl, much like she always did before Nikki took Jenny for whatever reason, whether it was for a week, or just an hour. "Hey, you know you'll always be my best girl, and, after my appointment today, you'll know whether you get a brother or sister," she said with a smile, which was returned. "I love you, kid" she said, as she heard Jake greet the woman they had managed to become friends with.

Smiling, Jenny wrapped her arms around Peyton's neck, squeezing her tight. "I love you, too, Momma, and I hope I get a little sister. Boys are icky," she said, and Peyton laughed, just as Jake called for Jenny. The little girl let go and Peyton stood, grabbing her backpack of stuff so she could stay the weekend with her birth mother. "You promise to call me as soon as you get home from the appointment, right?" she asked as Peyton led her to the front door.

Nodding in affirmation, Peyton greeted Nikki as Jake said goodbye to his daughter. Then she took her spot, nestled beneath Jake's arm, as they stood in the doorway, watching until Nikki drove away. When the car was out of sight, they retreated back into the living room, to just sit on the couch in each other's company until they had to go to the appointment. Jake got out his guitar, and Peyton pulled out her sketchbook, but neither of them could really concentrate, because both of them were too excited for their appointment.

Even though the drive would take them ten minutes, tops, they ended up leaving half an hour before their appointment time. As they sat in the waiting room, Jake's leg bounced up and down and Peyton chewed on her lip as she checked her e-mail on her phone just for something to do. When the nurse called her name, they both jumped out of their seats. Well, Peyton as fast as a five-month-pregnant woman can jump up. Jake put his hand on the small of her back as they headed for the examination room.

After the initial questions, and examinations, Dr. Garza got out the ultrasound machine. Jake squeezed Peyton's hand in excitement as her shirt was lifted and the cold gel was squirted on her stomach. As the doctor used a transducer to locate the baby, she noticed the look on both parent's faces. It was a look she had seen on many expectant parent's faces. It was a combination of excitement and apprehension. "Ah," she said as she got the perfect view of the baby, and it's parts. "Well, would you like to know the sex of your baby?" she asked, though she knew the answer.

She laughed when both parent's exclaimed an affirmation. "Well, look at the screen," they did as she instructed, "and say hello to your little girl," she finished, and the young married couple beamed with delight. Dr. Garza took a few pictures with the ultrasound and printed a couple out for the parents, turning off the machine and handing Peyton a towel to wipe off her stomach. "I guess I'll see you next month. Everything looks perfect with your little girl," she said.

The couple beamed at each other before Jake helped Peyton off the table and out of the room, after they thanked the doctor profusely. They may have already had a daughter, but Jake couldn't wait to see the little girl that-he hoped-would look just like Peyton. Peyton was just excited her baby was healthy. Okay, and if she admitted it, she was ecstatic to be having a girl. She hoped that the baby was the perfect mix of them both, and she knew that Jenny would be pleased that she was getting a little sister.

After making an appointment for the next month, the couple walked to the car. Peyton felt like she was floating on air. She couldn't believe she was this happy. She planned on opening her own gallery in Savannah, and maybe even teaching art at the local high school. Jake still had his music-though he still only played at bars, despite the fact that she knew he could get produced-and he coached the basketball team at the high school. They already had Jenny, and now they would have the new little girl. She couldn't wait to tell her father. And Jenny, and even Nikki.

Surprisingly, Nikki and Peyton got along really well now that Nikki wasn't trying to steal Jenny away. They had worked out a nice custody agreement, and then the two women couldn't see why they couldn't be friends, seeing as they didn't really know any other women their age in the whole town. Peyton knew that Brooke and Lucas were engaged, and had been for about a year, but not because she had been called by either of them. She still kept up with Nathan, and sometimes Haley, through the occassional phone call, and that was how she knew, even though she hadn't seen them in years.

Actually, if she could remember right, the last time she'd seen them in Tree Hill was when she'd shown up at their graduation. It had been so awkward for her, though, becuase she couldn't stop thinking about what Jake had said the night they'd gotten engaged. Due to that, she'd stayed away from Lucas, and, since Brooke was practically attatched to Lucas, she didn't really hang out with Brooke that day either. After that, the e-mails with Brooke had stopped, and there had been none with Lucas to begin with. She'd seen Nathan the year after that, when he'd unexpectedly visited her after he won his second championship game.

For about a year after that they'd exchanged weekly e-mails and monthly phone calls, during which she would talk to Haley, too, but those had tapered off to monthly e-mails, and then those had tapered off, too, and she realized she'd only e-mailed him a handful of times in the last year. She still called him when something big happened, but the phone calls had tapered from monthly to a couple times the year before, and then this year she'd only talked to them once. They always inadvertantly avoided the topic of Lucas and Brooke, not becuase Peyton couldn't handle it.

It was just a kind of taboo subject between them. The only time they'd mentioned those names was when she had learned that they were engaged, and she knew she'd hear about the wedding, if it were to happen. They just focused on Nathan and Haley, and, of course, on James Lucas Scott. The little boy she'd yet to meet, and she hated herself for that. She wanted to take a trip to Tree Hill to meet the little boy, and even to meet Lily, but she just hadn't yet. Yes, she knew about Lily. They talked about Karen all the time, and Peyton definately kept in contact with the woman she thought of as her third mom.

As Peyton drove her Comet home, she had one hand in Jake's and the other elbow resting on the car door as she let her hand rest on the wheel. About two minutes into the ride, she really wanted to call Jenny, so she plucked her phone out of her purse, dialing the number and setting the phone in her lap as it rang. She was coming to a four-way intersection, and stopped at the red light. When Jenny answered, she shouted at the phone. "You have a baby sister!" she shouted, as the light changed and she began to make the turn.

Shouting, Jake reached out to grab the steering wheel, but it was too late. The driver who had ran his now-red light crashed into the passenger side, and he was going so fast that Peyton's Comet nearly wrapped around the telephone pole on the corner on the driver's side.

A/N: Thanks for the reviews for the prologue. Your reviews really do inspire me to write. Someone mentioned putting in Lucas's views on things back when Peyton left. Well, he just missed her like a friend, because he was still hiding from his feelings for her by staying with Brooke. Brooke never broke up with him the second time, because Peyton never told Brooke that she was in love with him. Peyton went to the second Naley wedding, but she was already engaged to Jake, and denying her feelings for Lucas. Everything after that is what's different. Brooke and Lucas just kind of got caught up with their own lives, and didn't keep in contact with Peyton. Tell me what you think, and let me know if there are any questions you have by pressing that green button. You know you want to!

Disclaimer: I don't own anything.


	3. Ch2: Life After Loss

Blinking her eyes open slowly, Peyton closed them again before she raised her hand to rub her eyes, but was hindered. There was a beeping in the room that really annoyed her. At first, she assumend that it was just her alarm clock. She reached out to shut it off, but felt that pain in her arm again when she tried to move it. She could also hear her name being called, by a voice that sounded eerily like Nathan's. Why would she be dreaming that Nathan was calling her name? Unless it was real. But then, why would Nathan be here? And what was that incessant beeping?

To get to the bottom of everything, she opened her eyes and was met with the sight of Nathan's. She saw his face, hovering above her, and then a stark white ceiling above that. Wait a second, the ceiling of her bedroom was a deep blue. Actually, none of the ceilings in any of the rooms of her house were just plain white. So where the heck was she? And why didn't she remember going there with Nathan. Nathan's voice still sounded muffled, but that beeping wouldn't go away. She looked around, ready to take the alarm clock and throw it across the room, when she noticed all the monitors and realized the beeping was following her heartbeat. It all came back to her. She also realized she should be hearing another beeping.

Trying to sit up, but being unable to, she began to panic. She focused on Nathan as he placed her hands on her shoulders, trying to get her to calm down. "Where's my baby, Nathan? What happened to my baby?" she asked. Noticing the way he stiffened and stammered, trying to find the right answer to her question, Peyton knew what happened. "She's gone," she whispered, becuase she couldn't bring herself to say the words any louder, and she began to sob. She saw the way his face softened sympathetically, but she didn't want his pity. "Where's Jake?" she asked, trying and failing to stop her tears.

Thankfully, Nathan was able to understand her through her sobs, which was causing her breathing to get a little off-kilter. She felt like she couldn't catch her breath, but having Nathan there helped, somewhat. She wanted her husband, though. This was a question Nathan was better suited to answer. "Easy there, Sawyer, calm down. Your husband is awake, and in a room down the hall. The doctors wouldn't let him get out of bed to come see you, but he's going to be pleased your awake. Everyone will," he said, placing a hand on her shoulder, becuase she was still trying to sit up.

Before he could leave the room to get the doctor, Peyton reached out and grabbed his hand. "Wait," she said, but her voice was scratchy and her throat was dry. She hadn't noticed it moments ago, because so many things mattered more than that, but she noticed now, and she wanted to do anything to stall, just for a moment. Nathan couldn't stand the sight of Peyton lying in the hospital bed, looking so helpless, but someone had to sit with her, and his wife had fallen asleep in the hospital chair in the living room. He hadn't allowed Brooke or Lucas in there, because they didn't deserve to talk to Peyton. If Peyton wanted to talk to them, that was fine, but he wasn't going to allow it unless Peyton agreed.

Looking around, he noticed a pitcher of water and some cups on the nightstand next to her bed. He picked it up, grabbed a cup and poured some water into it. Then he helped her sit up a little bit, and let her drink some water out of it. When she was laying back on the pillows, she spoke again. Taking as deep a breath as her sore body would allow her, she met his eyes, needing a truthful answer to her question. "Who is everyone?" she asked, both of them knowing the real question. What she really wanted to know is, 'Are Lucas and Brooke a part of that everyone?'

Nathan blew out a sigh and ran his hand through his hair. He didn't want to put any stress on her, which he knew the answer to her question would do. He couldn't lie to her though, and he couldn't really tell her no. "Everyone is Haley, Jamie, Karen Andy, Lily, Nikki, Jenny," he paused, and she waited patiently, already knowing the rest, "Brooke and Lucas," he finished, and her heart fluttered a little at the name, even though she knew it shouldn't. He watched as she closed her eyes, and he wished he could know what she was thinking, but that had always been the other Scott brother. Nathan himself had never been as good at reading her.

When she opened her eyes, she nodded slowly, as if accepting the information. He turned to go get the doctor. "Nathan," she called, and he turned back at the door. "Don't let them in," she said, because she knew that even though he couldn't read her, he would know exactly what she was talking about. He nodded and left the room without another word. She settled into the pillows just a little bit easier, knowing Lucas and Brooke wouldn't be coming into her room. She wasn't ready to face them yet, not after four years of nothing. She was glad to know that everyone else had come, though.

The doctor came in the room a few moments later, and explained that, because she was driving, the impact of her stomach hitting the steering wheel, and not to mention crashing into the telephone pole, killed the baby on impact. There was nothing the doctors could to do save it. They were barely able to save her. She had mutliple scratches and bruises, a rather large gash on her forehead, a broken leg and some broken ribs. Jake had made it through with a mild concussion, and a broken arm, not to mention some serious scratches and bruises as well. He wasn't allowed out of bed yet because of the concussion. He had only woken up a little while before Peyton.

The first thing Peyton wanted to know was when she could get out of the hospital. She hated them, and had ever since her mom had died. The doctor told her that she had to stay a couple of nights for observation, then they would give her something so she would pass the dead baby out of her system, and then they would hold her for a few more days, just to be sure she was okay. That would probably mean about a week in the hospital. Jake would only need to stay overnight, which bothered Peyton to no end, but at least she would be able to see him. She requested that they be put in the same room, since they were going to move her, and the doctor agreed to do at least that much.

The doctors had to examine her first, so by the time she was placed in the room, Jake was already there. Neither of them could get out of their beds, but the look they shared said everything. He knew, and she knew, and they were both nursing broken hearts. Jake requested to see Jenny, because she was the brightest light in his life right now. To be honest, she was Peyton's brightest light, too. She knew Jake was hurting, just like she was, but she knew her pain was worse. It's been said that a woman becomes a mother when she finds out she's pregnant, and a man becomes a father when he first holds his child. Well, Jake hadn't gotten to hold their daughter yet. He never would.

At that thought, she just wanted to break down, and sob the way her body longed to, but Jenny entered the room then, and she couldn't. Somehow, she wasn't quite sure how, she made it though Nikki and Jenny's visit, and then Nathan, Haley and Jamie, and then Karen and Lily popped in. She still refused to see Lucas, and she heard the fuss he made in the hall, but she wasn't ready to see him, or Brooke, yet, so she couldn't. Her dad was out to sea, but would be in as soon as he could, and her brother was overseas, too. She wished she still had a sister in Brooke, but it had been too long, and she wasn't ready to have any heartfelt conversations, or shouting matches, just yet.

~*~*~

The day after they had taken the baby out of Peyton, she was in the hospital room, Jake at her side, like he'd been since he was released from the hospital, when she suddenly turned her head away from the window to look at him. "I want to have her funeral in Tree Hill," she said, not as if she had just thought of this, but as if she'd been mulling it over since she'd learned of her daughters death, and she was determined to have it that way. "It's my home, and it was yours, too, and it's where she should be laid to rest," she said decisively, and he knew there was no changing her mind.

That was the only thing that Peyton said to him all day. It was the most she'd said to him in days, probably since the accident. She was pulling away from him. He could tell, but he didn't know how to stop it. He wished things could go back to the way they used to be, but he knew they couldn't. He wanted his little baby girl back. He wanted his wife back, and he wanted her to be not so distant. He couldn't voice any of these wants, though, because he knew they were selfish. So he just nodded his head, agreeing with her. "What do you think her name should be?" he asked.

There was a long moment of silence. They had debated names, long before they had found out the sex, and they had come up with a perfect name for both sexes. The name they'd chosen for a girl now just didn't seem right, however. They'd chosen a first and middle name that had nothing to do with anyone they knew. At the time, they'd wanted the child to have his or her own identity, but now she had seen the tiny body of her child and the name just didn't sound right. She needed a strong name, a name of someone she knew and a name that could define the little girl she'd never get to be. "Annabeth Angel Jagielski," she said. Annabeth, after her two mothers, Anna and Elizabeth, and Angel because that was what their daughter was now.

If that was her decision, he would let her make it, just like she'd made the decision about where to bury her. He'd plan the rest of it, but if she wanted to talk to him, and put in her input, he definately wouldn't stop her. He hated that she was pulling away from him, but he knew that this was what she did in tragedy. She'd come to him in her own time. The conversation ended when they heard a sharp yell from the hall. "I am Brooke Davis, damnit, do you understand that? My best friend is in there and you're trying to keep me out. I don't think so." The exclamation was followed by the click of heels in the hall outside, and then the door opening, and Brooke, followed by a slightly shocked Lucas, entering the room.

The other bed in Peyton's room was still unoccupied, and Brooke walked right past it, up to the foot of Peyton's bed. The blonde could only stare at her, and Lucas, in disbelief. She tried not to look directly at Lucas, though, because she was still attached to machines, which would notice her spike in heart rate. So she ignored him the best she could. How could the nurses let them by? How could Nathan let them in? She had specifically asked for them not to be allowed in the room. She wasn't strong enough to start a fight, though, so she didn't say a word, even when Brooke walked forward and hugged her.

It did feel good to get a hug from her old best friend, but how could Brooke even yell at the nurse that they were still best friends? They hadn't talked in nearly four years, and they hadn't really talked much the year before that either. She knew that Brooke was successful, and, now, planning a wedding, if that wedding was ever going to happen, but she knew that only because of Nathan and Haley. If Brooke even knew that Peyton had been pregnant, she had only learned it from the same source. Peyton just didn't get how that translated to still being best friends, though. She didn't have the strength to say any of that. Since the accident, she'd been pretty silent, except when talking to Jenny, or Jamie, or Lily.

When Brooke finally let Peyton go, and straightened, she looked Peyton directly in the eye. "I'm so sorry, P," she said. Then, as if that erased four years of hurt, she pulled up a chair, sat down, and began telling stories about her life. Peyton didn't say a word, and neither did Lucas. He just stayed still, standing behind Brooke's chair, while Peyton looked anywhere but him. The conversation was pretty much between Jake and Brooke, and they both tried to make up for the silence of their significant others. They did try to involve the blondes in their conversation, but anytime they did, they would get some kind of noise of affirmation, if they got any sound at all.

A little while later, Nathan walked in on the following scene: Jake and Brooke were sitting on opposite sides of Peyton's bed, laughing over some joke, or humorous thing that one of them had said. Lucas was standning behind Brooke, not even the hint of a smile on his face as he stared at Peyton, while Peyton stared firmly out the window, though her eyes were glazed over, and it was clear that she was miles away, mentally, and even emotionally. Jake had let go of Peyton's hand sometime, and both of her arms hung limply at her sides. She glanced over at the sound of the door opening, but her facial expression didn't change at all.

As he surveyed the scene, it seemed off. Well, of course it was. He knew the first reunion of the blonde and her best friend shouldn't have been in the hospital room, after she'd just been in a car accident, and lost her baby. There shouldn't need to be a reunion at all. The two best friends shouldn't have stopped talking in the first place. To this day, he wasn't sure why they did. He didn't even know if they knew why they did. When his appearance finally got the attention of the two laughing brunettes, Nathan spoke. "Um, Haley and Jamie wanted to come in, too, but the doctor says only four people at a time," he said.

With a nod, Brooke stood, leaning over to place a kiss on Peyton's pale forehead. "I'll be back, P. Sawyer. Love you, baby girl, and you better get better, you hear me," she said, straightening without getting a response. "I'm going to go get some lunch, come on, Luke," she said as she began to stride out of the room. Lucas asked for a minute, at the same time that Jake stood, saying he'd join them. Jake and Brooke left the room, and Nathan gave his brother a long, hard stare. He told Lucas that he was going to get Haley, and he'd give him no more time than that.

Ignoring his little brother, Lucas stepped closer to Peyton. She finally met his gaze, now that they were alone. Her look said, 'What do you want from me?' and, to be honest, he didn't know the answer to that. "I was so scared when I heard you got in an accident, Peyton. I know we haven't talked in years, and I'm sorry for that, but you should know, the possibility that you might die put a lot of things into perspective for me," he paused, and she said nothing. Instead of this being by choice, like it had been for the past few days, she honestly didn't know what to say. "You can't retreat inside your shell, though. Yes, it was horrible what happened, but you can't stop living your life," he continued.

This time she didn't need to think before speaking. The words came out of her mouth before she could stop them. "Damn you, Lucas, what kind of say do you have? You stopped contact with me, and now you want to come here and give me pity, or sympathy, because you think I want it. Well, I don't want it, and I don't want you here. So just get out. You have no right to be here, and I don't want you here," she yelled pointing to the door, but then pulling her arm back because of the pain it sent through her ribs. It was the most emotion she'd shown since she'd woken up, and even though it was anger, he was glad she was feeling something.

When Haley and Nathan followed Jamie into the room before Lucas could respond, he just left, deciding to respect her wishes. Nathan took one look at Peyton as his brother brushed by him, and he knew that Lucas had upset her. Without a word, he followed his brother out of the room, and Lucas was halfway down the hallway when Nathan caught up to him, grabbing his arm and spinning Lucas to face him. "Hey, man, what the hell is your problem? She just lost her baby, Lucas, and she doesn't need you, who knows nothing of her life right now, through your choice, to come in here and screw around with her emotions," he yelled, because he had heard the shouting from Peyton's room.

Shaking Nathan's hand off of his arm, Lucas looked incredulously at his brother. "I don't have a problem, Nathan. You seem to be the one with the problem. I just want that woman in there to be the fighter she is. She shouldn't lose herself like she lost her baby. Her mothers wouldn't want that, and you shouldn't want that either. Haley told me that Peyton looks depressed every time she sees her, and she only talks to the kids. I know that Peyton is a fighter, and she can get past this, if someone is there pushing her. I know I haven't been there for her, but I want to change that," he retorted before turning and walking away.

When Nathan reentered the room, Haley shared a look with him, while Jamie babbled on to Peyton. He had instantly taken to her, and Peyton couldn't say she didn't adore the little blonde boy. He looked so much like his uncle, it was funny, but his personality was definately a mix of his parents. He had Haley's smarts, and Nathan's love of basketball, and he really was the perfect mix of the two. Peyton was listening to Jamie, but she noticed the look between his parents. She knew they were having some kind of silent conversation, and it was all about her, and the blonde man that had just left.

Deciding to just ignore it, Peyton focused more intently on the little boy perched on the edge of her bed, talking about how he beat his daddy at basketball earlier, at a park they had found that was close to their hotel. She waited until there was a lull in his conversation to begin speaking. "Guess what, Jamie? Once I get out of the hospital, I'm going to go to Tree Hill for a while. So you can show me your house, and your pool, and your room, and Chester," she said, smiling at the little boy as his eyes grew wide with excitement. He began to tell her all the things he wanted to show her.

The couple shared another look, but they both took a seat and listened to their son go on and on. Peyton just listened intently, nodding her head, and commenting approprietly, though the look in her eyes was miles away. A little while later, Jenny appeared in the doorway, followed by Nikki. Nathan and Haley took that as their cue to leave, and they stood, allowing Jamie to give his aunt Peyton a gentle hug. They both said their goodbyes as Jenny came into the room, instantly taking Jamie's place. She gave her mom a hug as Nikki entered the room, taking one of the chairs. "Where's Daddy?" the little girl asked innocently.

To be honest, Peyton had no idea. He hadn't come back after leaving with Brooke, and, after the shoting match between Nathan and Lucas, Peyton was pretty sure the broody blonde hadn't joined them. She wondered if Brooke and Jake were still hanging out, and then she wondered if she cared. To be honest, she just wasn't sure anymore, as horrible as that might make her sound. She was tired of pain, tired of feeling. She just wanted to be numb. Of course, she couldn't say any of that to the little girl. So she forced a smile. "I think Daddy went to eat something," she told her.

Of course, Peyton noticed the look Nikki was giving her. She looked up for a minute, meeting the brunettes dark eyes, but she couldn't stand the contact. She wondered if Nikki knew what she was thinking, and she found herself hoping that she didn't, but at the same time, hoping that she did. She needed someone to know what was going through her mind, to push her into sharing her feelings, so she could get some comfort. She knew that wouldn't be Jake. He had never been one for forcing her into anything. If not him, though, then who? She just wasn't sure.

A/N: First, let me say, thank you for all the reviews. I loved every one of them, and I'm glad you guys like them. Some of you might know that I accidently said there would be a Breyton confrontation after the funeral in the last A/N. Well, that should happen next chapter. Everyone will be back in Tree Hill for the next chapter and, since this fic is focused on Peyton mainly, that's where it'll stay for the time being. Yes, Peyton is pulling away from Jake, big time, but Lucas was right about her needing a push in the right direction. Who will actually be the one to give it to her? You'll find out, in due time. Oh, and I might not have an update next Sunday, because I'm really busy this week. I'm going camping, then I'm going up to my grandmothers house, so there might not be an update for this fic, sorry. We'll have to see if I can find time to write. Anyway, keep up the reviewing, it really does inspire me. Thanks for reading!

Disclaimer: I don't own anything.


	4. Ch3: Confrontation and Cemeteries

All too soon, it was time for the funeral. As Peyton had requested, it was held in Tree Hill. The reception was going to be held at Peyton's old house, which she was currently staying at, and Haley had been a big help in getting that ready. Peyton hadn't really been able to be involved at all. Ever since she had been released from the hospital a couple of days before, she had done little more than sit, curled up on the porch swing. She only ate when forced, and she barely spoke to anyone except the children.

When it was time to leave the house, Jake stepped outside to find Peyton on the porch swing, like he'd expected her to be, wearing a loose black dress that used to fit her like a glove. Her curls hung lank and lackluster and she wore no makeup. Jenny was sitting on her lap, which had recently returned. Peyton had gained virtually no weight, except for the weight of the baby, and so with that gone, she was her former skinny self. Given the fact that she barely ate, she was slowly fading away, it seemed.

As he stood in the front doorway, watching his wife stroke his daughter's hair as Jenny curled up next to the woman she viewed as a mother, Jake couldn't help but wonder if she really was fading away. He hoped that the funeral would help her to move on, but he wasn't sure it would. She showed no emotion anymore, except obviously faked emotion for the kids. It was hard for her to even do that, considering all she wanted was to know that Annabeth was still coming, and that would never happen.

Of course, Peyton was aware of Jake's presence, but she pretended not to notice. She didn't want to go today. It was something she never wanted to do: put the baby she never even got to hold into the ground forever. She was only going for one last chance to say goodbye. She shouldn't have to be doing this, though, and she hated herself for not paying better attention. Granted, she wasn't the one who ran the red light, but neither was Jake, and a part of her blamed him as well. If only he had been driving. If only they had taken longer at the hospital. If only they had taken a different route.

None of that was Jake's fault, and it wasn't hers either. Truthfully, she knew that, in her brain. In her heart, she just wanted someone to blame, just so she wouldn't feel the hurt in her heart. She wanted her baby girl, safe in her stomach, the baby that was her and Jake, which, at that point, she wasn't sure she'd ever get again. She didn't feel comfortable around him anymore, and she didn't want to open up to him. She hoped that would pass with time, but she wasn't sure it would.

Checking his watch again, Jake decided it was time to go to the service. He cleared his throat as he stepped forward, closing the front door behind himself, making sure it was locked. "It's time to go," he said softly, and Peyton avoided his gaze as Jenny climbed off of her lap. She took the girls small hand as she stood up, nearly falling over as she lost her balance. He steadied her with his good arm as she placed her free hand on her ribs. She gently pulled out of his grip to grab her crutches, which were resting against the house next to the swing.

Keeping a careful eye on her as she made her way down the porch steps, he took Jenny's hand and followed her to the curb, just as Brooke pulled up. She had been a lot of help, but mostly to Jake, since Peyton didn't really talk to her. Lucas hadn't been around much, respecting Peyton's wishes. She kind of wished now that he didn't give up so easily, but she didn't expect anything else, really. Brooke got out of her car and helped Peyton and Jenny into it. Peyton chose to sit in the back, and Jake got the passenger side.

As Brooke started driving, Jenny asked where Nathan, Haley and Jamie were, since they were supposed to be the ones to pick them up. Brooke glanced at Peyton in the rearview mirror before returning her eyes to the road. "I offered to pick you guys up, since their car was full. Lucas went with them, and they should be there already, because they left at the same time I did," she answered the little girl's innocent question. Peyton wondered why Lucas rode with Nathan and Haley, instead of his fiancee, but she stayed silent, keeping her thoughts to herself as she continued to stare out the window.

The service went quickly, because Peyton tuned out the speaker. He didn't know her baby. No one did, except her, because she was the only one who actually got to come into contact with her. No one else knew what she was going through, and no one would. There was nothing anyone could say to make this justified, especially not some stranger. So she thought about her baby, her hand resting on her stomach that felt a lot emptier now. Then it was time to go to the cemetery, and put the tiny coffin into the ground.

More words were said before the casket was lowered, but Peyton tuned those out too. Her eyes were focused on the box containing her baby. She knew that Jake was crying, and most everyone else was too, but she couldn't summon the tears, not in front of everyone who would never understand. She just stood, leaning on her crutches, watching as Jake and Jenny stepped forward to drop a handful of dirt on the casket. When it was her turn, she stepped forward and dropped a handful of dirt in the hole, mouthing, 'Mommy loves you.'

After that they all drove to the Naley house, for lunch. Everyone came up to give Peyton their condolonces, but she really wished they wouldn't. She was only there for half an hour before she had to leave. Jake was somewhere around the house, and Haley was making her a plate, but she'd never be able to eat. She got to her feet and grabbed her crutches, hobbling to the door. She made it to the front porch before she was caught. "Peyton, where are you going?" Brooke asked from behind her.

The blonde couldn't help her hostility. It had been bugging her so much that Brooke was acting like nothing had happened. Not to mention the stress of the day. She just snapped. "I don't see how that's any of your business. It hasn't been your business for nearly five years, and you haven't cared at all. Now this happens and you expect to just pick up like nothing happened. You expect me to just forget all the hurt, and forgive you for just stopping contact with me. I'm sorry, but it just doesn't work like that," she shouted, turning on her heel to leave again.

Brooke stood there in shock for a moment, before she started after Peyton. "Wait, Peyton, just wait," she called, but the blonde didn't slow down. She kept right on hobbling along. Luckily, Brooke wasn't on crutches. "The phone lines run two ways, you know. You're just as much to blame for our lack of contact as I am. You can't shove all the blame on me. You're the one who left, Peyton. You abondoned me!" her voice rose on the last sentence and she stopped in her tracks, as Peyton finally stopped walking.

For a moment, silence passed between the two. "Brooke, you abondoned me long before I left. You were spending more time with Haley and Lucas, and you were starting Clothes Over Bros. You didn't need me anymore, and I needed Jake. I needed to feel loved and needed, and that's what he did. I needed to get away from seeing you and Lucas together every day, because everytime I saw you guys, it killed me inside, a little more. I just needed to be with someone who I knew could love me back," she paused with the revelation.

Both of them were a little shocked by her outburst, and they were both glad the shouting hadn't attracted anybody yet. Peyton shook her head slowly. "I emailed you all the time, Brooke. I tried to make it work. I showed up at your graduation, and I tried to reconnect, but you were more focused on Lucas, and the fact that Rachel was gone. You didn't answer one of my emails. You didn't call me to tell me you were engaged. You didn't even come to my wedding, Brooke! How the hell did you think that made me feel?" she gestured wildly with her hands as she spoke.

Taking a deep breath, she tried to reign in her anger. Brooke had no response. "I tried, Brooke, I did, and you didn't. Eventually, I just stopped trying, because I realized I just needed to move on. You obviously had, and it hurt everytime you didn't respond to one of my emails. I had to hear news about you from Nathan and Haley. We were supposed to be best friends, Brooke, forever. I guess forever has a different meaning for you, but, in my book, it doesn't mean you can pick up like nothing happened. I have to leave," she said as she began hobbling along again.

As Peyton got further away, Brooke couldn't move. "Peyton, I'm sorry," she spoke softly, but the wind carried her words to the blonde. Peyton stopped walking, but her back was still to Brooke. "I think I was always worried that one day you'd come back, saying you still loved Lucas, and he's never been able to say no to you. So I pulled away from you. I know it was wrong, but I think it was a defense mechinism. Hearing what happened to you, it put a lot of things into perspective, and I don't want you out of my life. I miss you, P. Sawyer," she said.

For a moment, Brooke watched Peytons back, but then Peyton started moving again. Without turning, or saying anything, Peyton continued down the walkway. Brooke watched until Peyton disappeared before she started walking toward the house again. She sat down on the porch and just let the tears fall from her eyes. She desperately needed a good cry. After a while, someone came and put their arms around her. Her first thought was Lucas, but it didn't feel like Lucas. A quick glance up told her it was Jake. She buried her face in his chest and continued to cry.

As for Peyton, she kept walking until she reached the cemetery. She went to her moms grave first, because she saw the workers filling her baby's grave with dirt. For a long time, she sat silently, staring at her moms name etched in stone. "Take care of her, both of you. I love and miss her, but I know she's in good hands. That doesn't make me miss her any less, or miss you any less, but I know that you'll keep her safe, until I can meet her. That's all I can ask for," she pressed her fingers to her lips, then placed them on the stone.

The ground was replaced, so Peyton moved to her daughter's stone as the workers moved away. She dropped her crutches and laid on the ground, digging her fingers into the fresh dirt as she laid there. Peyton didn't pay attention to the time as she lay on the dirt. She didn't talk, just laid there. When dusk started to fall, and so did the rain, Peyton still didn't move. The rain actually allowed a few tears to escape from her eyes without being noticed. She didn't really cry, like she needed to, but it was a start.

That was how Lucas found her: Laying with one hand digging into the dirt, soaked to the skin, shivering, even though she didn't notice it. He sat down next to her, took off his grey Keith Scott Body Shop sweatshirt, which was still somewhat dry, and covered her with it. She acted like she didn't even notice him there. Maybe she didn't. If she didn't, she was far worse off than he thought. She blinked and her gaze flickered over to him for an instant, letting him know that she knew he was there.

At least there was that. Although, that wasn't much. "Peyt, you can't do this to yourself. Annabeth would not want this for you, and neither would your mothers. They'll take good care of her, I'm sure of it. And if she needs it, Keith will take care of her too. We know far too many people up there who will take care of her. She wouldn't want you to be one of them. She'd want you to live your life, and come to meet her when it was time, and it is not time yet, Peyton, I promise you that," he said.

Finally, this got a respose. She sat up, moving back, away from him, and leaning against the headstone. Her head was swimming because it had been so long since she had eaten, and her movements were too fast. Still, that didn't make her pause. "No, damnit, Lucas, you don't know what she would want. That's the point! We'll never know what she would want, because we'll never know her. She should be here, in my stomach. No one understands, because it wasn't anyone else's job to protect her. It was mine, and I couldn't do it," she yelled.

No one else was around, because they were in a cemetery and it was raining, so he didn't stop her. He'd allow her to yell to her hearts content, and he'd try to get her to cry. She'd never be able to move on if she didn't let it all out. "Peyton, listen to me. I want you to listen," he said, taking her face in his hands so she would meet his gaze. "It's not your fault. She doesn't blame you. No one does. It wasn't your fault, and you've got to stop feeling guilty about it. It was an accident, only an accident," he said firmly.

Pulling away from his grip, Peyton shook her head. She couldn't meet his gaze anymore. "I blame me, Lucas. I blame me, for not protecting her, and I blame Jake, for not protecting me. I blame the stupid idiot who ran a red light. I know, it's not Jake's fault, and I'm horrible for blaming him, but none of you can understand how I'm feeling. I had just found out my little baby was a girl. I could picture her in my mind. And then that car came out of nowhere, and took it all away. The living being inside me is gone, and not the way she's supposed to be. No one understands that," she said.

Taking a deep breath, Lucas returned his hands to his lap and contemplated what to say. "Yes, Peyton, no one knows what it's like to lose a baby while it's inside them. We all know how to deal with loss, though, at least on some level. We all know that you've lost more than any of us, but how do you expect us to understand what you're feeling, if you don't talk. You don't talk to anyone over ten these days, and we can't help you if you won't let us. We all want to be here for you. If you can't talk to me, at least talk to someone," he told her.

Closing her eyes, she prepared to admit something to him. "Lucas, you're the only one I feel like I can talk to. I don't know what it is, or why it is, but it's kind of always been that way. I haven't said this much to 'anyone over ten,' as you said, since the accident, except for the fight I had with Brooke. So, it's not you, or anyone else really. It's just me. It's always been me," she shook her head quickly, trying to erase all that she had just admitted. She hadn't meant to open up to him, but he had a way of making her open up to him.

Secretly, he was glad that she still opened up to him, and only him. He shoved that emotion away though, because he didn't quite understand it. She had Jake, and he had Brooke, right? Still, they both knew that it had always been there between them, and it was so easy that they made it hard. Both of them were guilty of that. He was somewhat glad to know that it was still there, though, and part of him wondered why that was, but a smaller part, which he refused to acknowledge, already knew the answer to that.

Instead of saying anything, he moved over, so he was sitting next to her as she leaned against the headstone. She let her head fall onto his shoulder and he wrapped an arm around hers as he rested his chin on her head and they both got soaked by the rain. They'd always been able to sit and talk, or sit and not talk, and they were both glad time hadn't changed that. Peyton was glad that she had someone to talk to, and Lucas was glad that she had finally let some emotions out, even it she had only scratched the surface.

A little while after that, the sun was almost completely set, and the two blondes had yet to move. Finally, Lucas decided to break the silence, and he knew he had to get Peyton dried off soon, or she'd be sick as a dog. "So, that's what Brooke was crying about in the arms of your husband?" he asked. She tilted her head to look up at him, confused for a moment, having forgotton about Brooke for the time being. "I mean, she was crying in Jake's arms for a long time before I left. You two had a fight?" he cocked his eyebrow as he looked down at her, his eyes asking his unspoken question.

With a shrug, Peyton moved away from him. Just like that, her walls were back up again, albeit, not quite as high as before. "Yeah, I yelled at her, she yelled at me, I yelled some more, and then she apologized and I left," she said, and he knew that was all she would say on the subject for the time being. He was a bit disappointed, but he knew that she would open all the way up to him at her own time. Peyton Sawyer didn't follow anyone's time line but her own, no matter who the person was. He knew that.

That didn't mean he wouldn't try to see if he could figure out more from Brooke. She had always been closed off to him too, at least a little bit, and while he'd been able to break down most of her borders, he'd never quite been able to break down all of them. Maybe that was why they wouldn't work. Maybe they both knew that, and that was why they hadn't set a wedding date. Either way, he needed to sit down and have a long conversation with Brooke, and neither of them were going to particularily like it, but it had to happen.

Since Peyton had pulled away, both physically and emotionally, Lucas decided it was time to go. He stood to his feet, holding out a hand to help her up. "I think your daughter would kill me if I let you get sick out here," he said, only partially joking. When he saw the look on her face, he quickly clarified, before she got mad at him. "I'm talking about the one that's still alive. Jenny is your daughter too, Peyt, maybe not by blood, but you'd have to be crasy not to see the way Jenny looks up to you. She may call Nikki her mom, too, but she looks up to you the way you looked up to Anna," he met her eyes.

The blonde woman didn't say anything, just handed him his sweatshirt and took her crutches from him when he picked them up for her. She didn't know what to say. She wanted to believe him, but she didn't know if she could. So she turned and headed toward home. "Where are you going?" he asked as he caught up with her. She sent him a look, but remained silent. "I'm driving you back to your house. You're not walking all that way, on crutches, in the rain. No way, no how," he said, leading her to the car.

What he didn't mention, but took a mental note of, was that they were back to silent Peyton. Peyton the fighter had come out for just a little while while they talked, but now they were back to the silent Peyton that had been seen lately. He didn't try to change that now, though, because he knew he would get get to share her feelings again. He promised himself he would get her back to normal if it was the last thing he did. He only hoped that she would stay in Tree Hill long enough for that to happen.

A/N: I think this chapter is kind of short compared to some of the chapters i've been writing lately. I was trying to hurry and finish it so I could post it, though, so excuse me if it's not as good as my other chapters. I kind of liked it, but I think it could be better if I had more time to spend on it. Tell me what you think. Any questions, comments or suggestions you may have, leave a review! Thanks for the reviews on the last chapter, and I really hope you all like this one.

Disclaimer: I don't own anything except my ideas.


	5. Ch4: Abondoned

Turning away from her husband, she noticed Jenny, watching them anxiously. Without hesitation, she pulled the little girl up into her embrace, letting her hide her face in the crook of her shoulder. She hated that they were doing this to her. "Listen, Jake, if you have to go, go, but I'm not ready to go back to Savannah yet, and I'm not sure when I will be," she said, in a loud whisper. They had been having the same argument for two weeks, ever since the funeral and Jake was finally insisting that he had to go back, or he would have no job. She, however, was not moving in her position. She was just not ready to go back yet.

With a frustrated sigh, he ran a hand through his short brown hair. "Fine," he said, not lowering his voice. "Give me my daughter and I'll go," he held out his arms for Jenny. Peyton did not miss the way he said 'my daughter,' but Jake missed the pain on her face because of it. She quickly hid the hurt look, and gave Jenny a kiss on the forehead before handing the small girl over. Since Jake's arm was broken, he only gave his daughter a quick hug before setting her on her feet. They both knew the fighting was hurting Jenny, but honestly, they were all hurting.

Instead of saying anything else, he took his daughter's little hand in his, picked up his bag with his broken hand and threw it over his shoulder before picking up Jenny's small, pink bag, and heading toward the front door without so much as a glace back at his wife. She had spent the past two weeks holed up in her room, playing music, much like she did in high school, except in high school, she was forced to leave her room some of the time. Since she had only just graduated art school, and had yet to find a steady job, all she had was her part time job back in Savannah, and that obviously wasn't enough motivation for her.

Actually, what really hurt him was that he obviously wasn't enough motivation for her to get out of bed. Well, not just him, but their life. She obviously didn't want to go back, and he wished she would just talk to him about it, instead of fighting with him. That's all they did anymore. They fought, and she pulled away from him, and then they fought some more. He was trying to hold on to her, and what they had, but it was like she was just letting go, of everything. He couldn't stand living that way anymore, so he was going to give her the space she wanted, and he'd hope she'd come back to him. That was the only thing he could think of to do anymore.

The blonde watched at the door as Jake threw their stuff into the new car he had recently bought, since her Comet was pronounced totaled, and he buckled Jenny into her car seat. The little girl noticed the absence of the woman immediately. "Why isn't Mommy coming?" she asked. Jake didn't answer her, but she just looked to Peyton, reaching out towards her. "I want Mommy," the little girl yelled. It killed Peyton to see the hurt in those eyes, but she had to grit her teeth, force a smile, and wave. She called that she would be home soon, though she wasn't sure she would be, and that seemed to placate the girl a little bit.

As they drove off, Peyton saw Lucas, running, at the other end of the block. Truthfully, she had seen him run past her house every morning, from her bedroom window, but she hadn't stopped him to talk, even though she kind of wanted to. She knew that Jake and Brooke had hung out quite a few times over the past couple of weeks, so he knew she was there, all he had to do was come over. He also knew she never locked her door. So, it was quite obvious to her that he didn't want to talk. She tried to tell herself that she didn't want to talk anyway, but she knew that wasn't true. It wasn't that she didn't want to talk to Jake, per se. It was more that she wanted to talk to Lucas.

Before he could see her, she retreated inside the house and closed the door. She wondered if he saw the car drive away, and if he thought she was in it. Sighing, she headed back up the stairs, trying to tell herself it didn't matter. He was just passing the house when she got to her window, and she was free to stare at him for a moment without anyone seeing. At the sight of him, she felt a familiar flutter of her heart. She wished it would just go away, because all it did was remind her that she didn't get that feeling with Jake. She had never gotten that feeling with anyone except Lucas, to be honest. She had felt something similar every time she saw Jake before the accident, but it wasn't near as strong as what she felt for Lucas, and it had kind of disappeared after the accident.

All she wanted to do was climb into bed at that depressing thought, but she put on a record first. Then she climbed into bed and stayed there for the next couple of days. She got out of bed maybe once or twice a day to eat, and she got out of her bed to use the bathroom, but that was about it. The only reason she took a shower and left the house was because the house was out of food without Jake there to buy groceries. So she decided to go get some groceries, and come home. She only hoped that no one saw her while she was out of the house. She got into her dad's car, which he left at the house when he was out on jobs, and drove to the store.

Unfortunately, her plan didn't go so well. She was just about to take her basketful of groceries to the check-out counter when her cart hit another. She looked up and was about to apologize when she saw who was pushing the other cart. At the sight of those blue eyes, the butterflies in her stomach, which only came to life because of the man in front of her, instantly began working overtime. "I should have known," she muttered to herself, choosing to ignore the blonde as she abandoned her cart and fled the store. She just needed to get out, now, groceries be damned, She could call for takeout if she had to. Maybe she could even get Karen to send her something.

Now that Lucas was sure she was still in Tree Hill, it didn't matter if everyone else knew. She didn't think about the fact that Brooke was probably still talking to Jake, and so she would already know that Peyton was still in Tree Hill, and therefore Lucas would know too. Even that theory, though, had some holes, though none that Peyton knew about. Getting into her car, she glanced back to notice that Lucas hadn't followed her out of the store. She wondered if that was because she had surprised him as much as he surprised her, or if it was just because he didn't care. She hoped it wasn't the latter, but due to her sometimes pessimistic nature, she figured it was.

So, she didn't expect, later on that evening, after she'd called Karen to see if the woman could bring her something to ear, which Karen happily obliged, that Lucas would be the one to bring said food. She expected Karen and Lily, or maybe Haley and Jamie, or possibly even Brooke, but she did not expect Lucas to be on the other side of the door when she opened it. As a result to her shock, she just stood there, leaning against the door, as he watched her with an amused smile on his face. Eventually, though, he got tired of standing there, and asked if she was going to invite him in, or if he would have to eat the food his mother had made by himself.

Despite the fact that she didn't think she was hungry, her stomach growled, giving her away, and she stepped back, allowing him into her house. She did wonder why he had knocked instead of just walking in, like he used to, and before she could shove the question out of her mind, it forced its way out of her lips. A little shocked, Lucas turned to stare at her. "I guess because I didn't know if you'd want me here," he said finally, his blue eyes boring into her greens as if he were trying to find answers.

Not really sure of the questions and pretty sure he'd find what he was looking for, because he'd always been able to, Peyton turned away, headed for the couch. She sat down and gestured for him to do the same. He sat on the opposite end of the couch, and began to take the takeout containers out of the bags he had. "For you, your favorite sandwich, assuming it is still your favorite," he said, handing her a box. He took one out for himself as she opened hers. It was, in fact, a BLT, without the tomatoes and with relish. She took a bite to see if Karen still remembered her preference, and there was, in fact, Miracle Whip instead of mayonnaise.

With a slight moan, she closed her eyes as she swallowed. "To this day, Karen still makes the best sandwich I've ever had," she said, with a hint of embarrassment when she opened her eyes and noticed Lucas staring at her in amusement. With a smile, he just nodded, because he agreed. No matter where he'd been, or where he would go, his mother had always been the best cook he'd ever met. When Lucas didn't respond, Peyton felt the need to stop stuffing her face and talk to him. "So, why are you here exactly? Does your fiancée know you're here?" she couldn't help but mention Brooke, even though she didn't really want to talk about the brunette. She'd feel guilty about the whole thing if she didn't, though.

Just like that, as if Peyton had said some kind of magic words, and maybe she had, the whole mood changed. Lucas's demeanor changed from amused to withdrawn in a matter of two seconds flat. Then he started choking, as he had tried to hastily swallow a bite of his sandwich, and it had gone down the wrong pipe. Peyton smacked him on the back a few times, and made him take sips of water until he stopped choking. He was red in the face when he finally answered her question. "Well, um, I don't exactly have a fiancée anymore," he spat out before taking another long drink of water from the glass of water that she had ran to get from the kitchen.

Peyton had still been standing over him, but at his words, she sank back onto the couch, trying to process them. He was steadily avoiding her gaze, taking cautious bites in between sips of water. She didn't know what to think. Brooke and Lucas were broken up, and Brooke hadn't been over here to cry on Peyton's shoulder and/or yell at her? She and Brooke had been talking lately. They weren't best friends yet, but they were slowly beginning to get there. They were close enough that she would assume Brooke would come to her with something like this. Unless it just happened. "When?" she asked curiously, looking over at the blond.

Looking down and scratching the back of his neck, Lucas admitted that they'd been broken up for a week and a half. So, the deal wasn't that it had just happened. Brooke just hadn't told her. She had seen Brooke since then, too, and Brooke hadn't mentioned a thing. Granted, Peyton had been paying more attention to her music when Brooke had visited her in her room, but she would have paid attention to that. She would have remembered that. "Why? What happened?" she asked, still dumbfounded.

Taking a deep breath, Lucas looked over at her. "Well, she said that it had just taken to long to set a date, and she didn't think my heart was in our relationship anymore," he said, and she nodded. She knew a year engaged was a long time to go without setting a date. She could kind of see Brooke's point. Lucas wasn't finished yet, though. "She also seems to think that my heart belongs to you," he said quickly, once again returning his attention to his food while she processed what he said. Peyton didn't know what to think. He didn't say whether it was true or not, and she didn't know if she wanted it to be true or not.

Wait, what was she thinking? Of course she didn't want it to be true. She was married, to another man. The Leyton-as Brooke probably would have called it-ship had set sail long ago. There was nothing between them anymore. If all that was true, though, then why did her heart speed up at the thought? Why did part of her wish that it was true, and wish that she wasn't married to Jake. She didn't know the answers to those questions, and she didn't really feel like dwelling on them. She could also tell that Lucas didn't really want to talk about it, so she decided to just let it slide. "Oh," was all that she said, due to the lack of anything else to say.

They continued to eat in silence, and not a word was exchanged between the two until they had finished eating. Peyton couldn't stand the silence anymore. She turned to him, but all her emotions overpowered her at once, and suddenly all she could think about was her daughter, whom she never even got to meet. She started crying, and Lucas held her in his arms. "It's okay, Peyton. Go ahead and cry. It's okay, and it's going to be okay. I promise," he continued to speak words of encouragement to her, stroking her curls and rubbing her back at the same time. He didn't know why she was crying, exactly, but he was sure it had something to do with her daughter.

Crying into his shoulder, Peyton couldn't help but notice that he still smelled the same. Even after five years, his scent was the same, and it still comforted her just as much as it used to. She knew that probably wasn't right, and she shouldn't like that, but she did. She was glad there were some things that never changed. It was reassuring. She was also glad that he was there. It was refreshing. She still couldn't stop thinking about her daughter. "Why do the people I love always leave me, or die, Lucas? I mean, my daughter didn't even meet me yet, and she was taken from me. Why me? Why are the ones I love always killed, or just don't love me back?" the last part just slipped out, but she wasn't paying attention exactly to what she was saying.

For once, Lucas stayed silent for a moment. He was trying to decide what she had meant by that last part. She couldn't really mean that she wanted him to love her, did she? She was married to Jake. He was probably reading too much into it. Still, his heart started beating faster in the way only she inspired. "Peyton, I admit that a lot of bad things happen to you, but it's not your fault, okay? I promise you, there is nothing wrong with you," he stopped himself before he said too much. "I'm still here, and Brooke is here, and Nathan, Haley, Jamie, my mom, and Lilly, we all love you, Peyton Sawyer. People don't always leave, Peyt," he paused, as he considered the way he had abandoned contact with her after she had left. She had abandoned him, though. Either way, they were both back in each others lives. "And sometimes if people leave, they come back," he added.

A long stretch of time passed with no sound except for Peyton's sobs. She was ruining his shirt, but neither really cared about that. He continued to stroke her hair, and eventually her shoulders began to shake less and less. "Lucas, I miss her. I never even met her, and I miss her. I just wish that I had gotten to meet her, to see what she would have looked like. Would she have looked more like me, or Jake? Whose personality would she have? Things like that. Now I'll never know, and I can't stop blaming myself. I know, now, that it was just an accident, but it was an accident that took my baby, and now I might never be able to have another. Things like this really mess a woman up," she admitted to him, keeping her face turned down.

During her confession, Lucas's hands did not still their movement. He waited for her to finish as he considered her words. "I'm so sorry, for that, Peyton. It's always going to be hard, you know. I mean, Keith will never know my children, and that's all because of Dan. The guy who gave me life took away the life of the person who I will always look up to as a father. I still wonder if Keith would still be here if I hadn't gone back for you, but I honestly can't fathom a world without you in it, somewhere. We may have been out of touch, and I'm sorry, because it's my fault, but at least I knew you were alive and safe, mostly," he paused, lost in thought for a moment.

Silently, Peyton waited, trying to figure out where he was going with this. She wasn't entirely sure, so she just waited, knowing he would go on eventually. She was right. "Anyway, when I found out that you had been in an accident, the only thing I could think of was getting to you, because I've always had a soft spot for you, and I can't help but want to save you. Even if it wasn't my duty, or responsibility, I wanted to. Even if I couldn't. And I'm really straying from my original point," he chuckled. "I miss Keith every day, and sometimes I still feel responsible for his death. I can't live life by the 'what ifs', though, and you can't either. The other possibilities will always be there, but they didn't happen for a reason, Peyton," he finished.

As she listened to his heartbeat, she considered his words. Maybe he was right. He always knew the right things to say, and she loved him for that. Wait, did she just think that? She didn't know what to think anymore. Was she still in love with Lucas, or did she love him like a friend? What about her husband? She just didn't know anymore. She needed to sort out her emotions, but she was still reeling over her latest confession with Lucas. It was time to replace the walls, and stop talking. She wasn't ready to let go yet, though. "Will you just lay on the couch with me, and just hold me, please?" she asked, looking up.

As she looked into his blue eyes, he couldn't refuse her. He had never really had the ability to say no to Peyton Sawyer, even if she'd been able to say no to him. The tears still streaming down her cheeks also made it impossible to do anything other than what the blonde wanted. So he lay back, pulling her down on top of him and wrapping his arms tight around her. She put her face in the crook of his neck and breathed in slowly, trying to gain control of her breathing. He lightly kissed her forehead, and continued rubbing her back and stroking her hair until she fell asleep on his chest.

**A/N: **_Time for another update. I had lots of time to write this week, so I'm ahead now, and I will definitely have an update next week. This chapter had some Leyton interaction, and the rift between Jeyton is growing. What do y'all think? How did y'all like the chapter? I was glad to get to this part. I'm thinking there won't be that many chapters to this fic, probably not more than 15, only because I don't have a lot of ideas for it. It might be longer, but it'll probably be my shortest ever. That's okay, though, as long as y'all like it. So, tell me whatcha think, please! Thanks for all the reviews for the last chapter. I appreciate the support!_

**Disclaimer: **_I don't own anything except my characters and ideas._


	6. Ch5: Surprise Visit

Both blondes were awoken by a slamming door a few hours after they had both fallen asleep. Peyton ended up falling off the couch, and Lucas slammed his head into the arm of the couch. Peyton, groaning in pain, looked around to see what had awoken her, while Lucas sat up, rubbing his head. He pulled back the curtain above the couch and noticed Brooke's car out front before sinking back into the couch. "Brooke," was all he had to say for Peyton to know exactly what happened. He sat up and helped the blonde off the floor, before looking at her, waiting for her to decide what to do.

It wasn't like they'd done anything wrong, but Brooke wouldn't see it that way, even if she had broken up with Lucas over a week ago, even if she was spending time with Peyton's husband. Of course, it wasn't the same thing, because there had always been something between Lucas and Peyton, a connection that neither of them could explain, or define, mush less anyone else. It took her a moment for the pain to pass so she could think clearly. The fall had jer ked her ribs and slammed her broken leg into the coffee table. "You go out first, and when you're gone, if she's still here, I'll go outside and talk to her," she nodded as she explained her plan, as if trying to convince herself that it was the best thing to do.

After grabbing his things, Lucas did as he was told. Peyton waited until she saw his car drive away before she left the house, spotting Brooke on the porch swing. She hobbled over there on her crutches and sat on the swing, rather awkwardly, because she was still really sore from that fall. Brooke was staring icily straight ahead, and Peyton stayed silent, waiting for the outburst that was sure to come. She was right. "Damnit, Peyton, again? Seriously? How could you do this to me, really? What the hell? You have a husband, and step-daughter, and you're still over here trying to steal Lucas, you backstabbing bitch," the brunette snapped, finally looking over at the blonde.

Gasping, Peyton reeled back, as if she'd been slapped. "Screw you, Brooke. I didn't do anything with Lucas, and you two are broken up anyway. Yeah, he told me you ended the engagement, you, not him. You have no claim to him anymore, and even if you did, we're just friends. Lucas is the only one I seem to be able to talk to, and my husband abandoned me here. You should know that, though, I know you talk to him, and you've been to see him twice since he left town, and that wasn't that long ago. So you should watch it before you throw out accusations. You have no right, and I'd really prefer it if you'd get off my property. If you're not here as my friend, I don't want you here at all," she said coldly.

As Peyton struggled to get up so she could head into the house, Brooke just sat there. Then, much to Peyton's surprise, Brooke started crying. Giving up all attempts to stand, Peyton looked over at the woman next to her, whom she hadn't seen cry in over five years. Even though she had just been mad at Brooke moments ago, she couldn't stop the urge she felt to wrap Brooke into her arms so she could comfort the woman who was once her best friend. "P. Sawyer, I'm sorry. I know I've been a horrible person to you, and I don't deserve your friendship. I'm sorry for lashing out at you, but I saw you with Lucas and I immediately jumped to conclusions that, you're right; I had no right to jump to. I guess I just can't believe that it's over, you know, I've been with him for five years, and we were engaged for one, but it's actually over," she spoke through sobs.

With those words, Peyton pulled Brooke into a hug, stroking her hair, and allowing her to sob on her shoulder. "It's okay, Brookie, and you know why it's going to be okay? We have each other, now. Neither of us may have been there for each other recently, but I'm back now, and you're back, and even if I go back to Savannah, I'm still going to be here for you. We may have lost each other along the way, but I don't want to lose our friendship again. I don't know about you, but you're like a sister to me, and I've lost too many family members to lose a sister too," she said, when Brooke's sobs began to subside.

Finally, the tears stopped, and Brooke felt a bit embarrassed as she pulled back, wiping away the wetness from her cheeks. "I really am sorry, Peyton, and I do want to be best friends again, I really do. Of course you're like a sister to me, and I'd never want to lose that," she said, taking the blonde's hand as they both sat there, and struck up a conversation about their lives.

Both Peyton and Brooke talked about the years before the accident, talking about their lives then, and trying not to bring up anything that would lead to tears. Peyton talked about life with Jake, when it was good, and Brooke talked about the days before things with her and Lucas seemed to come to a stand still. They didn't mention anything about the accident, or anything that had happened since then. It was just easier that way, for the both of them.

After a while, Brooke decided that all three women needed to hang out, and that included Haley. They were just discussing pla ns when Peyton's phone began to ring. Brooke stepped away to call Haley to check that her girls night was okay with her, while Peyton answered her phone. "Hello," she answered after checking the Caller ID, which said Nikki. "mhmm… yeah… sure, that'd be great… okay, see you then… bye," she said before shutting her phone. Nikki was going to bring Jenny to Tree Hill for the weekend when she had her, because she knew that Jake was going to be stubborn, and he probably wouldn't. Peyton really appreciated the gesture, especially from Nikki. They really had become good friends.

It hadn't started out that way, though. For a long time, Nikki resented Peyton, for being married to Jake, and getting to live with her daughter. It had taken a while for things to change. Slowly, though, Nikki began to change, and Peyton noticed that. When the judge granted full custody to Jake after that year, Nikki didn't respond by doing anything illegal, like kidnapping the little girl, like she had in the past. She just worked harder, and turned her life around, so she could appeal and actually have a better chance. One day, Peyton was out at the park, and Nikki showed up, just wanting to spend time with her daughter. The blonde had let her hang out with Jenny for a little while and that was how it started. Peyton started taking Jenny secretly to see her mother, and she began to get to know Nikki, and Jenny liked her mother. By the time she appealed, Peyton and Nikki had developed a friendship, and Nikki got her daughter every other weekend.

When Brooke got off the phone, she approached the blonde. "I have to go to work. I'm trying to set up the building that used to house Thud so I can open up a branch of my company here. Can you believe that Thud shut down? Obviously, after your strip stopped being run, the readers didn't like it as much anymore, and so they stopped buying, and eventually, it just had to shut down. I guess you had more effect on our small little town than you thought," she said with a smirk, obviously proud of her best friend. "Anyway, yeah, I have to go watch the stupid contractors, make sure they don't mess things up. I was thinking Saturday for our girl's day. We'll hit the mall, but only for a little while, because you're a cripple," she teased causing Peyton to roll her eyes, "Then we'll go have lunch, and then we'll return here and hang out for the afternoon. Sound good?" she asked.

Shaking her head, she realized she would be housing Jenny and Nikki. Then she thought, why can't they join the group? They were girls too, after all. "Well, that was Nikki on the phone, and she said she was bringing Jenny here for the weekend, so I thought maybe they could come with us, if y'all don't mind," she said. Brooke contemplated for a moment, before her phone started ringing. She nodded quickly in approval, rolling her eyes at the name on the display on her phone as she turned to walk away, throwing a last wave to the blonde over her shoulder. The brunette was still cursing angrily at the person at the other end of the line as she got into her car and drove away.

For a few minutes, Peyton sat on her porch swing, trying to decide her next move. She just couldn't imagine going back to Savannah and living in the house that was prepared for their baby's arrival. It had still been a few months before she was supposed to be there, but they had done the nursery long before they had found out the sex. Peyton had decided that since she didn't like pink anyway, they would decorate the nursery in neutral colors, so it could be for either sex, just because she wanted to know the nursery was done. Now, after everything had happened, she couldn't go back, not knowing that the nursery was there, prepared for a baby that would never live in it.

Considering that, she decided she should start building a life here for now, because her money was going to run out soon. With that thought in mind, she decided to get a job at the Café. Sure, it probably wasn't the best she could do, but she had heard Karen saying she needed help, and there weren't many jobs for people who had just got their degrees in art in Tree Hill. She got into her dad's car again so she could drive to the Café.

It was awkward driving, but it was her left leg that was broken, so it wasn't completely impossible. Soon enough, she was at the Café and she was quite glad to get out of the car. Her leg was getting stiff, and her ribs still made it hurt to breathe a little bit. She hobbled into the Café with her crutches and took a seat in the nearest booth, because she didn't feel like going any further.

A few seconds later, Karen came over, asking her what she wanted. Smiling up at the woman who had been like a third mother to her in high school, she said she would like an application. "Well, Peyton, of course I'll give you a job here any time you like, but are you sure you want to work here? I mean, you went to college; you can do so much better than a job as a waitress. Not to mention, don't you live in Savannah?" she asked. Peyton answered that she could really use the job. "Okay then, you've got it," Karen said with a smile. "You've got to wait until you're fully healed, though, I won't have anyone on my staff on crutches," she said, in a typical motherly fashion.

There was a time when Peyton would have laughed at that, but she could only muster up a smile. At least it was real, though. Her first real smile since the accident. That was something. "Thanks, Karen, it means a lot to me, and my leg should be healed in about three, four weeks," she said. The older brunette walked around to Peyton's side of the booth and gave her a hug. Peyton responded with a tight hug back, and then Karen had to move on to the other customers. A few minutes later, Peyton left the Café and decided to do the grocery shopping she didn't get to finish earlier. Her dad was going to be home soon, and she had to be able to cook him something, since she was staying in his house for free.

By Saturday, her dad was already home, and Nikki and Jenny were there too. A knocking on the door announced Brooke's arrival before she entered the house, Haley trailing behind her, asking why she had just barged in. "Tutor Mom, this house has been like a second home to me and Larry and Peyton have been my real family. There is no need for me to knock," she said, as she found Peyton, Jenny and Nikki in the living room. Peyton was doing Jenny's hair. "Hey, Jenny girl, how are you doing?" she asked as she placed a kiss on the little girl's forehead. Then she gave Peyton a hug. "P. Sawyer. Are you ready to go?" she asked, giving Nikki only brief notice before ignoring her completely.

After sending Nikki an apologetic look, she finished with Jenny's hair, getting to her feet and grabbing her crutches. Then the four women and one little girl went to the mall. Peyton lagged behind, using her broken leg as an excuse, and soon enough they were all having lunch. Brooke was being pretty awful to Nikki, and eventually, Peyton had to pull her to the side. "Brooke, what the hell is your problem? What has Nikki ever done to you?" she asked, holding her hand up as she correctly read the look on Brooke's face. "I mean now. She's a different person than she was before. She's a nicer person, and for the past few years, she's been the best friend I've had," she said firmly, turning and stalking away from the brunette.

As she reached Haley and Nikki, they were laughing at something, and the l ittle girl ran up to Peyton, telling her that they were laughing at something she didn't understand why it was funny. Brooke came back and wasn't immediately nicer, but she did warm up a bit to Nikki. They didn't become best friends or anything, but she didn't snub the woman anymore, and that was all Peyton could ask for, really.

A little while later, and their girls night moved to Peyton's house, because three of them would be sleeping there anyway, and Peyton's dad wouldn't bug them. They were talking and laughing, and the women were up long after the young girl went to bed. "You know," Brooke said as she was painting Peyton's toenails, as Nikki did her hair, and Haley did Brooke's. "This feels just like high school, except we have Nikki here instead of Anna," she finished. The three women who went to high school together shared a look, then Peyton burst out laughing as she realized they were all thinking the same thing.

It was the first time she'd laughed in too long, and it felt good to her, a little abnormal, like she had to relearn how to use those muscles, but good nonetheless. "You know, I really hope not. That night, Haley ratted me out for doing cocaine, you ratted her out for lying to Nathan about recording with Chris Keller, and we all called you out on the whole friends with benefits, no feelings involved thing you had going on. I hope things are a lot different than then," she laughed, holding her sides. The other two brunettes that were at that sleepover also started laughing, and Brooke threw a pillow at Peyton.

The blonde grabbed the pillow and threw it back, as Brooke turned to Nikki. "Yeah, we weren't the best people in high school, I guess, but we got better. I mean, Peyton hasn't snorted anything since, right?" she asked, looking to the blonde for confirmation, which she received. "And Haley hasn't kissed anymore self-absorbed rock stars and gone on tour with them, right?" she looked to the other woman, who also nodded, rolling her eyes that Brooke even had to ask. "As for me, I've been exclusively dating ever since then, and I don't use guys just for sex anymore," she said with a nod, as if that was a normal statement. Her two best friends shared a look, but neither of them mentioned the fact that it really wasn't.

A little while later, they were all asleep, crashed out on the bed they'd made on the living room floor. Jenny was upstairs in Peyton's room so they wouldn't wake her up while they stayed up, but the young girl certainly didn't have any qualms about waking them up the next morning. She climbed over Haley first, then Brooke, then Nikki, looking for Peyton. Finally, there was no one else for her to wake up, and she lay down next to the blonde, cuddling up next to her, and effectively waking her up. Raising her hand, Peyton gently brushed the hair off of her daughters-no matter what Jake said-forehead, and placed a kiss there.

Then the little girl uttered the words she never wanted to say. "I miss you, Momma," she murmured as she closed her eyes, holding on tightly, as if Peyton would disappear. Those four words hit Peyton harder than a ton of bricks. It wasn't 'I missed you, Momma.' It wasn't past tense. It was present tense, like even though Peyton was right there, the little girl sensed that she still wasn't really there, and she missed the person Peyton was. That killed Peyton inside, a little more. It really made her realize that, despite her best efforts, the six-year-old had figured out something was wrong with her, and she just wanted her mom back.

Peyton didn't know if she would ever be the person she once was, but she knew that, if only for the little girl nestled in her embrace, she wanted to be the person she had been. She had never meant to hurt Jenny that way, and now that it had been brought to her attention, she wanted desperately to change the way things were, and go back to how they had been. She just didn't know if they could. It was all so complicated, and hard. She wanted to be who she used to be, but she just couldn't. She wanted to love Jake again like she used to, but she just felt like she was slipping away, and she honestly knew she was. She wanted to not love Lucas the way she did, but now the feelings were always there, flashing like a bright light in front of her eyes, not letting her forget, or go back to the way things were.

More than anything, she wanted her daughter to still be safe, and healthy in her stomach, but that was one thing she'd never be able to cha nge, and it was what hurt the most. To know that part of her died that day, and she'd never get it back, and Jake couldn't help her, and maybe Lucas could, but she wasn't sure if she could even help herself.

The doorbell rang, and her dad answered it, since he was in the kitchen drinking coffee. A few seconds later, her father led a figure into the living room. Peyton could only stare. "We need to talk," the figure stated.

A/N: I'm posting this today, because I don't know if I'll have computer access tomorrow. So, who's happy to have the update a day early? Who wants to review to tell me how happy you are? I hope all of you. Anyway, tell me who you think it is that needs to talk, and whom do they need to talk to. I had an idea in my head, but if you guys want to tell me what you think, your ideas might inspire me to change my plan. Of course, I would credit you if I used your idea. So let me know. Oh, and thanks sooo much for the reviews. I appreciate each and every one of them.

Disclaimer: I don't own anything.


	7. AN

A/N: Sorry to do this already, but I was really lacking any inspiration for this chapter... My muse seems to have disappeared lately, and things are getting very busy for me. Which is why I'm going to have to put this on hiatus. I'm not sure for how long, probably until my muse returns, and I could figure out where I want to go next. I've never had to do this before, but I think this is for the best, because I'm about to get very busy, and I just don't think I'll have time to write for a while. I wouldn't want to leave you guys waiting forever for an update every time. Thanks to all of you who have supported this fic so far, and I hope you'll continue to support it when I start writing again. Thank you.

-LeytonLoVe123


	8. Ch6: One More Day

Standing and slowly approaching her husband, Peyton was honestly surprised to see him. She really hadn't expected to see Jake until she worked up the courage to go back to Savannah. Glancing over her shoulder at the other people in the room, who were evidently waiting for her reaction, she gestured that they should go out to the front porch, where they wouldn't be overheard. Jake waited for a split second, wondering, perhaps, if she was going to give him a kiss, or a hug, or anything to give them some hope that they still had a chance. She didn't, so he turned and walked back out the front door.

Closing the door behind herself as she followed him, Peyton sat next to her husband on the porch swing. They were both on opposite ends, as far away from each other as they could possibly be, and Jake felt his last shreds of hope slipping away from him. Peyton didn't say anything, so he knew it was his job to talk first. "Listen, I didn't know that Jenny was here. I thought she was with Nikki, which is the only reason I was doing this now-because I thought we'd both be alone. I can't wait any longer, though, Peyton. I think it's quite clear where we stand, and I can't keep waiting for you to one day decide to trust in me," he said, causing her gaze to snap to his for the first time since his arrival.

Of course, she immediately knew what he was getting at, but she chose not to believe it. She shook her head with increasing dread, but she couldn't bring herself to say anything, because, really, part of her did know he was doing the right thing. "I'm sorry, Peyton, really I am. I love you, so much. More than you'll ever know, really. I just can't help but think that you don't love me the same way. I don't think you ever have really, and it was probably my fault, for thinking I could change what you felt in your heart. I think I thought that one day, you'd love me the way I love you. Only, that never happened," he paused for a moment, looking out over the lawn, at nothing.

This time, Peyton did find her voice. "I do love you, Jake. I really do," she said, as tears began to fall down her cheeks. Despite the fact that she was trying to live in denial, though, the truth was flashing right in front of her face. Even she could run from it no longer. "I'm really sorry, Jake. I wanted to love you the way you deserve. I really did. I think, if the accident hadn't happened, I really could have. I mean, we had the perfect life. I love you, and Jenny, and our daughter so much. I hope you find someone worthy of you Jake. I think she's out there, and she'll love you the way you deserve. I know it," she said as the tears slipped down her cheeks.

It was a little too late for her honesty to do any good, and it didn't help them anyway. However, he, much like Lucas, had never been able to just sit by while Peyton Sawyer cried. So he opened his arms and let him cry on his chest. "I'm going to call my lawyers, today, and see if we can start getting the divorce papers ready. I didn't want it to end this way, but I think this is how it has to be. You can still see Jenny, you know, whenever you want. Just call me up. She absolutely adores you, Peyton, and that's not going to change, even if we're not together anymore," he said as he rubbed her back soothingly.

The tears that were rolling down her cheeks weren't necessarily due to her broken heart. No, her heart had been broken a long time ago, when-and she could admit this now-Lucas had chosen Brooke over her. No, now she was crying because of someone else's broken heart: Jake's. She hated herself for leading him on so long, and she really wished that she could love him the way she had loved Lucas-because she wouldn't admit that she still loved him. No, that would just make things worse. "Please stay today, Jake, or at least let Jenny stay a while. I really want one last day with her before we tell her," she pleaded.

It was her only request, and of course he would grant it. It wasn't too much to ask. Besides, he could spend the day at his parents house. "Of course, Peyton," he murmured, still rubbing her back. She pulled away from him and tried to pull herself together. Even though her marriage was crumbling, she knew in her heart that it was the right thing, and she couldn't blame Jake for not wanting to be with her anymore, especially when she was pulling away from him. The fact that she was hurting him hurt her more than anything. She had never wanted to hurt him, but she couldn't change how she felt.

A few minutes later, Jake's car was pulling away, and Peyton was hobbling back into the house. Jenny was the first one to greet her, and Peyton picked up the little girl, giving her a kiss on the nose before setting her back down so she could make her way into the living room. As soon as Peyton got situated in a chair, she pulled the little girl into her lap, and just held her silently for a long moment, savoring the feel of the girl in her arms. Things would never be the same after this, despite what Jake said. Even if she did get to see Jenny after the divorce, she wouldn't be the girls mother anymore. Nikki held that title, and Peyton wouldn't even be Jake's wife, so Peyton would have no claim over the little girl that held such a big part of her heart.

The other women evacuated the room as Peyton had sat down with Jenny, evidently taking notice of her need to be left alone. Peyton wasn't sure if they had been able to hear the conversation between her and Jake, or if they had just guessed what had happened from the look on her face, but they all mumbled excuses under their breath and walked out of the living room. Even her father had left the room, and Peyton knew how much it pained him to see his little girl in pain. Heck, she knew how much it pained her to see Jenny in pain.

After a few minutes, Peyton was surprised that Jenny didn't say anything. Usually the little girl would be squirming to get out of Peyton's grasp by now, so she could play some game, or draw something, but the young girl stayed still and silent, obviously sensing Peyton's distress as well as everyone else had. "Mommy," Jenny finally spoke, without lifting her head from Peyton's chest. Peyton hummed a short response, letting the curious child know it was okay to voice her question. "Are you and Daddy getting a divorce?" she asked, in her ever-innocent childish voice.

Surprised, Peyton hadn't even known that the six-year-old had known that word. She assumed that the little girl learned it at school, though, and then proceeded to contemplate how to answer such an astute question. She was suddenly glad she was sitting in her mother's old rocking chair as she began to rock back and forth, slowly stroking the little girls back. The silence stretched again, but she didn't want to lie to the little girl and deny it, yet she didn't want to confirm it either, not without Jake there with her.

Finally, Peyton moved her hand to Jenny's chin, and forced those brown eyes-replicas of her father's-to look into hers. She wanted Jenny to know she was completely serious when she said this, and she wanted to know that Jenny understood. "Jen, I will always love you. I promise you that. Even if I'm not with your daddy. You'll always have a special place in my heart. You always have, since you were a tiny baby and I first looked into those big eyes of yours. You stole my heart the first time I met you, and even if I'm not technically your mommy anymore, I always want to be in your life," she said sadly, brushing a strand of hair out of Jenny's face.

After taking a moment to think it over, Peyton saw a flash of understanding in the brown eyes. She nodded and then laid her head back on Peyton's chest. "Can I still call you Mommy-Peyton, even if you marry someone else, or Daddy marries someone else?" she asked, and Peyton knew that she truly understood the whole situation. Peyton felt a flash of pride for the smart little girl. She may not biologically belong to her, but Anna hadn't been Peyton's real mother either, and Peyton still had a bond with her. Peyton hoped to always have a bond with the little girl that was on her lap.

Realizing that she still hadn't answered the question Jenny had last asked, Peyton nodded, then added her affirmation verbally. The silence fell over the pair again, and Peyton was glad the others had stayed away for a while, but the sadness was beginning to melt away. She was still deeply depressed about the accident and losing her baby, but Peyton realized she would always have a baby in Jenny, no matter what was going on between her and Jake. She was slowly becoming aware of what she did have, and she didn't want to lose the only things she had left.

Humming a lullaby that she remembered Anna singing to her in her own childhood, Peyton continued to rock the six-year-old, for as long as Jenny would let her, or until someone else came into the room to disturb the peace that had settled. The latter happened long before Jenny even thought of asking to be let down. Nikki entered the room first, fully dressed. "Hey, I have to go run a few errands. Do you mind watching her for the day while I do some things?" she gestured to the little ball in Peyton's lap, who didn't even perk up at the sound of her mother's voice.

A part of her knew that Nikki was just making up errands to run so she could spend more time with the girl, but Peyton was glad for that, and would take all the time she could get. She smiled and waved the question away, as if it was of no consequesnce. "Of course I will. Then I get to show this little one all of the really fun places to go in this town. Places way funner than the mall," she made a small gasp of horror, tickling the little girl. "Funner than the mall, I know, I better not let the Brookie Monster hear me say that, or she'll force me into more of yesterday's torture," she lowered her voice as Jenny giggled at her silliness.

The blonde was so captivated by teasing and tickling Jenny, she didn't notice Nikki's smile, or the fact that she slipped out of the living room and out the front door. A few minutes later Brooke and Haley came back into the living room, also ready to go, and they both made excuses, and promised to see Peyton later, before they also made hasty exits. Even Larry came into the living room and said he had to go out to sea for a day, and he'd be back tomorrow before he also left the house. Peyton wondered if they had all planned that, and wouldn't be surprised if they had.

Still, it didn't deter her. She was going to spend the day with Jenny. She stopped tickling the girl, and they both went upstairs to get showering and getting dressed, and then helping Jenny pick out some clothes from the selection Nikki had brought, Peyton decided she should make breakfast for the two of them. She went down to the kitchen to see what there was, and she realized that there wasn't much. She hadn't been eating as much as she should and, aside from the junk food from last night, the kitchen was not well stocked.

About twenty minutes later, because Peyton had the supplies and Jenny had insisted, the pair was covered in flour, as was the kitchen. Neither of them were very good at making pancakes, it seemed. They were both having fun, though, and that was what really mattered. Even if they were both covered in flour, they had a great time together, and they were laughing the whole time, which was exactly what Peyton needed. "Munchkin, if you flick that at me, I promise you, we will stop right now, and never get the pancakes," Peyton scolded, just as Jenny was about to toss a handful of flour at her turned back.

The reflection in the window was what had given Peyton the heads up, and she wiped her forehead as she turned away from the stove, looking at the little girl who had frozen with her hand outstretched. After a moment's hesitation, Jenny flicked the flour anyway, and started giggling as Peyton stepped forward, grasping her around the middle as she began to tickle her, being cautious so the girl didn't fall from the chair she was standing on. Peyton had her crutches perched against the counter, and was limping back and forth from the counter to the stove as she worked, but she had taken a pain pill, so she wasn't hurting too bad.

It took another thirty minutes before Peyton set the two plates of pancakes onto the table, and her and Jenny took their seats. They ate while making jokes and talking, and Peyton focused on the day she was living for the first time since the accident. After eating, Peyton cleaned up the kitchen, with Jenny's help, which was more like a hindrence, but she wasn't going to stop the girl, and then they cleaned themselves up before heading into the living room, trying to decide what to do with their day.

Eventually they just got in Peyton's car and drove, while Peyton pointed out all the cool places in town, recounting memories from nearly all of them. When they got to the Rivercourt, Peyton decided to stop there, so they could sit on the bleachers for a while and watch the river. Jenny got bored first and turned to Peyton as she began asking questions about her. Peyton answered them as honestly as she could, and the time passed quickly. Peyton was a bit disappointed when she heard Jenny's stomach began to growl, indicating that it was lunchtime, but she quickly thought of a solution.

Considering she shouldn't be driving too much in her condition, Peyton put in a call to a friend, and she knew their lunch would arrive soon. She and Jenny continued to talk until a familiar car pulled up and a figure stepped out of it, carrying a picnic basket and a blanket. "You didn't ask for a blanket, but I thought it would be a good idea," Lucas said as he walked onto the court, spreading the blanket out in the middle. He set the basket in the middle of it and then turned to face them. "I brought sandwiches, potato salad, chips, water and there might even be some chocolate chip cookies in there for a good little girl," he added to Jenny, who perked up at the sound of cookies.

Smiling at the sight of Peyton laughing at Jenny, Lucas turned and began to walk back to his car. He didn't want to interrupt the mother-daughter bonding. "Lucas?" he heard Peyton call when he was about halfway to the car. He turned and looked at her as he continued backing away. "Don't go, please. I'm sure you've packed enough food, and it would be nice if you stayed," she surprised him by saying that. Peyton had been seeking the company of no one over the age of ten, pretty much, since the accident. He was surprised she wanted him around.

The three of them managed to fall into easy conversation, and they had a surprisingly good time as they ate their lunch. Peyton saw how good Lucas was with kids, and knew that was because of his contact with not only his little sister, but his nephew as well. She hadn't laughed or smiled so much in way too long of a time. She kept catching Lucas looking over at her with a smile, as if he was glad to see her laughing as well. For some reason, that made her even happier, but she pushed the feeling aside as she watched Lucas make faces at Jenny, causing her to giggle hysterically.

For a minute, Peyton imagined what life would be like if she had really gotten a chance with Lucas. Maybe they wouldn't have worked out, but maybe, just maybe, they would still be together. Perhaps they would be married, and instead of the two of them sitting at the Rivercourt with a child that didn't biologically belong to either of them, they would have a child of their own, with blonde hair, and striking blue eyes. Peyton couldn't help but smile at the image that was in her mind, until she realized what she was thinking. She couldn't like Lucas. He had been engaged to her best friend. They didn't get a chance.

Trying to accept that was suddenly harder than it had ever been. It seemed all she could do was look at him, thinking about how gorgeous he was, and imagining the feel of his hands on her body, as they had once been back in that hotel room when she had thought her father was dead. Her eyes drifted closed for a moment as she let the memory wash over her. She desperately wanted to lean across the blanket and crash her lips to his, just to see if he still tasted the same. She could only vaguely remember they way he had felt kissing her, and she wanted a reenactment.

The sound of a giggle brought her out of her fantasy, which was going way too fast. She was just transfering her feelings from Jake to Lucas, looking for some release to get her past this hard time. She didn't even like Lucas like that. He was just a really good, old friend. He had been there for her lately, and yeah, she had spilled her guts to him a few times, that didn't mean they were going to get married, or even start dating. She was sure he was just helping her because she was an old friend. He probably didn't even think of her like that. She had to get over the little crush that seemed to have developed.

Reaching over to tickle the little girl, Lucas noticed that Peyton had been silent for a few moments. Looking over at her, he noticed her eyes drift slowly closed, and wondered what she was thinking about. He automatically assumed it was Jake. She was probably wishing it was him here with her, instead of Lucas. But then, she had accepted Lucas's help, while he knew she was shutting Jake out. Her eyes snapped open again, and he flashed her a smile, suddenly wishing that he had chosen her all those years ago, and that they were here with a child of their own.

Shocked, Lucas wondered where the thought had come from. Sure, he had thought about what would have happened if he had gotten together with Peyton over the years, but he had loved Brooke, right? She had obviously loved Jake. No, his mind insisted, she still did love Jake. The couple was just going through a rough patch. Still, he had thought of what life would have been like with Peyton more times than he should have, but that didn't mean he loved her, did it? It didn't mean he couldn't love her either, something inside of him pointed out.

No, she was nothing more than a friend now. He had developed this crush because she was allowing him to see a side of her she had closed off to everyone else after the accident. It was nothing more than a crush, and they would only ever be friends now. That was how it had to be. He had almost married her best friend. They could never have a relationship now, could they. Not without ruining Brooke and Peyton's friendship, and he refused to do that. So he just had to ignore his attraction to her, as he had years ago. Hah, yeah right. He knew from experience that was easier said than done.

It wasn't like he could say anything to her, so he focused on talking to Jenny, as Peyton seemed to be doing. Jenny really was a cute little girl, and very easy to get along with, and make laugh. He was glad that he was getting to know her. He tried not to look at Peyton, but his gaze seemed to keep getting drawn to her. Once he looked up and their gazes met for a brief moment before Peyton looked away, biting her lip, like she always did when she was nervous. He found it somewhat comforting that she still had the same habits.

The afternoon disappeared as quickly as the morning had, and soon enough, the sun was beginning to set. The three of them took the time to watch the sun set, before packing up the picnic stuff and slowly making their way towards the two cars. Lucas was just about to ask Peyton if she wanted to do something together for dinner when Peyton spoke up. "I'd love to spend more time with you, Lucas, but I think I'm going to call the girls up so we can have dinner together and, although we're not doing anything at all wrong, I don't think we should parade around Brooke the fact that we're spending so much time together," she said, all in one breath.

Disappointed, Lucas forced himself to nod. "Yeah, of course, you're right," he said, because he knew it was better this way. He shouldn't get so attached to her, when he knew they would never actually work out. He wished it could be, more than he cared to admit, but it just couldn't. There was too much history involved, even if they had never actually gotten together themselves. And there was Brooke. Brooke would likely never speak to Peyton again if Peyton began dating Lucas, and he wouldnt ruin their relationship, not when the two best friends were just reuniting.

Sensing his disappointment, Peyton was a little surprised. Then again, she was probably wrong. Yeah, he wasn't disappointed in not being able to spend more time with Peyton, he probably just wanted to spend more time with Jenny. Everyone who met the little girl instantly loved her, and Lucas probably just wanted to spend more time with her while he could. He didn't know Peyton and Jake were divorcing, though, which did make her wonder, but she shoved the thought aside. Lucas did not want to be with her, and that was that. She sent him another wave and smile before they drove off, going their separate ways.

Peyton didn't call Brooke, Haley and Nicci when she got to the house. In fact, she didn't call them at all. She loved the three of them to death, but she had never really had any intentions of calling them. She really wanted to spend time with Jenny today, and as much as she wanted to spend more time with Lucas, and as fun as it had been, that was really why she couldn't continue to hang out with him today. She was already craving his presence, and that scared her, so she had made up an excuse to spend time with someone else.

Instead of trying to find something to cook for dinner, or going out, Peyton decided to order in. They could have gone to the Cafe or something, but Peyton was already wiped out from the day, and she needed to just rest at home. So she ordered some Chinese food, including hers and Jenny's favorites, and settled down on the couch, choosing an old movie to watch that was playing on TV. It was a kids movie, so she knew Jenny would like it, and she would be able to contemplate the mess that was her life for a while.

Silently stroking Jenny's hair, Peyton considered the facts. She had been in an accident, that had left her injured and killed her baby. She had pretty much moved out of her home, or at least she was going to, as soon as she was able to pack up her stuff. Her husband had left her. And now she was attracted to her best friend's ex-fiance. The last thing probably wasn't the worst, but it was what she concentrated on. What was she going to do about her developing feelings for Lucas? She was about to be in the middle of a divorce. She couldn't get involved with him, that was all there was too it.

Just as she made that decision, the doorbell rang, alerting her to the arrival of the delivery boy. She got up and paid for the food, and she and Jenny were just settling down on the couch when the doorbell rang again. Peyton was curious as to who would be there, but she went and answered the door anyway. She was extremely surprised to find Jake standing on the other side. He started talking before she could open her mouth. "I'm sorry I'm a little earlier than I expected to be, but I have some strange news. My lawyer can't find proof of our marriage. Not just here, but in Georgia as well. He's looking into it, though, and I'm sure it's just a misunderstanding," he blurted, clearly nervous.

The blonde was a little shocked that he was nervous in front of her. He had never been before, not really. Then she considered his words, but quickly dismissed them. They had gotten married, something was just going wrong at the records building. She didn't give it a second thought. She wondered why he had come by to tell him that, and she assumed that he wanted to spend some time with her and Jenny, maybe to see if things could ever be the same again, but he was probably too shy to ask. "Hey, you want to come in for dinner? Jenny and I are having Chinese, and I'm sure there's enough for you to have some too," she found herself saying.

For a moment Jake looked just as surprised that she had asked as she was. Then he composed herself and smiled at her. It was a smile that used to make her heart flutter. It didn't give her quite the same reaction anymore. "I'd love to," he said, and she showed him in. Jenny was happy to see Jake, and that made Peyton smile, but the smile didn't stay on her face long. She forced it a lot as the meal continued. It just wasn't the same as it used to be. There was a strain that had never been there before, and awkward silences kept falling over them, only to be broken by Jenny.

If they hadn't already known they had drifted apart, this dinner proved it. The two interacted civilly, but there was no spark there, not anymore. There wasn't as much laughter as there used to be either. In fact, Jenny had to keep up most of the conversation. It just wasn't the way one would picture a family dinner, and it had nothing to do with the meal. The conversation was off, and the tension was thick. Peyton felt her last hope for their marriage sinking as they began to clean up. She had hoped the dinner would lead to at least the beginning of reconciliation, but it didn't. It just proved that the divorce was the right thing to do.

Her afternoon with Lucas had been much more lively. She didn't want to compare the two, but she had to admit, things with Lucas were just easy. They always had been, really. There had always been something between them, a chemisty that was platonic as well as sexual, that allowed the conversation between them to never stop. The only time there had been silence between them was when he was reading and she was drawing. Otherwise, they had always found a way to fill the silence, and it had never been forced. The silences that had lingered between them had always been pleasant, never awkward.

Pushing the thought aside, Peyton sat on the couch in the living room, Jake on the opposite end, and Jenny between them, still babbling away, as if sensing what they had realized. Jake's phone rang and he answered it. His questions caused Peyton to look over in question. She cocked her eyebrow as he continued a conversation with whom she could tell was his lawyer. She didn't like the tone of his voice, and felt dread clench in her stomach. When he hung up, he looked over at her slowly, asking Jenny to leave the room. As soon as she did, Peyton asked what it was. "Apparantly," he said, meeting her gaze, "we were never legally married."

A/N: I'm back! Two months is a long time, I know, but I should be updating every week again. About this chapter, who saw that coming? I know I did, but did any of you? Are any of you still reading this? I'd really like to hear your opinions, or know if anyone is still interested at all. Let me know.

Disclaimer: I don't own anything.


	9. Ch7: Falling Over the Edge

Feeling as if she'd been hit by a ton of bricks, Peyton just blinked at Jake, trying to tell herself the words that kept playing through her head were real. "We were never married? That's ridiculous. We have a certificate. We were married in front of the city hall. How can you be telling me we were never married?" she rambled, trying to make sense of it all. She replayed the day of her wedding in her head, then flashed through the whole of her marriage. It was all a lie? It couldn't be true. It just couldn't be.

There was silence, until Jenny came bounding into the room again. "What is taking you guys so long?" she asked, then took one of each of their hands, and began pulling them toward the living room. Jake and Peyton sat on opposite ends of the couch, with Jenny between them, as they watched a movie, waiting for her to fall asleep, like she always did, with her head in Peyton's lap and her feet in Jake's, and they both contemplated the new curveball life had thrown at them.

When Peyton was relatively sure that Jenny's breathing had evened out, she brushed back her hair, leaning over so she could get a good look at the girl's face, letting out a sigh that was halfway between relief and fear as she noticed the girl was soundly sleeping. She leaned back again and continued stroking Jenny's hair as she tried to decide what to say. "I guess you'll be taking off soon, then," she finally said, unsure of what she was feeling, or how to handle the fact that she and Jake hadn't been married.

Jake looked over at her and their eyes locked, for a moment, as if each of them was trying to figure out what the other was thinking. Neither of them had any luck, really, and the eye contact became too intense for Peyton and she looked away. Jake kept his gaze on her, and ignored what she said completely. "My lawyer said that the guy who married us was a fraud, who never had a license to marry people, and our certificate was forged. I guess that means we don't have to fight over our stuff, though," he tried to make a joke, but she just sent him a horrified look. "Too soon?" he asked.

A little shocked by his callousness, Peyton nodded. "Too soon? Of course it's too soon. When is it ever the right time to joke about the fact that the person you thought you were married to for the past five years was never really your legal spouse?" she made an effort to keep her voice down, only because Jenny was sleeping on her lap. "How can you be acting like this? Like you don't care at all that we were never married? Like you couldn't even care less that our marriage is over?" she found herself asking.

His face softened for a moment, before he reigned in his emotions before he could start throwing hurtful words at her. "Of course I care that our marriage is over, Peyton. I love you, and I've loved you since our junior year of high school. I can't believe this is happening. I never thought it would end this way, you know. Even when I thought you wanted to divorce me, that was somehow better than this. That way, at least there was still proof that we had had all those good years. Now, we don't have a daughter, and I find out I never had a wife either? God, Peyton, you will never know how much I care," he told her the truth.

That hurt her more than the idea of him not caring, to be honest. She looked down at her hands, which were still stroking Jenny's hair, and then looked back up at him with tears in her eyes. "I'm sorry, Jake. Really, I am. You have no idea how much I wish I could take this all back. I wish I could wake up again, pregnant, and happily in love, but that accident changed things. It took everything away from me, and I don't blame you. I could never blame you, but I just can't be around you anymore without thinking of the little girl that could have been ours," she broke off, unable to say anything else.

There was a moment where they both just stared at each other, but Peyton couldn't even handle that. She looked away, tears still flowing down her cheeks. It took Jake only a second to scoot over and wrap his arms around her, and for a moment, Peyton pretended that they hadn't lost their daughter, that they were still happily married, with Jenny, and their new baby girl. The fantasy couldn't last long, though, because the front door opened, startling both of the adults on the couch.

By the time Nikki entered the living room, Jake and Peyton were back on opposite ends of the couch. She took one look at Peyton's tears, and Jake's posture and knew something had happened. "What's going on, guys? Jake, I figured you would be gone by now. What happened?" she asked, walking further into the room, standing next to the couch, not knowing who would need more comforting.

Wiping at her tears, Peyton sniffled, glancing quickly over at Jake to see if he was going to say anything. She realized he wasn't, but decided that this affected Nikki, too, since she was Jenny's mother, and Nikki had been the closest thing Peyton had to a best friend for the last five years. "Well, Jake called his lawyer today, in regards to our divorce," she paused, unsure if she would be able to say the words again. "Apparantly that won't be necessary, though, considering the fact that we were never married," she finally blurted out.

The words floated in the air between the three of them, but Nikki didn't know what to do. She was so shocked, she needed a moment to process this. Peyton, the woman who had become her best friend, the woman who had always stood between her and Jake, wasn't married to Jake anymore? In fact, they had never been married? She didn't know what to do, or what to feel, or anything. So she just stood there, complete and utter shock written all over her face, trying to decide who needed her most in this moment.

After careful consideration, she walked over, and picked up her daugter, looking back and forth between the blonde and the brunet. "I'm going to take her and go outside. Jake, I don't know how you got here, but if you need a ride back to Savannah, I'm probably going to need a passenger if I'm going to make it back without falling asleep," she offered him a smile, sending Peyton a sympathetic look before taking her leave, leaving the living room in silence as the two tried to figure out what to say.

With a sigh, Peyton closed her eyes and leaned her head back against the couch. It had never been this hard between her and Jake. She had never felt this much tension and she had never been afraid to tell him what she was feeling. "What happened to us, Jake? I mean, I know the obvious, but I hate that it's come to this. I hate that I don't know the next time I'm going to see you and Jenny, and I hate that I feel like this is the end. I'm scared you're going to leave tonight and we're not even going to be friends anymore. No matter what you think, I don't want that to happen," she told him, eyes still closed to keep in her tears.

Looking down at his lap, Jake took a moment to reply. He reached over and took her hand, but it wasn't a loving touch, so much as a comforting one. When one of the tears leaked out of her eye and made its way down her cheek, he gently brushed it away. "I don't want that either, Peyton, but we both know this isn't going to be easy. Being friends won't be easy for us, and I don't think I'll be able to handle it for a while. I don't ever want you to feel like you can't see Jenny, because she loves you, but I think we should just spend some time apart for a while," he said, hating the look on her face that made him feel like he was breaking her heart.

Her heart was breaking, but his was too. He hated that she couldn't trust him anymore, and a part of her knew that. So she didn't push it, even though she knew it would be a long time, if ever, before she and Jake were friends again. She knew that he needed time to heal, and so did she. Her heart wasn't the only broken one, and she had to respect that. "I guess you're right, and there's nothing left to say then," she said, closing her eyes again against the fresh pain that was washing over her. She figured she should be getting used to pain by now.

As Jake realized she was dismissing him so he wouldn't see her pain, he got that familiar urge to comfort Peyton, to do anything to make her feel better, but he knew he couldn't. He knew it would be easier in the long run, for both of them, but mostly for him, if he just left right now. He couldn't handle any back and forth, and he couldn't handle looking at her and knowing that it was his fault that their baby was dead. That it was his fault Peyton no longer trusted him, or loved him like she used to.

Almost as if sensing his thoughts, she looked up at him with her piercing green eyes. She squeezed his hand, so it was now her comforting him. "Jake, I want you to know, I don't blame you. That has nothing to do with this, and I don't want you to blame yourself, because I really don't. It just changed me. I'm not the same anymore, and I can't seem to find myself. I don't want you to think this is your fault, though. You just can't blame yourself," she said earnestly, wanting to make sure he knew she didn't blame him.

After searching her eyes for a moment, he knew the truth. She really didn't blame him. After everything, he found that amazing, but then, she was Peyton, and her compassion had always been one of the things he loved about her. He couldn't help it anymore. He leaned forward and pressed a kiss to her forehead, before standing, and dropping her hand. "I hope you find whatever you're looking for, because you're an amazingly strong person, Peyton Sawyer, and I hope you don't forget that," he said, before leaving the room.

The sound of her name really made her realize that this was real. She was no longer Peyton Jagielski anymore, and she never really had been, and she definitely would never be. She was Peyton Sawyer, a twenty-two year old who had been through a fake marriage and the end of that fake marriage. A woman who had lost two moms and two daughters, one who was biologically hers, and one who wasn't, and had an absentee father. She had been through a love triangle and losing her best friend, twice, and she had both men who had ever meant something to her.

A few seconds later, she heard the door close, and she knew he was gone, for how long she wasn't sure, but she knew it would be a while. The sound seemed so final, even more final than his last words. Suddenly all the weight of the day came crashing down on her, and she felt tired. She folded her arms across her chest and laid on the couch, her knees pulled up to her chest. She rested her head against the arm of the couch and let her eyes closed as she drifted into a dreamless sleep, to a place where she didn't have to feel the near constant pain she felt when she was awake.

Seven days later, Lucas found her still on the couch, wearing the same clothes she had been wearing the last time he'd seen her, with a blanket covering her. Larry had called him that morning, asking him to check on her, and he knew by now that she still wasn't doing well. Still, he hadn't expected this. This was way worse than he had even thought, and it made him wonder what had happened now that had made her go back over the edge. She had seemed to be doing better that day at the Rivercourt with Jenny.

Taking in her pale, sunken appearance, he decided she needed some food and sunlight, first thing. He moved closer to pick her up, noticing her smell, and decided that as soon as he got her to eat something, he was going to force her to take a shower. As it was, he was sure that she hadn't eaten in at least a week, because it appeared that she hadn't left the couch since the day he had seen her. She stirred as he pulled her into his arms, but she didn't say anything as she looked up at his face for a moment, then let her eyes drift closed again. He wasn't sure, but her grip on him might have gotten marginally tighter as her eyes closed.

Instead of heading to her kitchen, Lucas went to his truck, putting her in the passenger seat. He closed the door on her, and then pulled out his phone while he walked around to the driver's side. He talked to his mom for a couple moments, and then put his phone away as he started driving. "Hey, Peyton," he asked, gently shaking her shoulder. She had her arms crossed over her chest, like she was holding in her pain, and he noticed that that was her most common pose lately. He didn't know if she did that all the time prior to the accident, but he had a feeling she didn't.

It took her a moment to get her eyes to stay open, and then another few seconds for her to focus on him. Her vision was blurry, and her head was fuzzy. She knew she should ask where Lucas was taking her, but for some reason, she felt safe with him. She had been drifting in and out of consciousness for the past few days, spending most of the time unconscious more recently, and she was feeling weak from not getting any food or water into her system. She knew she should, she just couldn't bring herself to do it. She trusted Lucas to keep her safe, though, if only she could focus on him long enough to figure out what he was saying to her.

Glancing from the road to Peyton, he realized he hadn't heard her. He knew it was bad, if she hadn't eaten. He didn't repeat himself as he parked in front of the Cafe. He got out of the truck and ran around to the other side, opening the door for her and helping her out. She didn't last long on her feet. She wobbled, and her knees collapsed beneath her, causing him to sweep her into his arms again. "Listen to me, Peyton," he said, his mouth next to her ear. "I need you to wake up enough to eat. We need to get food into your body. I'm going to help you get past this," he promised, carrying her into the Cafe.

As soon as she saw the two blondes, Karen rushed from behind the counter, over to Lucas. "Oh my gosh, Luke. You said she was bad, but I didn't imagine this. How could she have let herself get this way?" Karen fussed over the blonde woman as Lucas sat Peyton in a booth, sliding in next to her to keep her upright. Karen disappeared for a moment, and returned with a couple plates of toast. "I figured it would be easiest to get her to keep this in her stomach. If you're right about how long it's been since she's eaten, her stomach might revolt anything, even the toast. If she can't keep this down, I want you to take her to the hospital. You probably should take her to the ER anyway," Karen said as Lucas picked up a piece of toast.

Hearing the words Karen said, Peyton managed to move away from the toast Lucas was trying to get her to take a bite of. "No! No hospitals, please," she whimpered, obviously trying to talk loudly and forcefully, but all she managed was a low whine. Her eyes were more wide and alert now, though, and he knew she hated hospitals, and was determined not to go to one. She looked into his eyes, her green gaze, which had lost so much of it's fire, begging him not to take her to the hospital.

Of course, Lucas couldn't say no to her, even if she really should go get some sustenance in the form of an IV. There was actual fear in her green eyes, though, and he could do nothing but promise not to do what he knew he should do. "Okay, Peyton, I promise, I won't take you to the ER, but you have to eat for me, okay. You have to have some toast, and you have to stay awake for me, okay?" he asked, because as soon as he said the word okay, she was already drifting out of consciousness again.

Her eyes were glazing over, but she took a bite when he held the toast in front of her, albeit, a really small bite. In the middle of chewing, her eyes drifted closed, and her jaw stopped moving. "Peyton, Peyton, sweetie, you need to swallow. Chew and swallow for me," he said, getting closer to her and putting his hand on her face. He was worried about her, worried that he was doing the wrong thing by not taking her to the ER. He was just about to get up and take her back to the truck, but her eyes opened and she began to chew again.

As Lucas tried to get Peyton to take another bite, Karen stood, unable to stand watching the blonde woman deteriorate anymore. She loved the woman like a daughter, and it killed her to see that the girl had fallen this far. She wondered if Peyton had been not eating on purpose, but she was sure that wasn't it. She couldn't imagine what it would be like to lose a child, but she had a feeling that all the care for life had been taken from Peyton when she lost her baby. Karen only hoped Lucas, or someone else, would be able to help her find it.

When she walked back to the counter, Karen noticed Brooke, who was still sitting in a booth by the door, her eyes on Lucas and Peyton. She had forgotton that Brooke was in the Cafe, and as she took in the look on Brooke's face, she looked at the two blondes, trying to see what Brooke was seeing. Looking at them in a different light, she saw the meticulous care that Lucas was giving Peyton, she saw the love in his eyes for the blonde in his arms, and she was pretty sure it had been there since their junior year. She only hoped that Brooke wouldn't get involved this time, because she wanted her son to be happy, and she knew Peyton deserved happiness.

Still, she felt for Brooke. She knew how much Brooke had loved Lucas, and she knew that Brooke would have done anything to get Lucas to look at her like that. So she grabbed her coffee pot, and walked over to Brooke's table. She refilled the coffee cup, and then took a seat next to Brooke. She didn't say a word, but she knew Brooke understood as she pulled her into a hug. Brooke hugged back, feeling the tears well up in her eyes, and she was glad that even though she couldn't have Lucas, she could always look up to Karen as a mother figure.

Back at Lucas's booth, he managed to get Peyton to eat two whole pieces of toast. The more she ate, the more she seemed able to stay awake. She seemed to gain better control of her limbs. She leaned her head on Lucas's chest and he just held her, sensing that she wasn't ready to talk. He sat with her until he noticed Brooke in the Cafe. Brooke was sitting in a booth not far from theirs, and she was watching the two of them together. He hadn't noticed her when he came in because he was too worried about Peyton. He couldn't read the look on Brooke's face.

As soon as Brooke noticed Lucas noticing her, she stood, picking up a napkin she had written something on. She strode right past their booth on the way to the door, and she dropped the note in front of Lucas, not breaking her stride once. She left the Cafe with Lucas's eyes on her, and Peyton knew exactly where he was looking. She also read the note before Lucas picked it up and tucked it into his pocket. He didn't think she noticed it, but she was a little more alert than he thought she was.

A few minutes later, he kissed her temple, shifting her so she could sit up on her own. "Hey, Peyton, I have to go to a meeting right now. Will you be okay if I drop you off at home and come back in a little bit?" he asked her, his eyes searching hers. She knew he was going to meet Brooke, that was what the note had asked. She wondered why he was lying to her, but then wondered why she was surprised. She had always been second to Brooke in Lucas's eyes, why should she expect that to change? So she nodded, and let him take her home without her saying anything about it.

Once Lucas was gone, Peyton went back to the couch, wallowing in self-pity. All she could think about was all she had lost lately. She had lost Jake, her daughter, the one girl she had come to think of as a daughter, and now Lucas, once again, to Brooke. Not that she had ever had Lucas, but she was just beginning to think that maybe she did have a chance with Lucas. He had, after all, been here for her since the accident, and he wasn't with Brooke anymore, at least, he hadn't been, until she had written him one little note. She convinced herself that, even now, Brooke and Lucas were back together, probably laughing over how weak she was.

That thought made her pounding head feel like it was going to explode, along with the pieces left of her heart. The headache had come on while Lucas was focing her to eat, and now she was not only nausous, but her head felt like someone was going at it with a sledgehammer, each pound harder than the last. She was caught off-guard by the phone ringing, making her head hurt worse. She found it only to stop the shrill ringing, and answered with a weak hello. She listened to the voice on the other end for a few moments before dropping the phone in horror.

Nausea swept over her as the new information hit her. Her father, once again lost at sea? Only, this time they found and IDed a body. She hadn't even gotten to say 'I love you' when he left, and that thought made the puke come up her throat. She slapped her hand over her mouth and ran to the bathroom, but both pieces of toast made a comeback before she could reach the toilet. This was the last straw. In her eyes, she had lost everything she had in the too short a time to recover from it. Not to mention the pounding in her head was getting worse.

After she finished dry-heaving over the toilet, she stood and went to the medicine cabinet. She had no intention of dying, but she wanted to get rid of the pain she was feeling. She poured a handful of every type of pain medicine in the medicine cabinet, and downed the whole handful at once, dry swallowing them and wincing at the taste of them in her mouth, mixed with the vomit. She wanted to go back downstairs, but the pain in her head was blinding her now, so she curled into a ball on the floor of the bathroom, planning on waiting for the pain meds to work, but all she did was slowly let the consciousness slip away from her.

A/N: So, I decided to update on Mondays from now on, partly because I think this is a really good chapter and partly because I wanted to talk about the new episode that was on tonight. First, let's talk about the chapter. Peyton drew into herself once she realized she had never been married, and she couldn't find the desire to do anything other than lay on the couch. She's hit rock bottom now because she's sure she lost everything, including Lucas and, now, her father. I promise, this will be as low as she goes, because she will get help, and I should make you guess about whether or not she's going to OD and die before anyone finds her, but I just don't have the heart to even pretend I'm going to kill Peyton. What do you think the note from Brooke is about? Well, tell me what you think, and you'll find out next Monday.

Okay, moving on to tonight's episode of One Tree Hill. If you haven't seen it yet, don't read this part of the authors note. May I just say at first that I don't think Dan and Rachel make a good couple. I really don't care for that idea from Mark, at all. I also want to say that I miss Peyton and Lucas and Sawyer. I really really hope that he brings them back for the finale, at least because, if the rumors I've heard are correct, and this is the last season, I would hate for Leyton to have been in it every season previously only to not be in the last season at all. I still can't believe they took out two of the members of the core five, although, I am glad that Peyton didn't die in the season six finale. About tonight's episode in particular, I can not believe Millie is snorting coke. What is up with her? She's completely changed and I don't like the new her. I feel bad for Brooke for not being pregnant as well. I don't really like Alex, but I guess she brings drama to Brulian, so I guess I can accept that. Jamie is sooo cute in this season. The little talk he had with Nathan about forgiving Dan makes him seem a little wise beyond his years, though. He is only seven, after all. I think it is time I stop going on and bring this horribly long A/N to a close.

If you have any comments, concerns or ideas, about my chapter or about the actual show, I would love to hear them. Thanks so much for the reviews for the last chapter. It's good to know people are still interested in reading this. I hope you continue to let me know what you think.

Disclaimer: I don't own anything involving One Tree Hill.


	10. Ch8: Finally Getting Closure

After Lucas dropped Peyton off, he went to meet Brooke, as she had requested in her note. He didn't plan on spending much time with her before going to pick up some groceries and then going back to Peyton's, to make sure she took a shower, and ate in a little while. He just was curious to see what Brooke wanted. He pulled up at the Rivercourt, as per Brooke's suggestion, and found her sitting on a bench, looking out at the river with a peaceful look on her face. She didn't move as he walked up to her and sat down.

The longer Brooke stayed silent, the more he wondered if she even realized he was there, or if she was so into her own world, she didn't notice him at all. Then she spoke, making him realize she had been aware of him all along. " I was an idiot, Lucas, and I'm sorry," she began, and he was sure he knew what was coming, but she didn't give him a chance to interrupt. "If I could take it all back, I would, at least, I think I would. It's hard to tell what I would do, even knowing what I know now," she said, still not looking at him.

This time he managed to get a word in before she could continue. "Listen, Brooke, I love you, and a part of me always will, but I just don't think I'm in love with you anymore. I don't feel the same way as I used to, and I don't have time for your mind games, when Peyton's on a ride straight to rock bottom, so can you get to the point, please, because I have other things to do," he didn't mean to be harsh, but the one thing he had always disliked, was Brooke's mind games.

Still, Brooke didn't look at him, even though she could feel him getting frustrated. She felt that he owed her this much. "We were going to get married here, Lucas. We were supposed to have our wedding, at sunset, staring over this river. I was supposed to get a gorgeous white dress, of Clothes over Bros design, of course, and we were supposed to declare our love for each other in front of our family and friends," she paused, and he wondered where she was going with this.

There was a tear rolling down Brooke's cheek, but it was on the side opposite Lucas, so he couldn't see it. "Then your precious Peyton gets in an accident, and I knew as soon as I got the phone call that you would jump to her rescue, like always. I've always loved Peyton, and that's the truth, but I've always been jealous of her too, at least since you came along, anyway, because I can see every time she's in trouble, you can't help but save her, and I always have to wonder, who's going to save me? I deserve someone who will never hesistate to save me, Lucas, not someone who's always saving another woman," she closed her eyes.

There was silence as Lucas tried to see things from Brooke's side. He realized how she must be feeling, but she opened her eyes and pierced him with a pain-filled look that touched him the the core and sent the words dying in his throat. "So, I'm giving you up, Lucas. I'm letting you save the girl you've always wanted, and I'm moving on. I'm leaving Tree Hill, and I'm going to let her have you, becuase I think you guys deserve each other, and I can finally admit that," she said, not in a mean way, but it was obvious she was hurting.

He had never wanted to hurt her, but that was what he always seemed to do. Before he could reach out to her, though, she shook her head, wiping away at her tears. "No, I'm not yours to save, Lucas, and I think it would be best if you get back to saving her, and leave me alone for a while. I need time to get past this. I'm moving to Savannah, to stay with a friend for a while, and I probably won't be back to Tree Hill for a long time, if I do come back. There are too many memories here, and I can't bear to be around them now," she stood off the bench, but he was still speechless.

For a moment she stood there, staring at the river, as if imprinting it into her memory for the last time, then she looked at him again, more composed than she had been. "I won't be seeing you, but I do hope you can fix things for Peyton. You're right about her downward spiral, and she probably won't make it out on her own. I only hope you can save her, and that she's still willing to be saved," she said before turning on her heel, not giving him a chance to say his goodbye.

It was almost a good thing, because he didn't know what to say to her anyway. He still believed that Brooke would change the world one day. He had believed that in high school, and from the way she had handled things just made him believe it all the more. She was a strong woman, and she was going to make one man very lucky one day. It just wouldn't be Lucas, and he really realized that right then. He stayed on the bench for a long time, thinking about Brooke, and knowing she had been right.

After a while his thoughts moved to the blonde, and he knew Brooke was right about that too. Lucas would never be able to let her go, and he felt bad for hurting Brooke so much, but he knew it was partly Brooke's fault as well, for refusing to see the truth, just like he did. He had never stopped thinking about Peyton over the years, wondering what was going on with her, but he trusted her with Jake, knowing that Jake was the only other person he could trust her with.

Except now he knew she didn't trust herself with Jake, and she needed Lucas to help her, even if she didn't realize it. He left the Rivercourt and went to pick up some groceries before heading back to her house, intent on cooking her some food, and nursing her back to health, no matter what it took. He was going to save her, and he didn't want to let her down. He had done that during their junior year, when he had chosen Brooke over her, and he didn't want to do that again.

When he got to her house, he walked in, the door being open like it always had been. He went to the living room, but all he found was the phone, off the hook, and that immediately set off his sensors. He called Peyton's name, getting no reply as he walked through the house, in the hallway, he saw some vomit on the floor, and he followed the trail, getting more worried by the moment as he called out her name again. He followed the trail to the downstairs bathroom, and opened the door slowly, afraid about what he'd find.

It took him a moment for the image to make sense in his mind, and he had to take in each piece of the puzzle separately before putting them together. He took note of the open medicine cabinet, the multiple open bottles of pills, all the different sized and shaped pills littering the sink and ground and, finally, Peyton, curled in the fetal position on the floor, looking like she wasn't even breathing.

As soon as the pieces fit together in his mind, he jumped into action, first kneeling by her and checking her pulse, putting his face next to hers, grateful when he felt a faint pulse and light, erratic puffs of breath hitting his cheek.. Then he grabbed up all the different pill bottles, shoving them in his pockets before lifting her up and running towards his car. He knew he promised not to take her to the hospital, but that was one promise he was going to have to break.

From the ER, once they had swept in and taken her away from him, Lucas called Haley and his mom, confessing what he imagined had happened, and admitting he had no idea what had been the final thing to push her over the edge. Haley, Nathan and Karen arrived right as the nurse was leaving, and he had to tell them that they had pumped Peyton's stomach and the doctor was going to come out and see him soon. He knew the questions would be coming, but right now what he needed was a hug from his mom.

After composing himself, he collapsed into a chair, Haley sitting on one side of him, while Karen sat on the other. He just couldn't believe this had happened, and he couldn't understand why she had done this. He also couldn't be sure she was okay until he saw it with his own eyes, so he was waiting on pins and needles for the doctor to come into the waiting room, so he could hear from the doctor himself that she was okay, and then beg to see her.

The doctor came out and four worried people were soon surrounding him, but it was Lucas whom he spoke to. "Do you know why she did this, Mr Scott?" he asked first, and Lucas shook his head, wishing he did know. He had already told them about the car accident and what he knew about what had happened since, but he also had said she had seemed mentally stable when he left her at home. "Well, we're going to have to keep her here on watch for at least 72 hours before we can let her go. She's still sleeping now, so we can only allow one person to go see her. The rest will have to wait until visiting hours tomorrow, which are from noon to eight at night," he said before leaving, promising to get a nurse to lead whoever was going back to Peyton's room.

The others agreed to allow Lucas to go back to Peyton's room, and promised they would be back tomorrow before leaving the hospital, just as a nurse came up to Lucas to lead him to Peyton's room. The sight of Peyton, looking sunken, with big black circles under her eyes, and lackluster hair and a pale complexion, made him renew his vow to himself. He was going to help her get through whatever she was going through, no matter what it took, and he wasn't going to abondon her again.

Sitting in the chair next to her bed, he stroked her hair, kissing her forehead. "Peyton, I don't know why you did it, but I never want you to feel whatever it is you were feeling when you felt the need to take your life again. I want to be here for you forever, and I was so scared when I saw you on the ground. I thought you were dead, and if you had been, a part of me would have died with you. I want to see you smile again, Peyton. I want to see your green eyes filled with the fire that used to be there, and I want to always be here for you. You can always talk to me, and I'm never going to stop saving you, as long as you let me. I guess I'm saying I love you, Peyton Sawyer. I'm in love with you, and I need you to hold on, okay?" he questioned, leaning over to kiss her forehead.

Of course, he wasn't expecting a response, so he was surprised when he pulled back, and saw a flash of green before her eyes closed again. There was no other movement and for a moment, he thought he had just been seeing things, that his desire to see those green eyes had caused him to imagine them, but then they drifted halfway open, meeting his gaze. "Really?" she could only rasp out the one word, because her throat was sore and dry from the stomach pumping, but he understood that she was asking for confirmation in what he'd just said.

Relief flooded him at the sight of her green eyes, and he nodded, taking her hand and bringing it to her lips. She lifted the corners of her mouth in the ghost of a smile, and her eyes drifted closed again. For the time being, she started to feel something other thatn complete and utter dispair. She felt a hope that, with Lucas's help, she could climb out of the darkness and start living again. She only hoped that her newfound hope didn't turn out to be unfounded. She wanted to be okay again, and she really wanted Lucas to be at her side.

As she drifted off into the land of the unconscious again, Lucas got more comfortable in the chair, planning to spend every hour she had to spend in the hospital with her, because he knew how much she hated the hospital. As he rested his hand on her stomach and his head resting on his other arm, he wondered if she would even remember waking up this time, if she would remember what he said to her, about her. He wondered if he wouldn't prefer it if she didn't remember all that he had said.

LP~LP~LP~LP~LP~LP~LP~LP~LP~LP~LP~LP~LP~LP~LP~LP

By the next day, Peyton was awake and eating solid foods. She was still hooked up to the IV, though, because she needed to build her strength. The doctors had decided that she could leave after two days of observation, only if she saw a counselor first, and the counselor said it was agreed to that, and she would be meeting with one the following morning. She was currently sitting up in bed, still looking weak an d pale, but considerably better. Lucas was next to her in a chair, and they were sitting in silence, neither one of them sure how to bring up the topic they knew they needed to talk about.

Finally, Lucas could stand the silence no more. "Peyton, I want you know you can talk to me about anything. I'm not here to judge you, I just want you to get better. I want to help you get better. You can't believe how hard it is for me to sit here, knowing there's nothing I can do to make things better for you, when I would do anything for you," he stopped himself from continuing because, upon awakening this morning, Peyton hadn't given any clue that she remembered what he said the first time she woke up.

Of course, the words were still echoing in Peyton's mind, three in particular, but she wasn't sure she could believe them, and she didn't want to give him a chance to take them back, so she wouldn't bring it up. She knew he meant what he had just said, and she reached over, looking at him. "Lucas, you really have no idea how much you are helping, just by being here," she paused, afraid to continue, but knowing she needed to. "I wasn't intended to kill myself. I just wanted the pain to go away," she broke off again, and Lucas scooted closer, waiting for her to speak.

Glad that he didn't interrupt, Lucas's presence gave Peyton the courage to go on. "When you dropped me off, I had a pounding headache. It was making me nausous, and I literally felt like my head was spliting in two. Before I could go take a couple aspirin, I got a phone call. It appears my dad's boat has gone missing again, and they found a body near where it was last seen. The body had a wallet on it, and in that wallet was my dad's ID. It's him, Lucas, he's gone, really truly gone," she began to cry.

Wanting to do more, Lucas moved to sit on the edge of her bed, wrapping her in his arms, but still saying nothing, because there was nothing to say. There was nothing to say to fix this, and he was sure she wouldn't believe it if he said it was going to be okay. "I guess I just felt like everything was being taken from me. First my daughter, then the home and life I've been living for the past five years. Even my car was taken in that accident, and you know what that Comet meant to me," she paused, knowing that wasn't the point, but she was stalling what she had to say next.

Rubbing her back, he waited for her to continue, wondering if he was going to find out what happened a week ago, when she laid on that couch and decided not to get up again. "Then, last week, Jake told me he wanted a divorce, following that by telling me that we were never married. Our who marriage wasn't real, and that hurt more than I thought it could. Then there was yesterday, and pile on the phone call about my dad, I just wanted my headache to go away, so I took some pain pills. I didn't mean to take so many, but I'm so tired of feeling pain," she sobbed into his chest.

It took Lucas a moment to think through what she said. He had to wrap his mind around the fact that she had Jake had never been legally married, before he could realize that she was talking about something else too. "Wait, what else happened?" he asked, and she blinked up at him, as if she had said too much, or she didn't know what he was talking about. "You said, 'Then there was yesterday,' and then added what happened to your dad, so what happened yesterday before the phone call?" he clarified, honestly curious. The only thing that he could think of that could have happened to her would be something involving him, because he was the only person in contact with her, as far as he knew.

Biting on her lip, she looked up at him, realizing the mistake she made. She hadn't meant to admit that to him, but then, she decided, he had admitted his feelings to her, she might as well do the same for him. "Okay, I have to admit, I was jealous of Brooke. I mean, here you were, helping me, but as soon as she leaves you a note to meet her, you drop me off at my house and go off to meet her. I guess I just kind of realized you'll always put her first, which is fine, you know, because you were engaged to her, of course," she tried to make it sound like she wasn't hurt by it.

There was a moment of silence. "I didn't know you saw that," he finally said, but she couldn't tell what he was thinking from that. If she could have, she would have gotten off the bed and turned so he couldn't see her face, but as it was, all she could do was look down at her hands. "Peyton," he said, tilting her chin so he could look at her face. "Brooke wanted to tell me that she's moving to Savannah, to move on with her life, because I've always wanted to save you, and I don't ever save her, apparantly. I told her that was true, and I don't love her the same way I once did," he told the blonde in his arms.

For a moment, Peyton really couldn't believe it. That made her feel a lot better than he would ever know. "Well, if you want to save me, I could definately use your help. I need you, Lucas, I don't think I can get out of this hole on my own," she buried her face in his chest again, tears flowing down her cheeks still as she thought about how far she had fallen in just a matter of weeks. She felt like she was drowning and everyone else had abondoned her, except for the blond guy next to her, who was offering her a life preserver.

Holding her tightly against him, with one hand at the back of her neck and the other arm wrapped around her back, Lucas took a few deep breaths, letting her cry, because he knew she probably needed it. He didn't know how he was going save her, but he wouldn't stop until she was okay again. "Don't forget, Peyton,, I'm not the only one here for you. My mom, and Haley and Nathan all came to the hospital when I called them last night, and they all want to be here for you too. We're all going to get you back to normal, together," he said, assuring her, and maybe, just maybe, she could try to believe him.

A/N: So, ya'all seemed excited to figure out what happened to Peyton, and what Brooke wanted to say to Lucas. So, please, let me know if it lived up to what you were expecting. Reveiew, please, if you have any comments, ideas, criticisms or anything.

Disclaimer: I don't own anything.


	11. Ch9: Babysitting Peyton

A few days later, Peyton was home in her bed, while Lucas fixed her breakfast. She had had a shower in the hospital, and she had been forcing herself to take showers everyday since, because she knew she'd have to start working on the small things first, if she wanted to get her life together again. She was a little worried, though, because Lucas was going to have to leave her today, for the first time since she'd taken the pills, and she was scared of being without him.

For the most part, he had spent every minute by her side, except when he was cooking for her, or when one of them were in the shower. Of course, she knew he had his own life, and he couldn't be with her constantly, but she had gotten used to his presence the past few days, and when he was with her she almost felt normal again. Although, she didn't know if that was his doing, or the pills the doctor had prescribed her, but she had a feeling at least half of it was just Lucas.

When she had seen the counselor at the hospital, she had Lucas by her side, and she managed to open up a bit. At least, she said enough for the doctor to tell her that she was clinically depressed, and to prescribe her an anti-depressant. She really hated the fact that it had come down to uppers to making her feel better, but, as Lucas said, if that was what it took, then that was what it took. He tried to tell her she probably wouldn't have to be on them forever, but with the way she felt when she was off of them, she wasn't so sure.

Breaking her out of her thoughts, Lucas entered the room, carrying a tray. He set it on her lap, then went to the other side of the bed, so he could sit next to her on it. Though she wouldn't mention it to him, she had come to think of it as his side of the bed. She was on the side she used to sleep on in high school, and he always sat on the other side. He had even taken to sleeping with her at night. Nothing had happened, he hadn't even kissed her yet, but still, she felt comforted by his presence, especially when she was trying to go to sleep.

As she looked at the food, she didn't want to eat, but she would, of course, because Lucas also said she was never going to get better if she didn't eat. She knew it wasn't that simple, but, once again, it was the little things that she had to start with. So she picked up the fork and put a bite of the french toast he had made into her mouth. She had to admit, she couldn't really taste it, nothing had any real taste anymore, but still, she smiled at him like she could taste it.

As soon as she had finished as much as she could stomach, Lucas handed her the little pill she needed to take with the last of her apple juice. She grimaced before putting it in her mouth and swallowing it, allowing the rest of the juice to coat her throat as the pill went down. He leaned over and kissed her forehead before getting to his feet, taking the tray with him. "I'm going to leave as soon as Haley gets here, but I'll be back just as soon as I can, okay?" he told her for probably the twentith time that past hour.

Instead of getting frustrated with his constant reassurances, she felt, well, reassured. She was glad to know he was coming back and, honestly, she was kind of glad that Haley would be here while he was gone. Even if she couldn't be around him, she was glad to know that someone would be there. She knew she would get tired of basically being babysat eventually, but she knew for now she would have to deal with it. "Thank you, Lucas," she said, giving him a smile.

For a moment he just stared at her, amazed at how far she'd come in so few days, and for a moment he wasn't overwhelmed by how far they had to go, he was just glad that he got to spend all this time with her. "You are so amazing Peyton. Really, you are, and you're going to realize it one day. You're going to change the world. You've already changed mine," he admitted, the words coming out of his mouth before he could think about it.

They just stared at each other for a moment, both of them knowing they were in love with the other one, but neither of them able to say it, both of them telling theirselves that it would be too complicated to start a relationship right now, that they just had to be friends. The tension in the room quickly turned things awkward, though, and Lucas quickly retreated, before he could do something like kiss Peyton, and possibly ruin all the progress she'd made.

As Lucas was finishing the dishes, the doorbell rang. He called that he would get it, even though they both knew that, and headed for the door, knowing it was Haley. His petite brunette best friend had a cheery smile plastered on her face, but he could see the worry in her eyes that she was trying to mask. "Hales, she's not going to try to off herself while you're here. She's on her anti-depressants, and while she's on them, she's almost normal. She just needs to take one step at a time and try to get out of this hole she's fallen into. Treat her normally," he said.

Letting out a small sigh of relief at Lucas's first statement, she nodded, knowing that he was right. Treating Peyton like some mental patient would help no one. Besides, she missed the woman she had once called one of her best friends. She wanted to treat her that way. "You're right. That is why I brought Jamie. I thought he would cheer her up, since she always seems to make me feel better when I'm down, and he seemed to be doing the same for her," she said as she stepped past Lucas and into the house, Jamie following behind her.

The little boy bounded into the house. "Uncle Lucas," he shouted, launching himself into Lucas's arms. The boy caught him offguard, but Lucas managed to not let him fall. "Hey, Jimmy-Jam, you be good for your mom and your Aunt Peyton, okay? I'm trusting you here," he said to the boy as he set him down. Jamie looked up at Lucas and made a circular motion over his head, indicating that he would be an angel before he ran off into the house.

Sighing, Lucas watched after the boy for a moment, before shaking his head and returning his attention to Haley. "I'm going to go up and say goodbye to Peyton, and then she's all yours. I'm just going to go to my meeting, then stop by my house and grab some things before coming back. I'm running out of clothes that you brought me, and I need to check my mail and stuff," he said, noticing the look that passed over her face. "What?" he asked, knowing she was about to tell him something he might not want to hear.

With big eyes that were trying to play innocent, Haley looked over at her best friend. "How long do you plan on staying, Lucas?" she asked, knowing he didn't have a concrete answer. His look told her 'as long as it takes.' She let out a slow breath before just telling him what was on her mind. "I know she needs you, and you don't mind being here, but you can't stay here forever. You have a life, and a job, and she'll never get fully better if you act as her crutch," she said, not trying to be harsh, but telling the truth.

Rolling his eyes, he didn't even bother to really listen to what she was saying. "Listen, Haley, I know I can't be here forever, but I can be here now, and that's what I plan on doing. She's feeling all alone and I'm not going to abondon her. I'm not coddling her, I'm helping her, and I'm going to save her this time. I'm not going to lose her again," he broke off, thinking of how he was after she moved to Savannah, and thinking of how his heart practically stopped beating when he heard of her accident.

Nodding, she knew exactly where his mind went. she remembered the first couple weeks around her second wedding, right after Peyton left. He had been out of it all the time, and she could tell even then that he was in love with the blonde, but one day he seemed to get over it, and he pushed himself into his relationship with Brooke, and all seemed to be fine. She realized now that he just buried his feelings for Peyton, and had tried to pretend they weren't there.

So, she really could understand why he was so adamant about this. He felt that he had lost her once, and he didn't want to lose her again. She remembered the way she felt when she thought she had lost Nathan, after her tour, and she didn't want her best friend to feel like that. She only hoped that Peyton felt the same way back about him, and she hoped that he could help her, because she had a feeling that if he couldn't help Peyton, he would get lost too. "Just be careful," she finally said.

Like she had moments ago, he nodded, and then made his way up the stairs. He kind of did get what she was saying, but there was nothing he wouldn't do for that blonde upstairs, and he would do anything to keep from losing her again, even if that meant he couldn't hold her, or tell her he loved her like he wanted to. He would have to hide his feelings from her the best he could, and just be there for her until she got better. Maybe then they could be something more, but not before. He wouldn't rush her, and this time he was going to wait for her.

Knocking on the door when he reached it, the first thing he noticed was that she was out of bed. He stepped further into the room, and noticed she was standing in front of her records, pulling a few out and putting some back, but making a pile with ones she approved of. She looked over at him and shot him a deer-in-the-headlights look for a moment before regaining her confidence. "I figure you're going to make me stay up here, but I figured since Jamie is with Hales, I could give him a lesson on good music," she said with a hesitant look.

It was clear she was worried he was going to scold her for getting out of bed, and he kept his face expressionless as he stepped forward, glancing at her pile of records. He shook his head. "Nope, Peyton, I'm afraid you can't do that," he said, then he picked up one of the records as her face fell. "Because a good music lesson does not include the Cure. I'm sorry," he grinned at her as she snatched the record back before he could toss it in the trash.

Hitting him lightly with the record now in her hands, she stuck her tongue out at him. "I don't know how you can't like the Cure. They are so amazing, and if you don't think so, you know less about music than I thought you did," she teased back, setting the record back on her pile before turning back to him. He was almost as surprised as she was that she was teasing him. "I promise not to overdo it. I'll just sit here in bed and listen to some good music with my favorite boy and his mother," she said.

Sticking his bottom lip out in a mock-pout, he crossed his arms across her chest, which she was currently doing as well, but her movement was subconsious. "I thought I was your favorite boy," he pretended to whine, causing her to laugh, which was exactly the effect he intended. His posture also caused her to lower her arms, which was also what he wanted her to do. They had talked about it some, and now every time she did it, he imitated her, and it caused her to stop.

Shaking her head, she stepped closer to him. "Well, you were my favorite guy," she stressed the word for emphasis, "but I guess if you're going to whine and pout like a little boy, I'll have to consider you one, and I'm sorry, but you still fall behind Jamie in that category," she teased, feeling so good because they were able to banter. It had been a long time since she had bantered with anyone, and no one could respond to her teasing like Lucas.

As she came even closer, he lowered his arms and stopped pouting. "Well, don't tell Hales, but you are most definately my favorite girl, and you most definately come before Lily as well," he said, in all seriousness, their locked gazes causing them to notice nothing else in the room as the tension mounted again. Lucas found himself leaning closer to her, wanting to kiss her perfect lips as he noticed her gaze on his lips. They almost made contact, until Haley cleared her throat, breaking the spell that had fallen over the two blondes.

The brunette came into the room, sending a mock glare at Lucas. "Hey, when did I get bumped to second on your list? I'm supposed to be number one, man," she pretended to be upset with him. She crossed her arms over her chest and stuck out her tongue at Lucas, while Jamie came into the room, bounding over to Peyton to give her a hug. Peyton immediately greeted the little boy, overexagerrating her emotions to pretend the moment between her and Lucas hadn't just happened.

Sending Haley a look of thanks, he responded to her mock-anger. "Hey, forget number two, Haley, you're like number four. You come after Peyton, Lily and my mom. Heck, you even come behind that cute little girl in Jamie's class on the days you annoy me," he teased, before deciding to take his leave. He said a final goodbye to everyone and avoided Peyton's gaze before slipping out of the room and heading for the front door.

Once they heard the front door close, and Lucas's truck drive away, Peyton began playing her records, telling Jamie the story of how she got each one, and answering his questions when he had them. She knew Haley was watching her, wanting an explanation for what had just happened, but she honestly didn't know what had happened. She had wanted so badly to kiss Lucas that, for a moment, she had almost lost her control. She knew she couldn't allow that to happen again.

After a little while, they made lunch, and set Jamie up in the living room playing video games while they watched from the couch. Since Jamie was so engrossed in the game, it gave Haley a chance to give Peyton the interrogation they both knew was coming. "Just get it over with, ask your questions and I'll try to give you the answers," she sighed as the two women sat on the couch, pretending to watch Jamie play the game.

Haley was quiet for a minute, but decided to not even pretend she didn't want to ask questions. She had been watching Peyton carefully all day, trying to figure out what was going on through her mind. "How do you feel about Lucas?" she asked, catching the blonde off-guard, as she had figured she would. Peyton had been expecting a question about her mental health, but Haley was more worried about the mental health of her best friend.

For a moment, Peyton couldn't say anything, because she had honestly expected Haley to question why she had done what she did, or anything similar to that subject. The last thing she had expected to be questioned about was her feelings for Lucas, but she could see where Haley was coming from. She didn't know what to say, though. Just as she was about to open her mouth and give some vague answer, Haley cut her off. "Peyton, don't give me some BS answer about how you appreciate his friendship. I know that. I want to know how you truly feel about him," she said, giving her a no-nonsense tone of voice.

That made Peyton pause again, to reconsider her answer. She really didn't know what to say. She loved him, yes. She was in love with him, yes. She also knew he was in love with her. She just didn't know how to make things uncomplicated. "Look, Haley, things are complicated. He just got out of an engagement with Brooke, who was supposed to be my best friend, and I just got out of a marriage that was tecnically never legal. I don't know what's going to happen now," she said, trying to avoid admitting how she really felt.

The brunette just sent Peyton a look that said she knew exactly what she was trying to do. Haley knew that Peyton was still avoiding the topic, and she wasn't going to let her off that easy. "None of that answered my question. I know how he feels about you. He's felt the same way since the eighth grade, even if he didn't always acknowledge it. Now I want to know how you feel about him. I want to know if I can trust you with him, because the last thing I want is to see either of you hurt," she said.

Blowing a piece of hair out of her eyes, and then biting her lip, Peyton considered what Haley said. "Yes, I love him, okay? Is that what you want to hear? I am in love with Lucas Scott, and I have been head over heels for him since junior year. Even when he chose Brooke over me, I loved him, and even though I loved Jake, I was still in love with Lucas. I have been and always will be in love with Lucas Scott, and I don't think I would stop it, even if I could, and I can't. I've tried," she tried to joke, but they both realized she was completely serious.

On the TV screen, something blew up and they both cheered for something, although neither of them really knew what. Jamie got excited, so they got excited for him. It was a few minutes before Haley spoke again. "Then it'll all work out," she said finally, causing Peyton to look at her sharply. "If you love him like you say you do, and he loves you like I know he does, then it'll all work out for you two. True love always works out in the end," she clarified. Peyton didn't know what to say, so she didn't say anything to that.

Not too long after that, Lucas arrived, and Haley and Jamie left the house, Haley giving him a pat on the arm as she left and sending him a look that let him know she knew something he didn't know. He didn't ask, though, because he knew she wouldn't tell him. Well, that, and, he really wanted to see Peyton. So he just went inside and started looking for the blonde, finally locating her in her room, with a record playing, as per usual.

The smile that lit up her face when she saw him made it all feel worth it. It made his whole day brighter and he knew that if he could see that smile every day of his life, he would never get tired of it. He would never get tired of her, he knew, and he couldn't wait until the day when he could tell her just how much she meant to him, but he knew that if it was meant to be, it would be, and he was sure it was meant to be. So he would just have to wait, and take it one day at a time, until she got better.

As she watching him approach, Peyton knew that she would never get tired of the feelings he inflicted in her at just the sight of him, and she knew that though she was scared right now of getting into a relationship, Haley's words gave her hope that it would all be okay one day. Lucas would make it okay, and one day they'd have their time, but for right now, she was just going to focus on one day at a time, and trying to get the rest of her life in place first.

**A/N: **_First off, let me say that I am super duper sorry. I really meant to update long before now, but I am having computer issues. I need a new one, really, because my internet decided it didn't want to work, but I don't think I'll get a new one any time soon, so I'll have to settle for fixing my internet…somehow. Anyway, onto the chapter comments. I thought I would add some Paley friendship in this chapter, and I had Jamie in there because I love him. So, Lucas and Peyton are getting closer together. I have some major plans with them. You all will find out soon enough. I also have some plans for Jake. He's not completely gone yet. He will be in and out throughout the whole fic, I think. Same with Nikki and Brooke. Anyway, let me know what you think, please, please, please. I will resort to begging. _

**Disclaimer: **_I don't own anything related to One Tree Hill._


	12. Ch10: Picking Up The Pieces

_**A month later, found Peyton and Lucas still in much the same situation. He was still staying with her when he could during the day, and leaving her with Haley, Nathan or Karen when he had to leave the house. He was still sleeping in the same bed as her when they went to bed, and neither of them had confessed their feelings to the other. She did seem to be doing better in the day-by-day, though. They had gone to the Rivercourt yesterday, and she was eating all her meals without complaint.**_

_**It was one Sunday when she decided she needed to take another step in the direction of moving on with her life. She wanted to go get her things from the house in Savannah. Alone. Her only problem was how to present this idea to Lucas in a way that would make him say yes. She wasn't sure how she was going to do it, but she had decided that it would happen today. She thought about it all morning long, and finally decided to just tell him what she planned on doing. She could drive on her own now. She could just go.**_

_**Currently, he was sitting in the living room, playing a board game with his little sister. She had gone back to work at the Cafe this week, as soon as her cast his come off, but it was her day off, and Lucas was babysitting his little sister today, because he had nothing to do, and he thought it would be good for the three of them to hang out today. Peyton had to admit that she loved the tiny brunette. She almost reminded her of Jenny a couple of years ago. Jenny was also stubborn and extremely cute. Lily was also all Karen, though, and you could definitely see the Keith in her.**_

_**With a smile, she entered the living room and took a seat in a chair opposite them. She had been cooking lunch while they had played their game, and she was finished with lunch now. "Hey, Lils, why don't you go wash up for lunch, okay, and you two can finish your game after we eat. I promise, I won't allow Lukey to cheat while you're washing up," she promised when Lily hesitated. Lily accepted Peyton's promise, and bounded from the room. Peyton sighed as she watched the small girl go. **_

_**From his spot on the couch, Lucas watched Peyton. He knew she had something to say, so he decided to just wait for her to say it. She looked down at her hands and bit her bottom lip. "Listen, Lucas, I've thought about this a lot, and my counselor agrees with me," she began. He waited, wondering if he was going to like what she had to say. She looked up at him, her green eyes imploring. "I need to go to Savannah and pick up my stuff," she decided to just tell him, and wait for his reaction.**_

_**Of course, his reaction was to say no. She saw that in his face, and so she continued. "I need to do this, Lucas, and I need to do this on my own. I miss Jenny, even though I've talked to her on the phone, and Nikki has brought her to see me. I need the rest of my stuff, too, if I'm really going to be living here, I need my old stuff, to make it more like normal. My leg is healed now, and my counselor really thinks that this will be good for me. I'll be fine, I promise," she said, looking down at her lap again.**_

_**After taking a moment to think it over, Lucas was ready to give his answer, but Lily came back down the stairs, so they got up and went to the dining room, to eat lunch. They talked and laughed like normal, but Lucas was quieter than normal, and Peyton knew he was thinking over the whole situation. As soon as Luly finished eating, she wanted to go back to her game with Lucas, but he told her to go in the living room and watch some T.V for a few minutes and Peyton knew she was going to get her answer.**_

_**The two of them began to do the dishes, with Peyton washing and rinsihg and Lucas drying, since Peyton's old house didn't have a dish washer. He dried a few dishes in silence before he decided he couldn't take it anymore. "Okay, Peyt, you can go. I understand that you need to do this," he said, then changed the subect, letting her know it was closed. "So, have you called your brother yet?" he asked, referring to the note she had found from Ellie in one of her records, which was years old, and said she had a brother.**_

_**Shaking her head, she bit her lip as she rinsed another dish and handed it off without looking at him. She was nervous about calling the number, because she wasn't sure it even worked anymore, and she wasn't sure that he would accept her. She wasn't sure it would be good to let a new person in her life right now either, but both the counselor and Lucas thought it was a good idea. She just wasn't convinced, but she promised in the last session with her counselor that she would.**_

_**FLASHBACK**_

_**"So, Peyton," the redheaded woman said as she studied the blonde. "Let's talk about the note I know you found. Have you called your brother yet?" the counselor asked, and Peyton sheepishly shook her head. Making a tsking noise, the counselor made a note on her clipboard. "You don't know what's going to happen unless you put yourself out there, Peyton, you know that. Tell me, why haven't you called him yet?" she asked as she looked at the blonde, raising one eyebrow as she appraised her.**_

_**Taking a deep breath, Peyton slowly let it out, biting on her lip. "I don't know. It's just, it's been so long since Ellie came into my life. I don't know if the number is even still good, or if my brother would want to hear from me if I did," she shrugged, and the counselor continued to look at her, and they both knew that wasn't the whole truth. "Okay, okay, I know, that's not the whole truth. I'm scared, okay. I'm really scared to call him, and I'm scared that he'll come into my life, and then leave, and I won't make it through the abondonment of another family member of mine," she amended.**_

_**With a nod, the counselor wrote something on the clipboard before looking back up at her patient again. "Everything is a little bit scary, Peyton, or at least it has the potential to be. It's how we deal with those fears that matters. I think you're strong enough now. I want you to at least call him before our next session," she said, and the blonde reluctantly nodded. "Are you still recording your thoughts one your podcasts?" she asked, bringing up a new topic and looking at her curiously.**_

_**Biting on her lip, Peyton slowly nodded. She was hesitant to really answer. "I actually mentioned my brother problem. Once I call, I'll probably continue to update on it, if anyone's listening anyway," she said with a shrug, as she looked down, suddenly becoming very interested in her finger nails. She hadn't really told Lucas about the podcasts yet. She planned on it. One day, when all her issues were dealt with, and not quite so embarrassing. And maybe when she had moved on, and married someone else, if that ever happened, because she kind of mentioned her feelings for him in them.**_

_**After studying Peyton for a moment, the woman spoke. "Well, let's examine that, shall we. You'll mention your problems to a bunch of people you don't even know, and yet you feel you can't talk to anyone you do know about your problems," she said. Peyton opened her mouth to speak, but the woman held up a finger. "No, you speak to me only because you have to. Not because you consider me a close enough friend to talk to. There is a difference. Tell me, Peyton, why do you feel you can't talk to your friends?" she asked.**_

_**The tone told Peyton that she already knew the answer, she was just waiting to hear what Peyton had to say. Peyton crossed her arms defensively across her chest. "Well, it couldn't be the fact that the one person who was supposed to be my best friend, the one who had promised me that she would always be there for me, just dropped me as soon as a guy she deemed worthy came into her life? Or could it be the fact that the man I pledged my life to forever, the man I was supposed to love 'till death do us part, just didn't work out. What is supposed to make me believe that any kind of relationship, or friendship, will ever truly last?" she asked, surprised by the words that came out of her mouth.**_

_**It took a long time for the woman to consider Peyton's word before she replied. Peyton just sat there, nervously biting her lip, wondering what was coming next. "Some relationships, some friendships, just end Peyton. There is no why and there is no reason to believe that everyone is going to leave you," she said, and from Peyton's change in expression, she knew she'd guessed right. "You still have that fear, don't you? The fear that everyone in your life will leave you, that Lucas will eventually leave you," she cocked her eyebrow at the blonde.**_

_**Blowing out a sigh, she finally realized that was correct. She was scared that any day now, Lucas would realized what a nutcase she was, and go running as fast as he could to get away from her. That's why she didn't want to get her heart involved. "Everyone else has. Brooke, Jake, Anna, even Larry in his own way. I just don't think I could take it if I told him how I felt, and he told me he felt the same, and then he left. It'd be much easier if I could just deny my feelings until he finally leaves. I don't deserve him. I'm broken, and I don't even know if you can fix me," she said softly.**_

_**The timer went off, signaling the end of the session. Peyton jumped to her feet, ready to run out of there, but she was stopped by a voice. "You're not broken, Peyton. A little damaged, yes, but you will heal, I know it. You're too stong and stubborn not to. Look at how far you've already come, and I think you're going to go a lot farther," she said with a smile. "As for Lucas, sometimes we need someone to help us through it, and I think Lucas is in this for the longhaul. Even if he's not, sometimes we just have to take a chance and see how things go," she added.**_

_**END FLASHBACK**_

**Pulling her car to a stop, Peyton looked at the house she used to live in. She hadn't seen it since the accident, but the grass appeared to be mowed, and it seemed like the white paint had been freshened, which she had been complaining needed to be done. Jake had never been one to mow the lawn though, so she had to wonder, who had done it for him? It wasn't her business anymore, she reminded herself forcibly. They weren't married. She had no say in who mowed his lawn.**

**Getting out of the car, she walked up the front porch and then hesitated for only a moment before knocking on the front door. There was a few beats of silence, then she heard steps coming toward the door. Suddenly, a second set of lighter steps came running past the first one, and the door swung open to reveal Jenny, who beamed up at Peyton when she realized who was at the door. "Peyton!" she called, throwing herself into Peyton's arms just as Nikki came into view.**

**To be honest, Peyton wasn't all that surprised to see Nikki there. She had almost expected that now that she moved out, Nikki would be around more to help out with her daughter. "Hey, Peyton, come on in," she said, and Peyton had to admit, she sounded sincere. Peyton followed Nikki into the living room, still holding Jenny and listening to her babble on about what was going on in her life. What really surprised Peyton was the fact that Brooke was sitting on the couch, flipping through a magazine like she lived there.**

**It took Peyton a few moments to realize that Brooke did live there. "Jake is the friend in Savannah?" she managed to get out, finally drawing Brooke's attention to her. The brunette took her feet off the couch and closed the magazine her eyes wide as she looked at her once-best friend, at a complete loss for words. Peyton nodded quickly, not giving Brooke a chance to respond. "It's none of my business anyway. I came to see Jake. I need to get the rest of my stuff," she said, setting the little girl down and turning to Nikki, ignoring Brooke.**

**The tiny brunette looked up at Peyton with eyes that were quickly filling with tears. "You're really leaving?" she said, before she ran off to her room. The three adults heard the door slam, but none of them could move, all of them surprised by Jenny's outburst. Peyton had thought that Jenny had understood, and that she was okay with things. Jake came from the other part of the house when he heard the door slam, and stopped short at the sight of the blonde in his living room. He had not expected Peyton.**

**Shaking her head as he opened his mouth, she pushed past him. "No, Jake, I really don't have time for any excuses. I don't give a damn about who you're screwing. I care about that little girl, who is apparantly heartbroken right now. So save it, and if you wouldn't mind gathering the boxes and putting them on the porch or something. I would appreciate not having to spend any more time than necessary in the house with you and the woman you're shacked up with," she said, anger getting control of her for a moment.**

**Her words caused Jake to stop in his tracks and she left him on the stairs as she made her way to Jenny's room. She knocked on the door gently, trying the knob when she got no response, and finding it open. She leaned in the door way for a moment, watching as Jenny sat at her small desk, a piece of paper in front of her, on which she was drawing, as tears rolled down her cheeks. "You know, for a second there, I would have sworn you were my daughter, with the way you stormed off like that," she said casually.**

**The little girl stubbornly kept her gaze down, but she could tell she had the girl's attention when she asked what Peyton meant. "Well, I had that same attitude when I was your age. Also, the drawing thing is all me, too. Your dad has musical talent, and I've never seen your mom pick up anything relating to art," she said assuredly, knowing she had Jenny's attention now when the little girl put down the pencil. "You're not scared that just because some paper says I'm not your mother, that will mean I'm not going to be involved in your life, are you?" she asked, taking a seat on the small princess bed.**

**The tiny girl made her way over to the bed and sat down, sniffling as she nodded slowly. She kept a safe distance from Peyton, with no contact whatsoever, but Peyton knew she was softening. "Well, I haven't seen you since that last day in Tree Hill, and you said we'd see each other more. I guess I always thought you weren't really going to take your stuff. If you take your stuff, and daddy gets with someone else, then it means you're really never coming back," she said, rubbing at more tears that slipped from her eyes.**

**Without hesitation, Peyton pulled the little girl into her arms. "I'm so sorry Jenny. You're right, things really aren't going back to normal, but that doesn't mean I don't love you. I promise you, you're still my favorite little girl of all time. I'm just going through some hard stuff, and your daddy and I need to stay away from each other to heal for a little while, you know, because we lost the baby. I promise, from now on, I'll find a way to see you more often, okay, no matter what, and I'll be a part of your life for as long as you want me to be," she promised, hoping she could keep that promise.**

**With another small sniffle, Jenny pulled back to look Peyton in the face. "Well, that'll be forever, you know," she said confidently, after seemingly deciding that Peyton really was telling the truth. Peyton chuckled and nodded, deciding in that moment that she didn't care what was going on between her and Jake, or Jake and anyone else. She'd find a way to spend more time with the little girl, even if she had to go through Nikki. She pulled Jenny into another hug, and Jenny hugged back, both of them satisfied with the talk.**

**After telling Peyton everything that had been going on at home, including the fact that Brooke had moved in, Jenny reluctantly agreed to let Peyton get her stuff and go, only after making Peyton promise that she could come stay with her in Tree Hill some weekend soon. Peyton had promised, and as she closed the door behind her, she wondered about what Jenny had told her. The little girl hadn't specifically said her dad and Brooke were together, but that didn't mean they weren't. Peyton hadn't been able to bring herself to inquire.**

**On her tiptoes, which she knew was immature, but she wasn't ready to face Jake after yelling at him like that, and she didn't want to face Brooke at all, she made her way to the front door. She was hoping that Jake had done as she had requested and gotten the rest of her stuff on the porch. He had. There were boxes covering the porch, but Peyton was surprised to find Nikki out there too, looking somewhat repentant. She didn't understand the guilt in Nikki's eyes, but then realized it must have something to do with Brooke and Jake. Maybe she was feeling guilty for not telling Peyton?**

**Before Nikki could speak, Peyton held up a hand. This had just seemed to cement it further into her mind. Brooke really had come here to be with Jake, and Jake had apparantly wanted to be with her too. Peyton had to force herself not to be hurt, because she, after all, had feelings for Lucas, who was Brooke's ex. She should have expected it even, with the way Brooke and Jake were acting in the hospital. Even though she told herself all those things, though, she really couldn't bring herself to believe them. Not right now. Not yet.**

**So instead of having this discussion with Nikki, when she didn't know what she was feeling, Peyton cut the brunette off. "It's really okay, Nik. It's not your fault, and I don't blame you," she said honestly, because she really couldn't expect Nikki to tell her this. Her loyalty should lie with the father of her child before her friend. Nikki looked surprised by this, but Peyton didn't let her speak. "Seriously, it's okay. Do you think you can help me load these so I can get out of here?" she asked, changing the subject.**

**Hesitating briefly, Nikki finally nodded, but Peyton had already grabbed a box and was walking toward her Comet, so there was nothing for Nikki to do but grab a box and follow. She was surprised Peyton had taken the news so well, when she had been yelling at Jake just minutes ago, but she could also tell that Peyton didn't want to talk about it, and there was no forcing Peyton to talk about something she didn't want to talk about. So Nikki and Peyton worked in silence, until all the boxes were in the car.**

**Then Nikki couldn't keep silent anymore. She hugged Peyton and before Peyton could cut her off, she spoke. "Are you really sure you're okay with it, Peyton?" she asked, her eyes searching the green ones, looking for some answer Peyton wasn't sure about. The question took Peyton by surprise, Nikki could tell, and Peyton paused as she tried to think of the right response. Nikki waited patiently, not wanting to push the blonde, because she knew she wouldn't get a straight answer if she did.**

**Biting on her lip for a moment, Peyton forced herself to slaken her jaw and let it go. Her counselor had told her to finally get rid of the habit, if she could, by stopping whenever she realized she was doing it. "I, um," she paused, finally settling on the truth. "Well, no, I'm not really okay with it, but what can I do, you know? I mean, I'm not married to him, and I really never was. So, while I don't know if I'm okay with it now, I'll have to be, and really, I don't blame you, Nikki. I meant that," she said before turning and walking down the walk to her car.**

**A/N: **_So, tell me what you think. I thank everyone who reviewed last chapter. I don't have much time to write a long A/N for this one. I just hope you liked it, and I hope you'll review._

**Disclaimer: **_I don't own anything._


	13. Ch11: First Date

When Peyton pulled to a stop in front of her house, she paused for a minute before getting out of the car. She didn't want to have to go in there and tell Lucas what she had just found out, but more than that, she didn't want to see his reaction. If he got jealous, then he was still in love with Brooke, and she wouldn't go down that road again. Not ever.

If he wasn't jealous, though, that meant that maybe he had gotten over her, and maybe Peyton and Lucas could have their shot. She was just scared that they might finally have their shot. If they tried, and it didn't work out, then she would lose the only thing that was really helping her through mess that the was her life right now.

On the other hand, if he wasn't jealous, and she ran like she did in high school, then she would always wonder 'what if'. She had had enough years wasted on what if. She didn't want to have to wonder anymore, but that didn't really help ease the fear. Still, she was tired of not knowing, and in that, she guessed she had her answer.

Getting out of the car, she headed inside. She could smell dinner as soon as she stepped inside, and she heard Lucas and Lily in the kitchen. The little girl ran up to her as soon as she entered the room. "Peyton! Lukey made dinner, and guess what, we made some cookies for dessert. Chocolate chip. You like chocolate chip, right?" she asked, with a worried look on her face.

With a laugh, Peyton couldn't help but kiss the little girl on her tiny nose. "Yes, Lils, I love chocolate chip," she reassured the little girl as she set her back down. Lily immediately went back to her chair, where she was standing and watching Lucas work over the stove. "Hey, Luke, can we talk later, do you think?" she asked, knowing they wouldn't really get time until later, and knowing her stomach would be in knots until then.

Nodding, Lucas looked over at her curiously, wondering what was up. "Sure, of course, Peyton," he said, turning his attention back to the stove for a minute. "Dinner will be ready in about five minutes. Can you wash up, and then go set the table?" he asked the blonde, wondering what was making her so nervous. What could have happened in Savannah? He knew he shouldn't have let her go alone.

Twisting her fingers, Peyton realized she had something to do first. "In a minute," she said, earning a look from him. She never refused when he asked her to do a chore like that. "I have to make a phone call first," she said, sending him what was supposed to be a reassuring smile. He realized immediately what she meant, and smiled back, nodding that she should go.

Heading up to her room, Peyton grabbed the note that her mom had written her, and grabbed the phone. She hesitated for a moment before dialing all seven numbers, and hitting send. She bit her lip as the phone rang, and then someone picked up. She heard the masculine hello from the other end, but it took her a moment to find her voice. "Hey, this is Peyton Sawyer. I got a note from Ellie, my mom," she said, before she was cut off.

The voice that cut her off was harsh in a way that it had not been only moments before. "Don't call here again," she heard before there was a click and the line went dead. She sat there for a minute in shock before she was able to close her phone. She swallowed and got up, going back downstairs almost in a trance. So he knew who she was and didn't want to talk to her. Okay then, fine.

For another few minutes, she just sat in her room, before she went back downstairs, setting the dinner table, just as Lucas brought the food to the table. She sent him a hesitant smile, but shook her head slightly as she sent a glance toward Lily, who had bounded into the room after her brother. She didn't want to explain the whole thing in front of little ears, and she really just wanted a nice evening.

A nice evening is what the three of them had, before Karen showed up to pick up her daughter. Peyton kept Karen there for as long as she could, but eventually, Karen had to go put Lily to bed, and Peyton could put of the conversation no longer. "Okay, Lucas, I have to admit, I've put this off for as long as I could, but I have some bad news for you," she said as they both sat on the sofa.

Cocking an eyebrow, Lucas waited silently for Peyton to get whatever she had to get off her chest. She smiled hesitantly at him, sure that the news was going to break his heart. "Well, while I was over in Savannah, I kind of saw Brooke at Jake's house. I think they're together. I'm so sorry, Luke," she said, reaching over to grab his hand, as if to comfort him.

Instead of getting crestfallen, like Peyton had thought he would, Lucas took it in stride. He didn't seem to mind at all, and that baffled Peyton. He spoke before she could express her shock. "Well, that's good for them, then. I hope she found someone who will make her happy," he paused, as if considering something. "Unless you're upset because Jake's moved on. Oh, Peyton, I'm sorry," he said, comforting her.

Staring at him in shock, Peyton finally found her voice. "No, I'm not upset," she realized the words were true. She truly didn't mind that he had moved on, if he was happy. "I just sort of thought you would be, you know. I mean, she only broke up with you not too long ago. We never really talked about that. I just figured you would be upset," she said with a shrug, biting her lip.

After a moment of just staring at her, Lucas lifted his hand to gently ease her lip out from between her teeth. "Peyton, Brooke and I mutually decided to break up. We both knew that I've never loved her like she deserved, because I've always been in love with someone else. So, no, I'm not upset. As long as she's happy, good for her. She can be with whoever she wants," he said, staring into her green eyes.

The intensity of his blue eyes scared her, because Peyton was pretty sure she knew what he was getting at. She just wasn't sure she wanted to acknowledge it. She wasn't ready for this yet. She hadn't decided what she wanted to do. She just sat there for a minute, like a deer caught in the headlights, her green eyes wide as she sat there, speechless.

Finally, Lucas couldn't take it anymore. He had left the ball in her court, and she would have to figure out what to do with it, but it appeared she already had made that decision. "It's okay, Peyton, no big deal. I guess I always sort of knew that you didn't feel the same way. Really, it's no big deal," he said, dropping contact with her and standing, heading for the kitchen to wash the dishes.

With a jolt of reality, Peyton realized that if he walked away right now, they wouldn't get another chance. They had already had too many chances, and there would be no more. "Luke," her mouth moved before she could think about it, and she stood. "Wait," she said and he turned to face her slowly. "You're wrong," she said, her feet moving toward him without her thinking about it.

By his hopeful look, she realized she was finally doing the right thing. She kept moving closer to him. "I've always felt the same way, Lucas, I've just been running away from my feelings, and I can't do that anymore. I don't understand why you would want to be in a relationship with me. I've got so much emotional baggage, and we're going to have to take this slowly, but I don't want to miss this chance," she bit her lip as she paused.

Before he could say anything, she closed the distance, and wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him down to crash his lips to hers. She felt her knees go weak with the kiss, and she was glad his hands moved to her waist, or she would have certainly fallen. She knew as he kissed her back that she had made the right decision, because kissing Jake had never felt like this.

OTH OTH OTH OTH OTH OTH OTH OTH OTH OTH OTH OTH OTH OTH OTH OTH OTH OTH OTH OTH

A few days later, Peyton woke up to a knock on her door. She assumed it was Haley, because she knew that Lucas wasn't here. He had left her home alone for the first night since he had moved in, and she had known that he would send Haley over to hang out today, because he was supposedly going to be busy all day, getting ready for their date later.

In reality, he still would have been here last night, except Peyton had forced him away, saying that they couldn't sleep in the same bed the night before their first date, what kind of girl did he think she was? Really, though, she had decided that it was time he began to leave her alone more, or she'd never be able to function without him. Now that they were dating, they had to set some other boundaries.

Also, she had wanted to record a new podcast to post on the internet. She wanted to update whoever was listening on her life, and she had wanted to talk about Lucas, so he couldn't be around to hear it. What had surprised her was that the date with Lucas ended up being only a side note, and she had talked more about the fact that her brother had hung up on her.

When she had talked with Lucas about the phone call, after their kiss the other night, she had tried to play it off, pretend it didn't matter too much to her, but she realized last night that it did matter. She wouldn't call him again, because that would probably end up hurting her already wounded pride, but she hoped that he somehow heard her podcast and called her.

Another knock on the door reminded her that Haley was there, and she got up, walking toward the door without even thinking about what she was wearing. Haley had stopped by unannounced often enough to see her in her pajamas before, and Haley also knew that she loved to wear Lucas's shirts, not only because they smelled like him, but because they were comfortable. She had never really preferred sleeping in Jake's shirts.

Before she could sleepily stumble the rest of the way to the front door, whoever it was gave up on her answering and opened it, and Peyton stopped on the stairs, surprised to be greeted by Jenny's enthusiastic grin as opposed to Haley, or even Jamie. She quickly looked behind the little girl, and was glad to see that it was Nikki standing there, and not anyone else.

Still shocked, Peyton barely managed to catch the little girl who came running at her. She forced a smile for Jenny, though, and looked down at the girl, suddenly aware of what she was wearing. She chose to ignore it for now, though, and pretend there was nothing weird about it. "Hey, you, I didn't expect to see you so soon. What are you and your momma up to today?" she put cheer in her voice.

The little girl rambled on, and Peyton managed to catch that she had begged her momma to bring her to Tree Hill, and Nikki had eventually given in, so here they were. Peyton bit on her lip, and smiled at the girl. "Well, I was supposed to go shopping today, not with Brookie, so it won't be too bad, but still, if you don't want to go, we can always find something to do, and there will be other days, of course, kiddo," she said.

Not to be deterred, Jenny instantly agreed to go shopping with them, and she found a way to insist Nikki was going to. Peyton smiled when it was all agreed to, and then excused herself to take a quick shower and change. She needed a moment to herself. She hadn't really talked to Nikki as a friend in a while, but she had a feeling all Nikki would want to talk about would be Brooke and Jake, and she didn't want to talk about that.

While Peyton was getting ready, Haley arrived, and Peyton made sure to keep away from any alone time with Nikki as they loaded into the car and headed to the mall. Peyton was shopping for something to wear for her date with Lucas, and she wasn't exactly sure what she was looking for, because Lucas hadn't told her what they were doing.

The day was nice, and Peyton managed to avoid any alone time with Nikki. She finally settled on getting a deep green tiered skirt, which ended mid-thigh, and showed off her legs, and a silvery off the shoulder top. She had a pair of silver heels at home that would match the top, and she bought a new green purse that matched the skirt. Her wardrobe, at least, was ready for the date.

Not that Peyton wasn't ready for this to happen. She was sure she wanted to go out with Lucas, because she knew she owed it to both of them to give them a chance, but she was worried that they both had such high expectations, and they would only be disappointed. She wasn't sure how the date could be as great as she knew they both expected it to be.

Sensing her discomfort, Haley managed to wrangle a moment alone with Peyton while Nikki was helping Jenny in the bathroom. "So, Peyton, what's the issue. Don't tell me you're going to break my best friend's heart before you even go out. I know how much you were looking forward to this, so what's your problem?" she asked, nudging Peyton with her shoulder.

Taking a deep breath, Peyton bit on her lip, wondering just how much she should tell Haley. She finally decided that it would stay between her and Haley and she looked at the floor as she spoke. "Well, I mean, both of us have been holding onto this idea that we're going to be perfect together, right. Well, what if we're not? What if we go out and it's not like we both think it's going to be?" she asked.

Sighing, Haley really wanted to shake some sense into the blonde, but she restrained herself. "Peyton, you're just being ridiculous," she said simply, and since Peyton didn't like her tone of voice, Haley knew she had the blonde's attention. "Yeah, both of you have been waiting for this a long time, but that won't affect things. You guys are going to be perfect together, whether you have a perfect first date or not," she insisted.

Taking a moment to consider this, Peyton averted her gaze again, and started chewing on her lip. She nodded slowly, like she agreed with Haley, but she didn't take her eyes off the ground, or stop biting her lip, so Haley knew that wasn't the only thing that was bothering her. "What's up, Peyton. I know that's not the only problem, so tell me what's really on your mind," she said.

Previously, the blonde hadn't wanted to admit this to herself, much less anyone else, but she was feeling the need to get these things off of her chest, so she followed it. "I'm on my antidepressants, right, and since I've started taking them, they've done a really good job of keeping me happy, and keeping me from being depressed," she trailed off, and Haley was left wondering where she was going with this.

Just as Haley was about to ask what the problem was with that, she realized what Peyton must be thinking. "You're worried that if you go out, and you're happy, that it might just be because of the pills," she said, and Peyton neither confirmed, nor denied, but she finally met Haley's gaze. "Peyton, it's okay to take antidepressants. It doesn't mean your happiness isn't real, you just need a little help to feel it," she said.

Shaking her head, this time Peyton didn't agree. "No, Hales, Lucas doesn't deserve someone who needs to take pills to be happy with him. One day he's going to realize that, and that'll be it for me. I don't know why he even agreed to go out with me in the first place. I can't hold a real job, and I can't get through the day without a happy pill. Even my brother doesn't want to deal with me. Why should Lucas?" she said, desolate now.

Reaching out, Haley pulled Peyton into a hug. "Peyton, Lucas loves you for you, no matter what pills you have to take. He's loved you since you were sixteen, sweetie, and I don't see that changing any time soon. He knows the real you, and he's willing to stick by you, no matter what. I would think that he had proved that to you by now," she paused, but she didn't give Peyton a chance to break in.

Even as Peyton opened her mouth to protest, Haley continued. "Besides, as for your brother, he wasn't around when you were going through your good times, he doesn't deserve to be around now. If he doesn't see what a great person you are, Peyton, then forget him. You don't need someone like that in your life. You have enough friends without him," she said, rubbing Peyton's back in a way she often rubbed Jamie's.

That had really been what Peyton needed to hear, and a few seconds later, when Nikki and Jenny came out of the bathroom, Peyton and Haley both had a silent agreement that they wouldn't mention Peyton's near breakdown. It was time for them to head back to Peyton's anyway, so she could get ready for her date, and Jenny and Nikki still had to head back to Savannah.

It happened just when Peyton thought she was in the clear. She was about to head into the house when she looked up and noticed she was alone on the porch with Nikki. She blew out a sigh and cut Nikki off before she could speak. "Listen, I'm fine with Jake moving on, because I am, too, and I really don't want to talk about it, so, please, can we just go back to being friends without the awkwardness?" she asked.

After regarding her for a moment, Nikki nodded, and the two shared a hug before talking, catching up on one another's lives. Neither Brooke nor Jake was mentioned, although they did have to cut their talk short, because Jenny came back outside to see what was up. Nikki announced that they had to go, and a few minutes later they were driving away. Peyton went back inside and Haley, who had to cook for her family, left.

Time passed quickly as Peyton got ready, and before she knew it, there was a knock on the door. She called for Lucas to come in, and when she heard his voice call back, she yelled that she needed another minute, and that he should wait in the living room. Lucas did as she asked, but it was another ten minutes before she came down the stairs.

Digging in her bag, Peyton wasn't looking up as she entered the living room. "Sorry I took so long. I was being a total girl. I'm ready to go now," she said, finally looking up, to find Lucas staring at her, his mouth hanging open. She smiled on the inside, because that really said it all. "Close your mouth, before you catch flies. One would think you'd never seen a pretty girl before," she snarked, hoping she wasn't blushing.

Snapping his jaw shut, and shaking his head slightly, Lucas stepped closer to Peyton. "You are way more beautiful than any woman I'd ever seen before. Pretty doesn't even begin to cover it," he said. Peyton couldn't help but blush this time, but when he stepped closer for a kiss she raised her eyebrows and stepped back, a smirk on her face.

Seeing his shocked look, Peyton laughed. "You can't expect a kiss before the first date. Honestly, what kind of girl do you think I am? You'll be lucky if you get a goodnight kiss," she headed for the door, but she couldn't help but add, "Actually, maybe I'd be the lucky one," under her breath, but just loud enough so that he would be sure to hear her.

It didn't take him long to follow her, and then he led her to his car, and opened the passenger door for her. She badgered him the whole ride to tell her where they were going, and when they finally got there, she was still surprised. "We're going to the Cafe. You realize I work her everyday, right? Not to mention, you come here all the time," she cocked her eyebrow at him.

With his smirk, which used to annoy her, but now she actually liked it, not that she would tell him that, he got out of the car and walked around to open the door for her. "Good thing the surprise isn't the Cafe, then. Come on, follow me," he took her hand and led her into the Cafe, and then up to the roof, where he had set up a nice dinner, complete with lights strung around, and candles lit, and rose petals.

After dinner, they sat and they talked, about everything, and Peyton had to admit, all her earlier worries were unfounded. They had an absolutely perfect time, and everything between them felt even better than she had imagined. She didn't even care about the antidepressants anymore, because she knew that Lucas liked her despite her faults, and that was all that mattered.

The night ended with Peyton and Lucas on her front porch, saying goodnight. He made to go inside with her, but she moved in front of the door. "Oh, no, sorry, bud, but you're moving back into your own house since we're dating now. We're going to do this right. You do get a goodnight kiss, though," she said, snaking her arms around his neck and giving him a quick kiss before disappearing inside, turning the porch light off.

Inside the house, Peyton leaned against the door, thinking about the night. She had really wanted to invite him in, but she knew where that would end, and she wanted that to be special. She wanted to take things slowly, and she knew that it would be worth it if they waited until the perfect moment. She just hoped her self-control would last.

Still out on the porch, Lucas was reminded of their junior year, the last time she had left him standing on the porch. She had been with Nathan then, and things were so different now. He knew that she needed to take things slow, and despite how much he wanted to follow her inside, he was going to let her take things as slow as she needed. He wanted things to be perfect, because she deserved perfect.

**A/N: **_Okay, so who's happy that Leyton is together now? I know I am. I hope y'all are too. Don't worry, I still have plenty of drama planned for this story, so it's not over yet. I hope y'all like this chapter. Review and let me know what you thought._

**Disclaimer: **_I don't own anything._


	14. Ch12: Final Session

Another month passed and Lucas and Peyton were still living in separate houses and dating like any normal couple. It was finally time for her last appointment with her counselor, and she still hadn't heard from her brother. She was trying not to worry about those things, though, because she knew it did no good. She knew she had a good thing going with Lucas and none of the rest of it mattered, especially since she had spent two of the past three weekends with Jenny.

Still, she wasn't sure she was ready to stop seeing the counselor. She was on her way to see the woman as soon as she finished up what she was doing. She had started working at Tric again, like she had in high school, because Karen had said she had done well enough at the Cafe, and she needed the help at Tric more than she needed the help at the Cafe. Peyton was pretty sure Karen had done it because of Lucas's suggestion, but she didn't mind, because she knew that Karen did have faith in her.

Just as Peyton gathered the papers she needed, and she stood to leave, Karen entered the backroom, which had turned into Peyton's makeshift office. "Everything ready for tonight, then?" Karen asked, because she noticed that Peyton was getting ready to go. Peyton nodded. "Good, I'm glad," she paused, and Peyton met her gaze. "Good luck with your appointment today, Peyton. You really have turned things around, lately, and it's good to see you back to some semblance of normal," she said.

It really touched Peyton that Karen cared enough to notice, and she smiled, feeling the tears well in her eyes. Karen noticed too, and she took a step closer, looking concerned. She placed her hand on Peyton's arm. "No, no, these are good tears. I'm really glad to hear you say that. It means a lot to me, Karen, especially coming from you. I've always considered you somewhat of a third mom, and I'm glad that you care enough to help me out," she said, placing her hand over Karen's.

Smiling back at the blonde, Karen pulled her into a hug, holding her tightly, and Peyton knew this was what a hug from a mom felt like. She closed her eyes for a minute, enjoying the feeling. "Of course I care enough, Peyton. You've always meant a lot to me, even when Lucas was with Brooke, I've always sort of been pulling for the two of you. You've been like a daughter to me, and I'm sure soon enough you really will be my daughter. In-law, that is," she said with a knowing smile.

Wincing a little, Peyton kind of pulled back at that idea. It wasn't that she didn't want to marry Lucas one day, maybe, but she didn't want to rush it. "I don't know Karen. I mean, I know I love your son, and I have for a long time, but we don't want to jinx anything. It'll happen when it happens. That is something I've learned from my counselor. If it's meant to be, it will be, and there's no reason to rush it," she replied, trying to look like she wasn't scared by the thought of another marriage.

Sensing Peyton's discomfort, Karen decided not to pursue the subject. She just stepped back and let her go. "Well, good luck again with your last appointment, and try not to stress too much about tonight. You've done all you can, and I'm sure it will go great," she said confidently. Peyton wished she could have as much confidence in herself as everyone else seemed to have in her. "I will see you later, and please, try to just relax and have fun later," she said before leaving the makeshift office.

Nodding her head slightly as Karen left, she followed soon after, hoping that she could take the woman's advice. She ran into Lucas in the bar area, and noticed the flowers in his hands. "Hey, you, I thought you deserved flowers to making it to today. I was really worried about you for a while, Peyton, and now look at you. You're healthy again, and you're happy, I hope, and I just want to say I'm glad to be a part of it," he handed her the flowers when she reached him.

Biting on her lip, she tried not to let the tears that were so close to the surface fall. She had been looking forward to the last appointment ever since she had started going to the counselor, practically. The doctor said that she still had things to work on, but she had also said that she didn't need the weekly sessions anymore. She would still be able to call up the counselor whenever, but the counselor was sure that she would be able to handle things okay on her own.

Taking a deep breath, and letting it out slowly, Peyton looked up at Lucas. "Really, Lucas, I couldn't have done it without you," she said, and he tried to protest, but she cut him off. "No, I mean it. I would probably have died that day if you hadn't come to check on me, and it would have been just because I had made a stupid mistake, and there have been a lot of times since then when you've been the only thing that kept me going. I'm just glad to have you," she said, taking the flowers and giving him a quick kiss.

Shaking his head, Lucas reached up and brushed a curl out of her face. "You would have made it anyway, Peyton. You're strong like that. You may not realize that, but everyone else around you does. You are way stronger than you give yourself credit for. Look at what you've done since the accident. You got through all that's happened, and you've still managed to live, and do this club night thing for my mom. You are amazing, whether you'll believe that or not," he told her, taking her hand as he walked her to her car.

Blushing, Peyton looked down, allowing her hair to cover her face and her blush. She didn't go around looking for compliments, but for some reason, she couldn't help believe them, when Lucas said them. He really did have no idea how much he did for her, though, how much he did for her every day. She couldn't believe she had gone so many years without talking to him, because now she couldn't imagine going one day without seeing his smile, or hearing his voice, or looking into those blue eyes.

Honestly, he made her feel wanted, and she loved that most of all. Yeah, while they were married, and things were good-or at least they had thought they were married-Jake had always made her feel wanted too, but not in the way Lucas did, now, when the things were bad. When things had gone bad, her relationship with Jake had just sort of fallen apart, and she wouldn't blame that all on him, but a lot of it had been he hadn't looked at her the same anymore.

With Lucas, just a look made her feel like he could barely keep his hands off her sometimes, even when she wasn't wearing anything sexy, and she didn't have her hair done, or her make-up done. It wasn't just that, either, though, even if those looks were pretty great. It was more the feeling she got when he looked deep in her soul, making her feel like he wanted her despite all the crap and stuff, that he looked inside her and wanted her for that, and not just the looks. She liked that feeling the best.

Looking back up at him, she smiled. "You know, you're pretty amazing, too, Lucas Scott," she said, reaching up to give him another quick kiss. "I've got to go, though, because now I've got to go home and put these in water before I go to my appointment, and if I don't leave now, I'll be late. I've been on time for every other one, so I don't want to start being late now," she grinned. "I will see you later, when you pick me up for tonight," she sent him one last wave before getting into her car.

Well, she still didn't really think of the car as her car. Her Comet had been declared totaled after the accident, and so she had gotten a used car. It was still a convertible Mustang, but it wasn't the same as her car, and it would never be her car. Even though the Comet was just a car, it had always felt like a part of her, and it was still hard for her to accept that she would never drive it again. She didn't really believe it, or she just didn't want to.

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In her counselor's office, Peyton sat with her hands crossed in her lap. "I think you've come a great distance in such a short time, Peyton, but you always make that face there," she gestured to Peyton's expression, which had twisted into some type of grimace, as if she didn't believe the words, "when I say that, so tell me, what do you think about your progress?" she questioned as she studied the blonde across from her.

As soon as her counselor had mentioned Peyton's facial expression, she tried to rearrange her features, but she figured now was as good a time as any to express her fears. If she hadn't done it thus far, she may as well do it in her last session, right? "It's just, you say that, and everyone else says that I've come so far, but I just honestly don't see it," she paused, but she noticed the look on the other woman's face, which she recognized as meaning, "Continue."

Taking a deep breath, Peyton tried to delve deeper into her emotions. She figured since she had started this subject, she might as well get it all off her chest. "I mean, yes, I'm working a job again, but it's a job I did in high school, and probably better than I do it now. I went to school, got a degree, and I guess I always thought that I'd have done more by now, you know. I didn't see myself here when I graduated high school," she trailed off, surprising herself with how much she said.

The counselor straightened for a moment and jotted a quick note down on her clipboard. She looked back up at Peyton and met her gaze. "Well, you can't look at it that way, Peyton. Something big and horrible happened to you, and that changed your plans a bit, and that's okay. Your whole life changed. You can't be expected to just immediately bounce back from that. Quite frankly, you've done a lot better than some of my other patients who have been through the same thing," she concluded.

Biting on her lip, Peyton didn't respond. She wrapped her arms around her torso as she tried to consider what the woman said. She supposed she made some sense, at least. Maybe she could think of it that way. For a while, during her dark days, she really hadn't thought that she would make it through. "Are you still taking your medication?" the woman asked, startling Peyton, who hadn't been expecting that question.

A bit hesitant in her answer, Peyton gave the answer without saying a word. At the other woman's disapproving look, she felt the need to explain. "You mean the happy pills? I don't want to be on them. I want to be happy because I'm happy, and if I'm not I want it to be because I'm just not. I don't want to rely on a stupid pill to make me happy every day. Life should make me happy on it's own," she said in a tone that, admittedly, was pretty defensive.

After silently studying Peyton long enough that the blonde wanted to shout at the woman and ask what she was thinking, the counselor finally spoke. "Well, are you?" she asked, and she could immediately tell Peyton wasn't expecting that, due to the confusion that clouded her gaze. "Are you happy? Since you've stopped taking the pills, has life made you happy?" she clarified, cocking an eyebrow in a way that had frustrated Peyton since the beginning.

Breathing out a sigh, Peyton considered the answer, then looked sheepishly down at her knees, giving a small shrug in answer to the question. "It's okay to need help to be happy, Peyton. You have a chemical imbalance in your brain. It's a medical disorder that you need medication for. Would you resent the medication if you had epilepsy and had to take pills daily to stop yourself from having seizures?" she asked.

Looking up at the woman, Peyton considered that, and then shook her head. "Right. If anyone doesn't understand why you have to take antidepressants, that's their problem, not yours. As long as they're working for you, Peyton, I encourage you to take them. Now, if one day, you can be happy without them, then it's perfectly okay to stop taking them, but I don't believe you're ready to be off them yet, and I don't believe you believe that either," she said.

Nodding slowly, Peyton agreed to start taking them again. She had only been off them for a week. She'd been flushing her pill every morning down the toilet, because Lucas liked to randomly check to make sure she was taking them everyday, and Haley did, too. She knew it wasn't because they didn't trust her-although, considering she wasn't taking them anyway, maybe they shouldn't trust her-but it was because they were looking out for her.

After considering Peyton for a moment, as if trying to decide whether or not Peyton was actually telling the truth, she looked down and jotted a quick note on her clipboard, before looking up again and leveling Peyton with a look that she knew from experience meant that whatever topic was about to be brought up was not one she would like. "Well, I think that since this is our last session, we should discuss your fear of intimacy," she prompted.

Just as Peyton knew the counselor expected, she immediately jumped on the defensive, protesting. "I do not have a fear of intimacy. I've been with Lucas for a month already, haven't I? I kiss him in public, sometimes, and I hold his hand. I have no problem with that," she said, and the counselor just continued to look at her. She knew what that meant too. Peyton was supposed to figure it out on her own, or, more likely, just admit to herself that the counselor was right.

Her posture was still on the defensive, with her arms crossed across her chest, and her legs crossed as well, and her eyes were narrowed, but she was biting her lip, which meant she was considering, at least. After another moment, she uncrossed her arms and legs. "Okay, maybe you're a little right. Is it so wrong that I don't want to just jump in bed with him, even though I'm pretty sure I'm in love with him? I just want to be careful," she shot back.

With a small smile, the woman regarded Peyton. "You know, of course it is okay to be careful," she paused and Peyton knew more was coming. "As long as you're being careful for the right reasons. If you're holding back because you're not sure you love him, then that's fine, but I've seen the way you talk about him, and I know you're in love with him. Sometimes you have to take risks, Peyton. You can't just hold back because you're scared," she said.

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That evening, Peyton was just slipping her silver chandelier earrings into her ears when the doorbell rang. She was still barefoot, so she called out for Lucas to come in. She sat on the bed and pulled on her boots, pulling her jeans down over them. She was wearing a hunter green halter top, and her hair was down. Her make-up was pretty natural, except for her bright red lipstick. She took one last look in the mirror, grabbed her purse and her leather jacket, and rushed downstairs.

For a moment, as she reached the end of the stairs, she just looked at him. Lucas's back was too her, giving her a chance to just stare at him, and allowing her to examine the feelings she had for him, and the one's he incited in her. She didn't really want to try to classify them just yet, but she already knew what they were. She just wanted to enjoy them right now, though. He was looking good in a light blue long-sleeved button down and jeans.

When he turned, she noticed the button down was left unbuttoned, and he wore a dark blue tee-shirt under it. Her eyes trailed up his chest, until green eyes met blue, and she lost herself in his gaze. Lucas broke into a grin and felt his breath leave him as he stared at her. She was always breathtaking, and tonight was no exception. "You look absolutely gorgeous," he said to her in a husky voice that he always used when complimenting her.

Taking the time to approach him and give him a quick kiss, Peyton took his hand as she lowered herself off of her tiptoes. She loved the finger of his fingers laced through hers, even though his big hands engulfed hers, she still felt like they fit perfectly together. She stepped back slightly, but that didn't stop the familiar shiver that went down her spine at his touch. She blushed at his compliment as always, and bit her lip as she looked down.

Reaching out with his free hand, he raised her head and looked into her eyes, his blue eyes gazing into her green earnestly. He placed another kiss on her lips, his blue eyes saying all the words he didn't need to speak. She knew exactly what he was getting at. "Thank you. I know that you honestly believe that, and that is really all that matters to me," she tugged him towards the front door by his hand, so they could leave.

When they made it to his car, he opened the passenger door for her and she slid in, sending him a smile, which he returned before closing the door. He walked around the car and got in the driver's side and once he was on the road, she took his free hand. "So, how was your session today?" he asked, looking over at her and bringing her hand up to his lips so he could place a kiss on it when they were stopped at a red light.

Taking a few blocks to mull over the answer once he started driving again, she tried to decide the overall effect of the session. "It went okay," she finally said. He looked over at her with a raised eyebrow, and she just shrugged. She knew how the whole conversation would play out, because they'd had it so many times, and she decided to avoid the whole thing. "It went fine, really," she added and then he pulled into the parking lot of Tric, effectively ending the conversation.

Since he liked to open the door for her, she waited until he made it to her side of the car and opened it before she slid out of the car, taking the hand he offered her. He pulled her to a stop before she could start leading them to the club. She turned to face him and he pulled her close, placing his hands on her hips and forcing her to stay there. "You are going to have a stress-free night, okay?" he asked and she nodded after a slight hesitation. "No, you have to believe it, too, stress-free, you hear me?" he started tickling her.

Unable to hold in her laughter as his fingers nimbly moved over her abdomen, she laughed loudly. "Okay, alright. I believe you," she surrendered, placing her hands on his to stop their movement. His fingers stopped moving, but he didn't move his hands. "Stress-free," she confirmed, and he allowed her to step back. She took his hand again and he let her lead them into the club. She headed for the bar, to talk to the bartended and make sure things were running smoothly.

With Lucas trailing behind her, she pushed her way through the crowd, which was already quite large, blocking her view of the bar almost completely. She only caught quick glimpses of it, when the crowd moved just right. She kept seeing glimpses of a woman flirting with the bartended, which didn't surprised her. Women always flirted with him. She was a few feet away from the bar when the crowd parted, allowing her to see the woman. She stopped in her tracks as she recognized her. Brooke.

A/N: Yeah, I know this has taken a while, but life has been busy, and I just haven't seemed to find my muse for this fic, which is what held up all my updates. I think the next update should be sooner, but since I still don't have internet of my own, I'm not making any promises. I hoped you like this chapter, though, and tell me what you think. What do y'all think of the return of Brooke, and why is she flirting with the bartender?

Disclaimer: I don't own anything related to One Tree Hill.


	15. Ch13: He's Dating Who?

Once Lucas saw Peyton's expression, his hand tightened around hers. "Stress-free, remember, we just decided that. Don't go back on your word now," he tried to keep his tone light, but the subject was heavy, and he lowered his voice and pulled her closer, so only she could hear him. "You can talk to her later. Leave it for now. Just ignore her," he whispered into her ear, intently staring at her, while her gaze remained firmly on Brooke.

The crowd got pushed around again, and Peyton's view of Brooke was once again obstructed. She turned her gaze from the spot where Brooke was and looked up at Lucas, trying to decide what she was going to do. He noticed the somewhat lost look in her eyes and took charge, pulling her by the hand through the crowd away from the bar and into her office, closing the door when they were inside and leaning against it as she began pacing, like he had known she would.

Running her hand through her hair, she paced back and forth, trying to figure out the best course of action. Should she go out there and just avoid Brooke completely? She really didn't want to make a scene and ruin the night. What about tomorrow, though, when she had to pick Jenny up? Should she possibly make a scene in front of the little girl? If Brooke was at Jake's tomorrow, acting like nothing had happened, should she tell Jake the truth? Should she just call Jake now and figure out what was going on?

Questions and possibilities raged endlessly through her mind, and she just didn't know what to do. She suddenly stopped pacing and looked to Lucas, who had moved from his spot leaning against the door, and was now sitting on the couch in her office. She walked over and plopped down next to him. "Poor Jake," she sighed out, at a loss for anything else to say. She just had no idea what to do or say in this situation. She almost wished she could call her counselor for advice.

Without saying anything, Lucas draped his arm around her shoulders and pulled her close, placing a kiss on the crown of her head. He just offered her comfort. She realized then what she was doing. "Oh, God, I'm such a horrible girlfriend. Here I am, worried about Jake, and here you are, comforting me, when it's your ex-girlfriend out there, flirting with every guy in the place. I'm so sorry. How are you doing?" she asked, looking up at him with wide green eyes.

A smile spread across his face, though he knew he shouldn't be amused. It was hard not to smile when he looked at Peyton, though, especially when she had just referred to herself as his girlfriend, which he had been waiting for for years. He reached up to cup her face and pressed a soft kiss to her lips. "Peyton, I understand, really I do. It's completely fine for you to worry about Jake, and I'm really okay," he assured her.

Smiling back at him, she realized that she had known that all along. "I know," she said simply, and he quirked an eyebrow at her quick agreement. "I knew you'd be okay, because I know you love me, and even if you weren't okay, I'm here for you. I was worried about Jake, because I'm not sure he's completely over everything yet, and he doesn't have anyone to go to for comfort if Brooke does hurt him," she explained.

Of course, Lucas understood, and he nodded when she finished speaking. He knew without a doubt that she was worried for Jake only as a friend, and she felt guilty for causing him pain in the first place, though she'd never admit that outloud. He couldn't be upset with her for simply being a good person. He was actually kind of worried about Brooke. "Are you ready to go back out there?" he asked her.

Still trying to figure out what she was going to do, she decided to just play it by ear, and nodded. She led the way towards the bar and noticed Brooke, still flirting with the bartender, staring at them. "Go talk to her. Make sure she's okay. I don't know what I'd sat to her. I haven't seen her since she left town," she pleaded with him, giving him a puppy dog look and a tilt of the head that he couldn't resist.

Despite his misgivings, he found himself heading towards Brooke, because he had never been able to say no to Peyton Sawyer, and he doubted he would change that, even if he could. She called out a thank you to him and he sent her a smile over his shoulder. He was worried about Brooke anyway, and he wanted to assure for himself that she was okay, or offer him comfort if she wasn't.

The bartender nodded at Lucas as he approached, and tore his attention away from Brooke. He handed Lucas a water, and then headed to the other side of the bar to tend to someone else, though not before winking at Brooke, Lucas noticed. It didn't really make him jealous, but he knew that the wink wasn't because the guy was looking for a relationship with her, and Brooke deserved better than a one night stand.

As Lucas took the barstool next to her, Brooke kept her eyes anywhere but his direction. She downed the first of three shots she had sittin in front of her. He sipped his water and waited for her to acknowledge him first, because he knew that Brooke had to do things at her own pace sometimes. She took a moment to let the alcohol affect her before looking over at him. "Are you okay?" he asked when she met his gaze.

Chuckling, though the sound was as humorless as it was possible for a laugh to be, she downed another one of her shots before turning back to him, her eyes flashing in drunken anger. "Oh, yeah, Lucas, I'm just flipping peachy. I've never been better. Life is just fantastic. Is that what you want to heat? WIll that make you feel better about yourself?" she kept herself from yelling, but she couldn't keep the bitterness from her voice.

Despite the fact that he had expected some reaction like that, he still flinched at her words. She tried slide off the stool to leave, but he grabbed her arm, and due to the alcohol she had already consumed, she stumbled, and he had to catch her in his arms so she wouldn't fall to the ground. He leaned back, away from the smell of alcohol that was as strong as if she had sprayed it on like perfume.

Pulling out of his grasp, Brooke swallowed loudly as she looked up at him, hating herself for the way he just seemed to melt her anger away. If just looking at him didn't do it, his next words certainly did. "I never stopped caring for you Brooke. I'm sorry things ended up this way, but I still want the best for you, and I always will. I wish we could just be friends," he said, his blue eyes burning into hers.

Staring in disbelief, Brooke realized her mouth had dropped open, and she snapped it shut, shaking her head slowly. "I believe those words, from you, really are sincere, but I just can't do it, Lucas. I can't stand to hear those words, from you of all people. Please, just leave me alone," she whispered softly, grabbing her last shot and pouring it down her throat before turning away and moving through the crowd, away from him.

Knowing that she really did need some space from him, he let her go, and a few moments later, he felt Peyton's reassuring hand on his shoulder, rubbing back and forth, moving to his back to rub up and down in comfort as she leaned her head on his arm. "I'm sorry, Lucas. One day she'll come around," she said assuredly, not really knowing if it was true or not or what had happened, but knowing he needed to hear those words.

Instead of saying anything, Lucas tore his eyes off the spot where Brooke had disappeared and looked at Peyton. He put his arm around her, and then pulled her close, into a kiss, which she quickly pulled out of, because they were in a public place. She bit her lip, wishing she wasn't so scared of being affectionate, but she still felt a little weary of being affectionate in public for some reason, despite the talk she had had with her counselor about it earlier.

Respecting her wishes, but wishing that she would stop being so scared, Lucas instead took her hand, leading her to the dance floor. She was glad that he was waiting for her to be ready, even though she didn't understand why she wasn't, but a part of her-the cynical part-wondered how long could it last, how long would he last, before he gave up on her like most everyone else in her life?

Before long, Peyton had to go announce the band, and she was walking back to the bar area, trying to find Lucas, when she noticed Brooke run into the bathroom, looking like she was about to vomit. She was hesitant to follow, but she knew Brooke probably had no one else to hold her hair back, and she remembered all the times she had had to hold Brooke's hair back in high school, and something made her follow the brunette into the bathroom.

Finding Brooke on her knees in front of the toilet in the first stall, Peyton approached and tenderly pulled Brooke's hair out of the way before anything could splash on it. She stood there, hunched over her once best friend, until Brooke had emptied the contents of her stomach, then she stepped out of the stall, got a few paper towels and got them wet before returning to wipe Brooke's mouth and forehead.

Neither said anything as Brooke gathered herself and tried to make sure she wasn't going to vomit again. Peyton just waited, wondering if Brooke was going to start yelling when she gathered the strength, or if she wasn't going to acknowledge her at all. Peyton wasn't sure which she would prefer. She was partially anxious for whatever fight was going to come, so they could just get past it already.

When Brooke finally opened her eyes, she stared at the woman across from her for a few minutes, neither breaking the lingering silence. "What are you doing Peyton?" Brooke finally asked. Peyton opened her mouth, but Brooke cut her off before she could speak. "No, I mean what is this? Why are you here with me? Weren't you the one who said we hadn't been best friends in years? What is this?" she didn't sound angry, just curious.

Staring back with the same intensity, Peyton realized that they were feeling each other out, trying to figure out what the other was thinking, and planning on doing. They had never had to wonder what was going on in the other one's mind before. She broke the eye contact and put her face in her hands. "I used to wonder what happened to us, Brooke. Why did this happen? Why did we let it?" she spoke into her hands.

Lifting her head, she looked into Brooke's eyes again. "Now, I don't care how we got here anymore. That doesn't matter. I just want our friendship back. I miss my best friend, and I don't care if you're dating Jake, and I hope you don't mind if I'm in love with Lucas, because he makes me happy, and I hope Jake makes you happy. I only want you to be happy, Brooke," she said sincerely, and Brooke was shocked into silence.

Since Brooke didn't say anything, Peyton went on. "I mean, that's why I stayed in Savannah in the first place, you know. I wanted you to be happy, and I knew Lucas was making you happy, and I didn't want to ruin that, and I thought Jake could make me happy. So I buried my feeling for Lucas, for you, and I stayed with Jake, and made my life with him, for you," she said, this time waiting for Brooke to speak.

The anger in Brooke's response shocked both of them. "Don't do that, Peyton. Don't try and place the blame on me. I didn't tell you to hide your feelings and I didn't make you go with Jake. Don't you dare even try to say this is all my fault," she threw the paper towels Peyton had given her to the side and stood, wanting to storm from the room. She stopped before she could go far because the room was spinning.

Due to Brooke's stopping, Peyton was able to get to her feet and move in front of her, to stand between her and the doorway before Brooke could run away. "Brooke, I didn't say that. Don't twist my words, and don't try to say it was all my fault either. I was placing the blame on no one, I was simply explaining my reasons, and don't try to twist things to put your mind at ease for shutting me out," she crossed arms over her chest defiantly.

With her hands up and rubbing her temples as she tried to stop the spinning, Brooke couldn't snap out a retort fast enough before Peyton continued, in a softer tone. "I just want us to go back to the friendship we had before, Brooke. Please, can't we at least try to do that? You used to be like a sister to me. I've already lost so many people, don't be one of them," she pleaded, meeting Brooke's eyes when the brunette managed to regain her composure.

Closing her eyes for a moment, Brooke opened again. "I just don't think that is possible, Peyton. We're not the same people we used to be. Too much separates us now, and too much has happened that I haven't accepted, that I'm not sure I can accept." They both knew she was talking mostly about Lucas. "I'm truly sorry, but I don't think we can ever get the friendship we once had back," she pushed past Peyton, and Peyton let her go, because other women were coming in to use the bathroom.

Once she was out of the bathroom, Brooke turned back, and the anger had returned to her eyes, though she kept her tone indifferent. "By the way, maybe you should get your facts straight before you assume things. I'm not dating Jake. I'm renting a room from him, once I get the money to pay him rent. He's dating Nikki, and you'd know that, if you bothered to ask anyone, instead of, once again, thinking whatever you want to think," she turned to walk away.

Something in Peyton snapped, and her own anger at Brooke was coming forth. "Damnit, Brooke, don't act all high and mighty. It looked pretty incriminating when you moved in with him, and I wouldn't put it past you to sleep with my ex just to spite me. I mean, you knew I was into Lucas when you went after him, and don't even pretend you didn't," she saw Brooke turn towards her again, but she didn't let the brunette speak.

It was like someone had broken down a dam, and all her anger at Brooke was spilling out now. It felt kind of good actually, because ever since she had gotten depressed, she had felt nothing but despair and numbness. She was actually feeling anger now, and she knew that was a major breakthrough, though she didn't give much thought to it then, because she was too busy yelling at Brooke.

Stepping closer, she tried to keep her voice at a normal volume. "Don't even try to say that things wouldn't have gone bad if I had stayed, either. If I had told you about my feelings for Lucas, you would have hated me anyway, and you know it. You probably wouldn't have broken up with him even if I had asked, which I wouldn't, because I, unlike you, have put your feelings before mine always," she had tears of anger in her eyes, but she didn't let them fall.

Surprising herself, she went on. "So damn you for not being able to forgive me for finally doing something that makes me happy. If you can't accept that, then that's your own personal problem. As much as I wanted your friendship back, I won't give up Lucas for you again. It looks like you get your wish, Brooke, because as of now, I'm done trying to change my feelings for you," she paused, the fire of her anger burning out as she realized what she was saying.

Instead of taking the words back, though, she went on, in a somewhat softer voice. "If you don't want to be friends anymore, fine. If you can't accept that I'm with Lucas, and we're happy together, I don't want to be friends anyway. I'm sorry for hurting you, really, I am, but it's past time for me to make myself happy, and if you can't understand that," she paused. "Well, that's it then," she turned and walked away, looking for Lucas.

Though she really wanted to call her counselor to talk about what happened, Peyton knew she couldn't. She couldn't call her counselor for every little thing. She needed to learn to completely handle things on her own. She just needed Lucas, and she would be okay. She knew that he was all she would ever truly need, and she was pretty sure that he would always be there for her.

Stopping in her tracks, she came to a sudden realization, that had nothing to do with Brooke, or Jake, or anything that had just gone down. She knew in her head that Lucas wasn't going to leave her, but her heart had been spurned so many times, it wasn't sure, and that was why she was holding back her affection. She wanted to be done holding back, though, because she knew Lucas was the only one she wanted, the only one who would truly make her happy.

Continuing to look for him, she allowed herself to think on what had just happened. Nikki was dating Jake. She realized that it made sense now, the whole encounter with Nikki and Jake that day. They both thought she had realized the truth when, really, she had just jumped to conclusions. She had just thought that Jake and Nikki would never get together again. She wasn't sure how she felt about that.

Spotting Lucas, she made her way through the crowd, feeling the smile that always spread across her face when she thought of him or saw him. She noticed all the women trying to dance with him and she noticed the way he ignored them, like he didn't even see them. He was looking for her. She suddenly was filled with the certainty that she was truly his, and he was hers, and nothing was going to change that.

When she reached him, she threw her arms around his neck and gave him a deep, passionate kiss, not caring who saw, because she knew the truth now, and she finally believed it, completely. She pulled back with a mischeivous grin. "Lets go back to my place," she said, taking his hand and pulling him toward the exit, ignoring his raised eyebrows. She wouldn't be able to explain it right if she tried.

It was like when that proverbial dam had burst in her, releasing all of her anger at Brooke, it had released her other emotions too. She wasn't entirely sure if that was because she had taken her pill today, combined with her personal breakthrough, but she didn't want to stop taking the pills again and find out that it was due to them. She had decided today that she would have no shame in taking them, and if they helped, they helped.

Part of her wanted to call the counselor to discuss this personal breakthrough, but she needed to prove to herself that she didn't need the woman to discuss everything that happened in her life. She knew that part of really getting better meant being able to handle life's curveballs, the good and the bad ones, on her own. She was going to take Lucas back to her house, and deal with Jake and Brooke and Nikki, tomorrow. One step at a time.

Following her out to the car, Lucas got in the drivers side, at her insistence, but as he began driving, he turned to her, questioning her, to make sure she was really okay with this. She smiled at his concern. "Yes, Lucas, I'm sure. I've been ready for this moment pretty much since I was sixteen. I think it's about time. In fact, I would say this moment is long overdue," she assured him, squeezing his hand in hers.

Stopping the car in front of her house, he went around and opened the door for her, giving her one last chance to back out. "Why, Lucas Scott, if I didn't know any better, I would think you were the one who was afraid," she challenged him, laughing when he began tickling her stomach, and they both headed for the house, neither noticing the figure on her porch until he was standing in front of them.

Both of them straightened, taking in the unfamiliar male, who had blonde hair and blue eyes. She looked to Lucas, who stepped slightly in front of her, wanting to protect her. She took his hand stepped up right next to him, asking the guy who he was. "Peyton Sawyer?" he asked her instead, and she slowly nodded. His eyes swept her up and down, as if he were assessing her. "I guess I'm your brother," he finally said.

**A/N: **_Kudos to the reviewer who guessed that Jake was dating Nikki and not Brooke. I was truly surprised that someone had figured it out, because I was trying to make it so it could really go either way, because I wasn't sure whether I wanted Jake with Brooke or Nikki. I have decided now, though, to go with Nikki. So, tell me what y'all think of this chapter. Be sure to leave lots of reviews, and I'll try to work on the next chapter for y'all._

**Disclaimer: **_I don't own anything related to One Tree Hill._


	16. Ch14: It's Okay?

When Peyton started to wake up, before she had opened her eyes, she sensed a presence next to her. She slowly reached out, feeling the body next to hers, her eyes popping open in a moment of alarm before she recognized Lucas, and she smiled as she remembered the night they had shared. She only smiled for a moment, though, before she remembered the rest of the evening and the smile slipped away.

Deciding to ignore the rest of what happened yesterday, she focused on the best part, which was right in front of her. She watched Lucas sleep for a moment, and then decided that as good as he looked, she couldn't just watch him sleep forever. She probably could actually, but she didn't want to. She scooted closer to him, wrapping her arms around his waist and resting her head on his chest so she could listen to his heartbeat.

Instantly, his arms tightened around her, and he kissed the top of her head as he woke up. She pressed kisses to his chest before she lifted her head to look at him. "I am so glad you're here. I still have to go to get Jenny from Jake's today, and I have absolutely no idea what I'm going to say. I can only hope that Brooke won't be there," she said as she brought her hand up to draw designs on his chest.

Still trying to digest that bit of drama himself, Lucas brought his own hand up to take hers, and he brought it to his lips to kiss it as he looked down at her. "I wouldn't want to be anywhere else," he said sincerely. "How about some breakfast before you have to make that drive?" he offered, cocking his eyebrow at her, grinning at her enthuasiastic nod before getting up and pulling on his boxers, heading to the kitchen in nothing else.

Smiling at the view, she lay in bed for a moment, surprised that she had actually brought herself to go through with it. She felt better about herself than she had in a long time, and she was really glad that she had Lucas. She meant her earlier words more than he ever would know, but she knew that he did understand. He understood her better than anyone else in the world, and she was pretty sure he always had.

Spotting his shirt from the night before on the floor, she grabbed it and slipped it on, buttoning it up as she headed to the kitchen after him. She stopped by the front door, remembering the night before, before she had taken Lucas to her bedroom. She hadn't been very nice to the guy on her porch, but to be fair, if it was her brother, he had hung up on her first. She had just been surprised.

_FLASHBACK_

_Blinking, Peyton just stood there for a moment, frozen, trying to process the words bouncing around in her head. She felt Lucas's hand squeeze hers and it brought her back to reality. Almost. "My brother?" she repeated. The unfamiliar figure nodded and she swallowed. She didn't say another word. She pulled Lucas past him, into the house, and then closed the front door behind them loudly._

_END FLASHBACK_

Wrapping her arms around Lucas's waist, she leaned her cheek against his bare shoulder blade and inhaled the scent of the chocolate chip pancakes he had already started. He placed one hand over hers while the other one manned the spatula. "Did your counselor have any good advice last night?" he asked, for the first time, since she hadn't wanted to do much talking last night, not with him anyway. She'd had other things she wanted to do with him.

As soon as she had closed the front door behind herself, though, she had retreated into her room, closing the door and dialing her counselors number. Everyone needed a little help sometimes, right? Well she had needed a lot of help, and her counselor had talked her away from a nervous breakdown, and given her some good advice. Peyton had hung up the phone and taken the advice.

Grinning slyly, though he couldn't see it, she nodded, which she knew he would feel. "Yeah, she told me to calm down, put away all the bad stuff, and return to doing whatever I had been doing before I had started freaking out," she answered. She had done just that. She'd changed into some sexy lingerie, opened her bedroom door, found Lucas and pulled him to her bed, exactly what she had been intending to do anyway.

Flipping the pancake onto the plate he had next to the stove, Lucas turned around in her arms, leaning down to give her a quick kiss on her lips. "You mean that right? We didn't rush into things, did we? I would have waited you know, Peyton. I would wait forever for you," he said, his blue eyes examining hers, trying to find the answers her mouth didn't always give.

Fortunately, he saw the same thing in her eyes that came out of her mouth. "I know that, Lucas, and it's for that reason and that reason alone why I didn't want to wait anymore. It's enough to know that you would wait, and that you actually mean that. I know it's enevitable though, and I wanted to, so there's really no point in waiting," she said, grinning up at him before reaching up to kiss him again.

Moving his hands to her waist as she moved hers to his chest, Lucas gathered his self-control, and pushed her back. "Our breakfast is going to get cold," he said, and though he would have loved to go back to bed and spend all day there, he knew she had things to do, things she was avoiding. He had things to do, too, and he was going to have to work fast if he was going to get it done by the time she got home later.

Sighing, she nodded and followed him to the dining room table. She knew that was his way of telling her he wasn't going to let her get away with not going to get Jenny today. On top of the fact that she shouldn't avoid things that were going to be hard, it would break the little girls heart if she didn't get to spend time with Peyton. "You're right," she answered simply, also telling him more than just that simple phrase.

After they finished eating, they showered, separately, and Lucas left when Peyton was still getting ready to go. She heard the door open again a few moments later, and footsteps on the stairs, then Lucas poked his head around the doorway. "The guy who says he's your brother is on your porch. Do you want me to make him leave?" Lucas asked, the look in his eyes leaving it completely up to her.

For a moment, Peyton really did consider it, but then she shook her head, her wet curls hitting her in the face. "No, I'll take care of it. Thank you, though," she said finally. She wasn't sure she was ready for this confrontation, but it was coming, ready or not, and she knew that her counselor would encourage her to gather her courage and talk to the guy anyway. He blew her a kiss, and she returned with a giddy grin, before he left.

Taking her time getting ready, Peyton thought about what she was going to say, but really, she came up with nothing. She waited until she could put it off no longer, or she wouldn't get back to Tree Hill until way later than she wanted to, before she grabbed her purse and her keys, stepping out onto the front porch. He was still there, and he stood when she stepped onto the porch.

Both blondes just stared at each other, trying to come to terms with the fact that they were related to the other person. Peyton could hardly believe it. She had a brother, and he was here, in Tree Hill. She had never really expected it, especially after he hung up on her, but even before that, she had always kind of felt like he didn't exist. "You hung up on me," she finally broke the silence.

Slowly, he nodded. "Yeah, I'm sorry about that," he replied. She didn't say anything, waiting for some kind of explanation. That was really all he had to say about that? He seemed to realize what she was waiting for. "Well, I mean, you kind of surprised me. I've known about you for a while, but for you to just call, out of the blue like that, it made the whole thing real, I guess," he paused, wondering if she understood.

Taking a deep breath before she could say anything, he ran a hand through his blonde locks, his blue eyes studying her, not in the intense way that reminded her of Lucas's gaze, but still, unsettling. "Can we start over?" he asked, then before she could decline, he held out his hand. "Hi, I'm Derek. I'm your brother," he said, looking at her expectantly, waiting for her to shake his hand.

Almost laughing at the absurdity, she realized that maybe they should start over. She hadn't been very nice last night. "Hi, I'm Peyton," she finally said, taking his hand and shaking it. "I'd say we could hang out, but I've got to go. Maybe sometime this week, though. Give me a call. I am in the phone book, as I imagine you know, since you found my address," she said, letting go of his hand and stepping towards her car.

With a last wave toward her brother, she got in the car she was still slowly getting used to, and starting driving, wishing for a longer drive, but at the same time, wishing she didn't have to make the drive. She looked forward to seeing Jenny, but she did not look forward to seeing her ex... boyfriend, she guessed, since the marriage had never been official. Could she really only call Jake an ex-boyfriend, though? It was strange.

Of course, the drive didn't take any longer than normal, and before she knew it, she was parked into the house which Jake lived in, with Brooke as his roommate, and Nikki, whom she realized now was always there, as his girlfriend. She got out of her car and walked to the door, surprised when Nikki opened it, not because she didn't expect that now, but because she'd never noticed that Nikki was always there when Peyton was.

By the look on Nikki's face, she knew that Brooke had indeed come home and spilled about what had happened the night before. She could tell Nikki wasn't sure whether she should apologize or act like nothing happened. "Do you love him?" she asked, before Nikki could decide anything, because she'd realized that was the only question that mattered. Nikki nodded, and Peyton did, too. "Okay then, that's all I need to know," she said.

Eyes widening, Peyton could tell Nikki was surprised by this. She had probably expected a fight like the fight Peyton had had with Brooke. "Really?" she drew out the word, as if she didn't believe it for a second, and Peyton remembered the last time they were on the porch, when Peyton had thought that Jake was with Brooke, and Nikki had asked the same question. Peyton had been hesitant then.

Now though, she was absolutely sure that she was okay with it. She didn't know why Brooke was different than Nikki, but for some reason, the whole situation was definitely different. "No," she said, watching Nikki's face fall. "I do need to know a little bit more, but I really am okay with it. I honestly can't believe I was so blind all that time, that I didn't see it," she added, smirking at her friend.

The smile that spread across Nikki's face was worth the joking. She was glad to see her friend happy, and she could tell that Jake really did make Nikki happy. She wasn't going to come between that. She knew what it was like when someone interfered with you being with the one you love, and she also knew that it was usually only a matter of time anyway, no matter who interfered.

Laughing at the irony of it, Peyton stopped when she noticed the look on Nikki's face. "I was just remembering back in my junior year, when Brooke and I sent you on the wild goose chase to get you away from Jake and Jenny. Brooke and I were best friends, and you were our enemy. God, you were such a psycho bitch back then," she said, because she knew that Nikki knew that as well, and it wouldn't offend her.

Also realizing that Nikki didn't get where she was going, she continued. "Well, I mean, who ever would have thought back then that I, who was so in love with Jake and wanted nothing more than for you to disappear, would be telling you to be with him now, and Brooke, who was my best friend, and hated you as well, would be Jake's roommate, and now my enemy? It's strange the way life works," she mused.

Understanding what Peyton meant, Nikki nodded, but didn't say anything. She still felt bad that Brooke and Peyton were fighting, and she felt bad because Peyton had found out about her and Jake through Brooke. She had thought Peyton knew, though, or she would have come right out and told her. "Really, Nikki, I'm glad we're friends now, and I just want you to be happy. Just don't break his heart," Peyton said, turning serious now.

Turning serious herself, Nikki nodded, knowing exactly what it meant for Peyton to be giving her blessing. Peyton still loved Jake, though it was a platonic love now, and she'd do anything to protect him, because of all those years he'd spent protecting her. Peyton hadn't wanted Brooke to date Jake because she was afraid that Brooke would break Jake's heart. She was trusting Nikki not to. "Thanks, Peyton, really, that means a lot," she said sincerely.

Smiling now, Peyton bumped her shoulder into Nikki's. "I know, doesn't it," she teased, but she did have something else to say before changing the mood of the moment. "I honestly believe he never stopped loving you," she said, holding her hand up at Nikki's protest. "I'm not saying the love Jake and I shared was any less valid, but I think we were both afraid of getting hurt by the ones our hearts truly belonged to," she finished.

Considering the words, Nikki didn't show any emotion one way or another, so Peyton didn't know if Nikki believed her or not, but she had been thinking about that a lot. It came with going to regular counseling sessions. One began to analyze everything about their life. "Let's go inside now, okay? I have a little girl I'm dying to see," she said, heading into the house to end all the heavy conversation.

Heading straight for Jenny's room, Peyton did not expect to see Jake waiting for her. She blew out a sigh, knowing that she shouldn't have hoped to avoid this, even if hoping was exactly what she'd been doing. She didn't say anything, just stopped in her tracks, leaving Jake to break the silence. "Can we talk, Peyton?" he finally did, and gestured toward the stairs she'd been about to go up, indicating they should sit.

Hesitant, she watched as he sunk onto the third step from the bottom. She bit her lip, but then decided she might as well talk to him. It had to happen sometime, especially if they were really going to be friends again. She sat next to him and leaned against the wall, turning her body slightly so she was facing him. She kept her arms crossed around her middle. "What's on your mind, Jake?" she asked, as if she didn't know.

Staring for a minute, he realized that she seemed more carefree than she had ever been when they had been together. She still had her barriers, yeah, but she was happier than she'd ever been with him, and he realized that maybe they had never been truly happy together. They had had their share of good moments, and they were definitely happy, but maybe the whole thing had turned out for the best.

As he came to that realization, she heaved a sigh, and he realized he was just staring at her. He cleared his throat, and glanced away. "I'm sorry about what happened between you and Brooke. She used to be your best friend. Maybe one day the two of you can get that back," he said, and he knew she would understand what he was really offering. Maybe one day the two of them could be friends again as well.

Smiling, she understood his true meaning, and nodded. "I'd really like that," she said, and the smile fell off of her face as she thought of Brooke. "There may be hope for our friendship yet, but I really don't think Brooke and I are going to recover from this. Too much has happened, that we can't seem to forgive each other for, and as long as she's still in love with Lucas, she can never be truly happy for me," she shrugged.

Taking a moment to gather her thoughts, Peyton went on. "Really, Jake, I want you to be happy, and I think Nikki is the one that will do that for you. I'm glad you guys finally found your way back to each other," she said sincerely, pausing for a moment, to make her real point. "Until Brooke can say something like that to me, then I don't think I'll be able to call her my best friend again," she bit her lip, looking away.

For a moment, there was silence, and then she felt Jake's arms around her shoulders, and he pulled her into a friendly hug. He knew, without her saying, exactly how much it hurt her to lose her best friend. He did know her better than either of them gave him credit for. "Peyton, I am happy for you. I can tell that you're happier with Lucas than you ever were when we were together, and I just want you happy," he said, pulling away.

With a sad smile, she looked at him again. "I really am sorry for the way things happened between us, Jake. I really think that if the accident hadn't happened, and there was no Nikki, no Lucas, we could have been happy together. We were happy together," she was quick to add, because she didn't want to make it seem like she hadn't been happy. "It just wasn't fated for us," she finished simply.

Fortunately for her, he understood completely, and he gestured for her to go on up the stairs. "Jenny's been ready for you to get here since before breakfast this morning. I think if we make her wait any longer, she's going to be mad to realize that you were here and didn't tell her," he laughed, and she knew that things were going to be okay between the two of them, and between her and Nikki.

When she got to Jenny's room, the little girl was indeed waiting, and she launched herself into Peyton's arms as soon as the door opened practically. She started talking excitedly, as she always did when she saw Peyton, telling her everything that had happened since the last time Peyton had seen her. Peyton talked to Jenny often on the phone, so she had heard most of the stories, but she pretended she hadn't as she gathered the little girl's things.

The pair left like that, with Jenny babbling incessantly, and Peyton listening and exaggerating her emotions in just the way the little girl wanted her too. She looked back after she got Jenny settled in the car, and she saw Jake and Nikki standing on the porch. Jake was behind her with her arms around her waist, and Nikki's hands were clasped over his. His chin rested on her shoulder and she kept glancing at him adoringly.

Someone walking by on the street would have thought Peyton Jenny's biological mother, and Nikki Jenny's step mom, and they definitely would have been able to see the love that Nikki and Jake shared. Peyton could see it, too, and it made her smile as she waved, getting in her car driving away, instantly taken up in Jenny's stories again as she navigated the roads back to her home, away from the home she had lived in for years.

Just as she was getting on the freeway, Peyton got a call from Lucas. He didn't say much, but inquired when she would be home. Peyton, her curiosity peaked, told him when she should be arriving, and then asked why he wanted to know. He was mysterious, saying only that he had a surprise for her. She normally didn't like surprises, but coming from Lucas, she knew it would be nothing bad, and she was now even more anxious to get home.

**A/N: **_Well, what do you think the surprise is? Hmm, I guess y'all will have to wait until the next chapter to find out. I realized that Nathan and Haley have disappeared a little bit, and I'll try to bring them into the next chapter as well. I have to have at least all of the core 5 in my fic. Tree Hill is not the same without them. Anyway, hope y'all liked the chapter, and hope you review. Thanks for the reviews for the last chapter._

**Disclaimer: **_I don't own anything._


	17. Ch15: The Comet is Back

When Peyton got home, she noticed that the tow truck Lucas used to drive in high school and usually only drove now if his car was in the shop or something, was parked in front of her house. She wondered why as she took Jenny's hand and led her into the house. She didn't get more than twenty steps inside before Lucas called out for her to stop where she was. She did, and a few seconds later she saw him coming from around the corner. "Close your eyes," he demanded, and she looked cautiously at Jenny before following his instructions.

The little brunette had no answers to offer, so Peyton looked back at Lucas again, who repeated his instruction. "Come on, Peyton," he stepped forward and clasped her hand. "I've got a surprise for you. I promise that you won't regret this. I won't let you run into any walls or anything. Just close your eyes. I've got you," he squeezed her hand, and suddenly this became more of a trust exercise than anything. They were both now wondering if she really trusted him like she said she did. She immediately closed her eyes, ready to follow him anywhere.

Trailing along as Lucas led Peyton through the house, Jenny was more excited about the surprise than Peyton was, or, more accurately, she showed it more. Jenny bounced along after the two, and Peyton asked her what was going on, but, after a look from Lucas she revealed nothing. Lucas led the blonde and, consequently the little girl, to the garage, where he finally told Peyton she could open her eyes. She did, and she saw her Comet, looking as good as it ever had. She felt her jaw drop in amazement, but couldn't find a single word.

Of course, the little girl didn't have that problem. She grabbed Peyton's hand, tugging to get her attention as she gaped and pointed at the car. "Mommy, Mommy, look, that's your car. Daddy said that you wouldn't be able to get it fixed. He said it was totaled, and that meant it cost more to fix than it was worth before the accident," as a very astute child, she realized what this meant, and she looked in awe up at Lucas, turning now to grab his hand and tug on it. "You fixed it, Lukey, you really fixed Mommy's car?" she asked as she tugged.

Not taking his gaze from Peyton's, Lucas nodded, but didn't immediately answer as he glanced down at Jenny first. "You spend too much time with my sister if she talked you into calling me 'Lukey' too," he winced around the word, clearly not liking it, but he ruffled the little girls' hair as he looked back up to meet Peyton's gaze. "I just couldn't accept that the car was unfixable. I knew you couldn't accept it either, so I've been spending every moment of my free time since the accident working on this car," he gestured toward it, breaking the eye contact.

Realizing that he was wondering whether or not she liked the surprise, she finally forced herself to break the shock and threw herself at him in a hug. She nearly toppled them as she lifted her feet off of the ground, but he managed to keep his balance and his arms snaked around her waist, holding her tightly. She gave him a long kiss before she remembered Jenny in the garage too. She made him set her down, and walked to the car, taking everything in. "Thank you, Lucas, this is the best thing anyone has ever done for me," she said sincerely.

Waiting patiently for only a few moments, Peyton realized her hesitation to get in had little to do with the fact that she was amazed to see her car, and more to do with the fact that she was scared to get in the car again. She knew it was ridiculous, she had driven the car for years without getting in an accident; she had no reason to fear the Comet now. She knew that fear wasn't always rational, though, and all she kept remembering at the moment was that one instance, the last time she was in the car, when she lost her baby and almost lost her life.

So lost in her thoughts, the rest of the people in the room had disappeared, and Peyton was surprised to feel a hand wrap around hers. She looked up, into Lucas's eyes, and she realized that he had immediately known what her fear would be when he had sensed her hesitation, and he was mentally kicking himself for not realizing that sooner. She didn't want him to think she didn't appreciate this though, and she suddenly realized that if Lucas was next to her, she could handle anything. She got in behind the wheel of the Comet.

Looking at him expectantly, she held her hand out for the keys to the Comet, and gestured for the two of them to get in the car. He handed her the keys and let Jenny get in the back seat. He even buckled her up before he got in himself. She waited until he had his seatbelt buckled before she pressed the button to open the garage, which he had removed from the car she had driven in to get Jenny, though she hadn't noticed it until now. She took a deep breath as the garage door opened, and cautiously backed out of the garage.

For the first few blocks, she drove slower than she needed to, knowing that she didn't have to, she had just been driving a car not five minutes ago, but something about being in the Comet made her press lighter on the gas than she normally would in any other car. She got to the first light, and she had a strong sense of déjà vu, of the last time she had been in the car, with Jenny in the backseat. She knew there were differences, for instance, Lucas was in the passenger side, not Jake, and she wasn't pregnant, but for a moment, she couldn't breathe.

Forcing herself to take a deep breath, she focused on Lucas's hand, which was resting on her leg, and she knew that right now he was the one link to the present for her. He didn't say anything, and neither did she, but when the light turned green, she slowly edged forward, and once she saw no one else was going to go, she sped up, making it through the intersection only because Lucas had his hand on her leg. She kept reminding herself that she was going to be okay, that she had Lucas with her, and somehow, she made it through a twenty minute drive.

Pulling back into her driveway, and into the garage, Peyton felt a strange sense of relief, and she knew she wouldn't have been able to handle the drive if he hadn't been for Lucas there, with her. She got out and walked around the car as he got out, and when she reached him, she threw her arms around his neck again, silently thanking him, not just for the car, and for being there for the drive, but for everything. She honestly didn't know how she would have made it through without him, and she only stayed silent because Jenny was around.

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Standing up, Haley began to pick up the now empty dinner plates, protesting when both Peyton and Lucas got up to help. She said she'd be right back with coffee for the adults. James and Jenny asked to be excused, and were allowed, because dinner was now over. They stood and James took Jenny's hand as they ran up to his room. Peyton just chuckled as Nathan watched his son go, hand in hand with Jenny. "Oh, yeah, he is so going to be like me," he nodded in satisfaction, his trademark Scott smirk on his face.

Rolling her eyes at her best friend's ego, Peyton flicked the cork from the wine bottle at him. He scowled at her when it hit him right in the forehead, and Lucas chuckled. "You mean he's going to be a complete jackass when he gets to high school. I feel bad for all the other girls his age, then, especially the poor sap that gets stuck being his girlfriend. I can only hope it won't be Jenny," she teased, dodging the cork when he threw it back at her. He probably could have hit her, if he had really wanted to, and she was thankful that he didn't.

As Haley came back into the room, a tray with four cups of coffee on it in her hands, she saw Nathan just as he threw the cork at Peyton. She cocked her head at her husband. "Hey, we hardly ever get to see these people and you show your appreciation that they came over by throwing things at them. Seriously, I can't leave you alone with guests for five minutes, can I?" she teased Peyton and Lucas for their lack of hanging out as much as she teased her husband, laughing as she passed out the coffee cups, dodging Nathan when he tried to smack her butt.

Making a face at Haley, Peyton turned to Lucas, tilting her head as she replied to him. "You know what; I guess we shouldn't have come over here then. All we're getting is insulted and abused," her tone held just as much teasing as Haley's had, of course, and she stuck her tongue out at Nathan as she subconsciously scooted closer to Lucas. She just sometimes felt the need to be even closer to him and this had been one of those moments. She saw Nathan and Haley share a look and knew what she had done, but she didn't say anything and neither did they.

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Sitting on the back porch, Haley looked up when her best friend joined her. She patted the seat next to her on the swing. Nathan and Peyton were having their own bonding moment, so Lucas and Haley were probably going to have one of their own moments. Haley nudged him with her shoulder when he sat down. "Hey, you, it's been a while since we've had a chat. That really was a great thing you did for Peyton, you know. Not just the car, but all of it. I know you're going to say you love her, but I love her too, and I couldn't have done what you did," she said.

Shrugging, Lucas tried to look like it was no big deal, but they both knew it was. He looked out over the lawn, trying to figure out a way to explain his need to keep Peyton safe, or even his need to have Peyton in his life. He couldn't really find any. It was just indescribable. "I just needed her back, Hales, and that's it. Even though I was with Brooke for so long, I never felt like this about Brooke. When I thought I might lose Peyton, that just put things into perspective for me, that's all," he finally said, figuring she would know what he was talking about.

Thinking of Nathan, Haley nodded that she did get it. She knew that wasn't the real reason that she had come out here to be alone a little while ago, though. She had known for a week now, and now was the time to tell her best friend. She knew it wasn't him that might be disappointed by the news, though. She took a deep breath. "Listen, I have something to tell you, and I know you'll be happy for me, but you let me know if Peyton won't be able to handle it right now, and I'll go get Nathan right now and stop him from telling her," she started.

As Haley babbled around the subject, without actually telling him what it was she needed to tell him, Lucas wondered what it was that would get her so nervous, or what would make her think that Peyton would be anything but happy for her with any news she had to give. He considered this for a moment, and all Peyton had been through, and he came to the correct conclusion before Haley even had to say it. He grinned and pulled her into a hug. "Hales, that is great, and I doubt she'll be anything but as happy for you as I am," he said.

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As they stood out by the car, Peyton gushing about how great Lucas was, she realized that Nathan was being even quieter than he normally would be, and she knew it had less to do with the fact that she wouldn't shut up about his brother, and more to do with the fact that he had something to tell her. She knew that if it was just the former, he would be teasing her, he wouldn't be staying silent. She hip checked him and cocked an eyebrow as she tilted her head. "What's on your mind, Nathan, and don't tell me nothing. I know you, remember," she said.

Taking a deep breath, Nathan idly ran his hand over the car, trying to decide if he should just blurt out the news, or if he should beat around the bush for a while. He knew Peyton would not appreciate the latter, but he was worried about her reaction. He was so pleased with the news, though, so he decided to just say it, and deal with however he reacted later. "I know you know me, Sawyer," he paused, and then just said it. "Well, we just found out the other day, but Haley's pregnant again," he said, trying to gauge her reaction.

The wave of pain that washed over her as she considered this was relatively small, and she was able to ignore it and put on a smile that wasn't entirely forced. She pulled Nathan into a hug as she tried to pull her expression together. "That's really great, Nathan, but if you don't follow that up by asking me to be godmother, then I might have to rethink my reaction," she really was only teasing, but she saw by his reaction that he had been about to do that. "Nathan, that's really awesome. I would love to be godmother," she gushed, pulling him into another hug.

A few minutes later, the front door opened, and Haley, with Lucas close behind, poked her head out the door. "Hey, we just checked on the kids, and you've really got to see this. It's so cute," Haley said, gesturing for the two of them to come in. Nathan and Lucas went right up the stairs, so Lucas could congratulate Nathan, and so the girls could have a moment alone. Peyton grabbed Haley's arm and linked hers through it pulling her back as Haley tried to follow the guys. "So, did he get to tell you?" Haley asked cautiously, knowing the answer.

Knowing that Haley was fishing for a reaction more than an answer, she turned to Haley with a grin, pulling them both to a stop. "I couldn't be happier for you guys, Hales. If anyone deserves it, it's the two of you. To be honest, I was surprised that you guys waited this long to have another. I would have thought nature would have taken its course by now," she teased, becoming more serious as she went on. "I would be honored to be the godmother, really, it couldn't make me happier," she told Haley, honestly meaning it.

There was an undercurrent there, and both women knew it wouldn't be easy for Peyton, even if she was being honest about being happy to be the godmother. Peyton was willing to deal with whatever she had to go through, though, because it really meant a lot that Haley and Nathan would choose her to be the godmother to their second child. She had understood at the time why Brooke had been James's godmother, but it had still kind of hurt, though she would never admit that to anyone. She would do her best as the godmother to the new baby.

Before either woman could say anything else, Nathan reappeared at the top of the stairs. "You are going to want to see this, Peyt, believe me. You want to see this," he gestured for the two of them to come up. Peyton glanced at Haley, who had a knowing smile on her face now that Nathan had reminded her of what they had been going up the stairs for anyway, and she started up the stairs again, following Nathan to James's room, peeking in when she got there. She couldn't stop the grin that formed on her face and she wanted to 'aw' but she didn't want to disturb them.

Looking at Haley, who had the same look on her face, and then at Nathan, who looked smug and amuses, Peyton finally glanced at Lucas, who was looking at her, torn between being amused by the sight in the room, and concerned for her, regarding the news they had just gotten. She sent him a smile before looking at the pair of children again. Jenny and James were laying side by side, their hands still linked together as they slept. "I'm just glad it's not anything worse, because, as Nathan earlier pointed out, this is his son," she couldn't resist teasing.

Scowling at her, Nathan resisted from saying anything back, and she walked into the room and picked up the little girl, which woke up both of the children, of course, and Nathan entered the room and picked up his son, taking him over to the bed, as Haley followed him into the room, going to the dresser and getting out a pair of pajamas to put on James. Peyton and Lucas shared a look and decided to leave the parents alone. "We'll see you guys later. I've got to get this one home," Peyton stepped forward and put a hand on Haley's still flat stomach. "I'll see you later too, goddaughter or godson," she said, leading Lucas from the room.

**A/N: **_I was surprised by the Naley pregnancy, as I'm sure some of you were. I had intended to have Peyton interact with her brother, but I guess that will have to wait until next chapter. For now you guys will have to enjoy this chapter which was full of Naley love. Not that I don't like chapters like these, I just didn't expect it to happen, really. I guess that's just how it goes sometimes. I don't control the writing, it controls me. Hope y'all like the chapter, and leave lots of reviews!_

**Disclaimer: **_I don't own anything._


	18. Ch16: A New Business

Two months went by without anymore incident. Peyton and Lucas were still going strong, and Peyton was still working at Tric. Nikki brought Jenny by to see her every chance she got, now that Peyton knew about her and Jake, and they were trying to work their way towards a better friendship. Peyton was even talking to her brother, and had hung out with him quite a bit too.

Things looked perfect on the surface for Peyton, and inside, things were pretty great, but something just wasn't right, and if she was honest with herself, she knew what it was. She was missing Brooke. Brooke had been out of her life for a number of years, but mostly that had been because they had drifted apart. Now she knew that Brooke was avoiding her because she hated her, like when they had been fighting during their junior year. She knew she was harboring her own bit of anger at Brooke, but she really wished that she could have her best friend back.

Nathan was a really good best friend, but he wasn't a girl. Haley was great, too, but she just didn't have the history with Haley. Lucas was amazing, but it wasn't like she could talk to him when she was mad at him, or when she just wanted a girl gossip session, about him. Her brother was actually a pretty good friend, too, but she hadn't been able to let him in all the way yet, though she was slowly trying.

She knew the real problem, with all of those people, and with anyone else in her life. If she was really being honest with herself, she knew they just weren't Brooke. No one could replace Brooke in the blonde's heart, and nothing and no one had never been able to, nor would be able to. She wondered if Brooke felt the same way, or if she'd already found a new best friend.

Trying not to get jealous, she wondered if Brooke and Nikki had become friends. Nikki had never mentioned hanging out with Brooke, but they had to at least be getting to know each other, with Brooke living with Jake and Nikki spending so much time there. They had to at least be on a talking basis, or there was no way Nikki would let Brooke live with Jake.

Turning away from that train of though, Peyton tried to focus on the moment she was in instead. She looked around the room again, trying to see if she could picture having an art studio in here. She needed a certain person's opinion. She looked down at her phone as it rang, and smiled as it was exactly the person she had been thinking of.

Flipping open her phone, she put it up to her ear. "Hey, brother, how is it going?" she paused, listening to his answer. "Actually, I don't think it really matters that you didn't find anything. I think I did," she paused again, and after a moment, gave him the address. "Yeah, I really think it could be the place where we could open a studio together. You'll do photography and I'll do portraits. We could make a lot of money here, and the price is right," she spoke with him for another moment, then got off the phone.

As she waited for Derek to get to the studio, she called the realtor, who was in another part of the building, giving Peyton a chance to look it over, as Peyton had requested, over to where she was. The woman asked her what she thought. "Well, I think it's almost a done deal. I called my brother over here, and he still has to see the building, but I'm in love with it," she announced.

Nodding, the woman looked around the room, too, before settling her gaze on Peyton. "Any other questions for me before your brother gets here?" she asked, and Peyton shook her head after a moment of thought. "Well, do you mind telling me what you want to do with this building? I don't mean to be nosy, just curious," she was quick to add, with a warm smile.

When her brother arrived, he agreed with her. The space was perfect for what they intended to use it for. Peyton, Derek and realtor began to go over the details, and after about an hour, they parted, with the promise that the papers would be drawn up to everyone's advantage. Peyton and Derek left the building, and Peyton's car was right in front. "I have to get to Tric for work, but we should get together to celebrate later. I'm sure Lucas would love to join us," she grinned and waved.

Getting in her car, she drove off. She was totally at ease with driving her Comet again. She actually couldn't believe that she had ever not been. The Comet had been a part of her life for so long, it was hard to imagine being scared of it. She really had a hard time believing that she had sunk so far as she did, but she also knew that without Lucas, her friends and her brother, she never would have gotten better.

Speaking of Lucas, she decided it was time to call him. She hit the speed dial, putting the phone in her lap as she drove, making sure to pay attention to the road as she did. "Hey, babe, so you should meet me at Tric, I have some great news. We're celebrating tonight," she grinned, pausing for his response. "Well, I'm driving now, but I'll be at Tric in a minute. See you when you get there," she hung up.

Yes, they had been dating for some time, and she knew she was in love with him, but they hadn't taken that step yet, exactly. She knew he loved her, and she knew that he knew she loved him, but they hadn't said it out loud yet. She was kind of waiting for the perfect moment, and it just hadn't happened. She was wondering if maybe tonight would be that night.

When she got to Tric, he was already there, waiting in the parking lot, and she felt that familiar flutter of her heart as she caught sight of him. She got out of her car, her eyes raking over his tall, lean form. He was leaning against his vintage Mustang, wearing a red tee-shirt and jeans, which were worn in all the right places. His hair had grown to just the length where she could run her fingers through it, and he hadn't shaved in a couple of days, giving him the sexy, scruffy look.

As Peyton walked up, Lucas checked her out, just as he knew she was doing. She was wearing tight jeans with her Converse, and a black tank top. Her hair was up in a pony tail and she didn't have much make-up on, but he still couldn't help the fact that his heart sped up at the sight of her. He pushed off of the car, and didn't bother with verbal greetings, gathering her up in his arms, and then pulling her into a kiss.

Grinning as she broke the kiss, Peyton played with the hair at the nape of his neck. "Well, I think it's actually going to happen. Derek and I found a building that would be perfect, and between the money I got from my dad, and the money he's ready to put up, I think we can start our own business. I can have any actual career," she said excitedly.

Getting caught up in her happiness, Lucas picked her up and spun her around, placing another kiss on her lips. She was giggling when he finally set her back on her feet. "That is great, Peyt, I really am so happy for you," he said, his blue eyes studying her intensely. She knew there was a but there, and waited. "Are you still sure you want to go into business with Derek?" he asked.

Sucking in a deep breath, Peyton pulled away from him, walking toward the building. "Yes," she threw over her shoulder simply as she walked away. Lucas ran after her, grabbing her arm. "Luke, we've had this conversation before, and I don't want to have it again. This is my family, the only person I have left in the world. If I can't trust him," she trailed off. "I just would like your support," she sighed, pulling out of his grip.

This time she made it into the building before he caught up to her, and he just kept pace as she kept walking. "Peyton," he said, and the sincerity in his tone made her stop and look at him. "I'm sorry. It's just something about him," he cut himself off, knowing she didn't want to hear it. "I'll try to be more accepting of him," he conceded.

Nodding, she accepted his apology. "Alright, I'll let it go. Only because I know you're just looking out for me, and that is very sexy," she smirked at him. The smirk slowly slipped off of her face. "I just don't want to fight about him anymore, Luke," she spoke, getting lost in his blue eyes. "And I really really want to kiss you right now," she said, and then did just that.

"Hey , Peyton, are you here yet?" Haley's voice got louder as she approached the hallway where Lucas and Peyton were. She rounded the corner and saw the blondes. "Yes, you are. Well, when you get finished making out with Lucas, can you meet me in your office?" she asked, placing a hand on her stomach that was barely protruding as she turned around and headed back for Peyton's office.

The two continued to make-out for a few more moments. They had heard their pregnant friend, but they had chose to ignore her for the time being. Peyton finally pulled away, leaning her forehead against Lucas's, the tips of their noses barely touching. She smiled up at him, green and blue eyes connected. "I should really go see what she wants. Pick me up when you're done with what you have to do. We'll have to celebrate with everyone soon, but tonight I want a nice dinner with you and my brother. Can we all handle that?" she asked, one eyebrow cocked.

Not rising up to the challenge, Lucas reached up, cupping her face in both of his hands, and placed a gentle kiss on her lips. "I'll see you later, Peyton," he said, before letting her go, and walking through the club. She had a feeling he was going to talk to his mom, but at the moment she couldn't follow him, because the nausea that had been haunting her all day became too much to bear.

Running into her office, and past Haley, she made it to her private bathroom just in time, before she emptied her stomach into the toilet. Lucas hadn't heard her start running, as he'd already been out of earshot before she had needed to, but Haley was at her side in a few moments, holding her hair back.

When Peyton was finished, she sat back against the wall for a moment, trying to gather her strength. Haley flushed the toilet, because it was causing her own tender stomach to churn, and then sat next to Peyton, looking at her, concerned. "Well, I know that I've always thought kissing Lucas was barf-worthy, but I didn't think you did," she finally broke the silence, trying to lighten the mood.

Opening her eyes, which had been closed since she had started leaning against the wall, Peyton studied her friend. "Very funny Hales. I think I'm getting the flu or something. I was sick yesterday, too. For the past couple days in fact," she trailed off, and then shrugged it off. "I'm feeling better now. I'm glad I keep a tooth brush and toothpaste in my purse. Don't worry about me Hales, stress is not good for my godchild," she got up and then helped the brunette up.

Staring at Peyton, Haley had a feeling there was something Peyton wasn't mentioning, but after staring at her for a moment, Haley decided she was either in denial, or just really good as lying to herself if that was the case, so Haley decided to leave it alone. "Well, I guess I should get to the reason I'm here," she paused, waiting until Peyton finished brushing her teeth.

Looking over at the brunette, Peyton could tell something was really up. She could tell that Haley was nervous, wringing her fingers and avoiding Peyton's gaze. She didn't know what it could be that Haley would be this nervous about. "Hales, whatever it is, it's okay. Just tell me. You're kinda freaking me out here," she said, nudging the brunette with her shoulder, thinking it couldn't possibly be that bad.

Taking a deep breath, Haley decided to just delve right into the subject. "Well, um, Peyton, you know Jamie's birthday party is coming up in a few weekends," she started and Peyton nodded, not seeing the problem. She had a few sarcastic remarks sitting on the tip of her tongue, but decided not to voice them. "Well, Brooke will be there," Haley finally spat out.

Shocked into silence, Peyton couldn't really say anything for a moment, and Haley, always a rambler when nervous, just kept talking. "I mean, she is his godmother, Peyton, and she wants to be there, and he wants her there. I know it's going to be hard for you, but I already told her she has to be on her best behavior, and," she cut herself off after receiving a look from Peyton. "I'm sorry," she apologized for rambling and for everything else.

Finally regaining her voice, Peyton just shook her head. "No need to be sorry, Hales," she said, pasting on a smile that Haley didn't buy for a second. "Alright, yeah, it'll be a little tough, but, like you said, she's Jamie's Godmother. She should be at his birthday parties. I promise to be on my best behavior as well. No catfights," she said.

After another moment of examining Peyton, Haley finally just shook her head slowly in awe. "You know, Peyton Sawyer, you really are a pretty amazing person. I don't know if I would have had the strength to go through everything you went through and still be able to do all you do," she said, not letting Peyton protest as she backed away with a wave. "I'll see you later," she added, and she was gone.

Shaking her head, trying to figure out what to do with that last bit of information, Peyton moved into her office and sat behind her desk again. She had trouble focusing for a while, but she finally was able to immerse herself in work for a few hours before she had to go home to get ready for her celebratory dinner with Derek and Lucas.

A little while later, she was just finishing up getting ready when there was a knock on the door. She called for whoever it was to come in, and finished zipping up her boots. She looked in the mirror. She was wearing a white tiered skirt that ended just above her knees, and a blue halter top. Her curly hair was left down, cut to just above her shoulders now, and her make-up was simple. "Beautiful," she heard a voice, and, looking in the mirror behind her, saw her brother standing in the doorway.

For a moment she felt a little awkward, not because he had called her beautiful, but because of the tone of his voice, but she quickly shrugged that of, when she heard the footsteps coming up the stairs. She knew it had to be Lucas. He didn't knock anymore, because he was at her house so much anyway, and he never had knocked really, since her door was always open, and she only rarely heard anyone knocking. "You guys are lucky. I'm already ready. Let's go," she said, when Lucas appeared at the top of the stairs.

Less than twenty minutes later, they were seated at the Café. It wasn't the most expensive place in Tree Hill, and Peyton had already taken her brother to the Café multiple times, but they all agreed that it had the best food. Peyton and Lucas were sitting on one side of the booth, while Derek sat across from them. "So, I still can't believe this. We're actually going into business together. This is going to be great," she grinned, once the waitress had taken their orders and left.

Lucas took her hand and started playing with her fingers, and she glanced at him, sending him a smile, but didn't say anything. Derek was acting kind of weird, almost nervous, and he didn't say anything either, so Lucas took it upon himself to speak. "So what kind of paperwork did you guys get done today?" he asked, looking at Derek curiously.

It appeared that Derek wasn't going to answer, so Peyton took it upon herself to answer, while silently wondering what was going on with her brother. She had never seen him in a mood like this before. "Well, we got the contracts mostly drawn up, and I put down a sizable down payment. Most of it is done, just the signing of the papers, and the realtor will call when they're ready," she said.

The waitress came with their drinks, and Derek changed the subject after. He continued to spend the entire night changing the subject whenever the new business came up. Even Peyton, who was trying not to see anything suspicious about him, couldn't help but notice how fishy that was. The rest of the evening went like that, and Lucas, who was not a fan of Derek under normal circumstances, had to try really hard not to say anything.

The three of them parted after dinner, with Lucas and Peyton going to her house to watch a movie, and Derek claiming he was tired and going to his hotel room. Peyton changed into one of his shirts and an old pair of cheer shorts and Lucas changed into some pajama pants, because he kept clothes at her house, and they settled on the couch with a blanket to watch a movie.

They had actually sat through most of it, while actually watching it, before Lucas looked down at Peyton and realized how close she was to falling asleep. Her eyes were at half-mast and fixed on the screen, but he knew she wasn't really feeling anything. He couldn't help but chuckle at how cute she was, and that, in effect, drew her attention. "You are so cute, Peyton Sawyer, but there's no point finishing this movie. You're not taking it in," he leaned down and kissed her nose.

For a moment she opened her mouth, like she was going to retort, but she was caught up in a yawn before she could say anything. He laughed at her, and she nodded. "Okay, maybe you're right. Let's go to my room, then," she said, but she was really to tired to move immediately, and he sensed that.

Grabbing the remote, Lucas stopped the movie and turned off the TV and DVD player. He then scooped his girlfriend up into his arms, and took her upstairs. She would normally protest him carrying her, but this time she was tired enough that she just wrapped her arms around him and nestled her face in the crook of his neck, taking in a deep breath of his scent. "I love you, Lucas Scott," she mumbled without realizing it.

Freezing for a moment, he just kept on going up the stairs. He had heard her, but that was going to have to be a conversation for another time, for when she was more awake. He wanted to say it back, but he wanted to say it back when she was aware of him saying it, aware of herself saying it. He just placed a kiss on her head instead, and gently placed her in the bed when he got there.

Covering her with the blanket, he climbed in with her, and she immediately cuddled up to him. He whispered the words she had just spoken back to her, glad to finally say them out loud, even if she wasn't really conscious at the moment. He closed his eyes, and was just about to drift to sleep, when a ringing sounded throughout the room.

Startling Peyton, she fumbled around for the alarm clock, but then realized that it was the phone, when Lucas picked it up. "Peyton Sawyer's house," he answered, as she settled back into him, sure that he would be able to handle who ever it was that was calling at the late hour. "Uh, hold on a second," he pulled the phone away from his ear. "Peyton, babe, wake up. This guy says he's your brother, and he wants to talk to you," he said, giving her the phone.

Sitting up, trying to wake herself up, she put the phone to her ear. "Hey, Derek, what's up?" she asked, but the voice that responded wasn't familiar. She paused as she listened to the guy. "Wait, what do you mean you want to meet me? I've known you for over a month now," her brow kinked as she became confused. "Well, if you're my brother, then who the heck did I just go into business with?"

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Haley woke up and had to run straight for the bathroom. She was used to it by now, and so was Nathan, who followed after her, to hold back her hair and just comfort her, getting her whatever she would need. She finished vomiting and thanked her husband, telling him she would meet him in bed in a moment. She brushed her teeth, trying to shake off the last vestiges of sleep, because she knew she wouldn't be able to fall back to sleep.

Something was bugging her, but she couldn't think of what it was. She spit in the sink, and then it hit her. Her toothbrush dropped out of her hand in surprise. Peyton had been throwing up? And from what she had said, it had been going on for a few days, and otherwise she seemed fine. Surely Peyton would have figured it out on her own, though, if that was the case. Haley decided she would wait it out, but if the symptoms continued, she would have a talk with her blonde friend.

**A/N: **_So, it has been soooo long since I've updated this fic. The same could be said for my other fic, Luke and Peyt Plus Eight. I am sorry about that, but I have a lot going on lately, moving and graduation and the like. I think what I'm going to do right now, is focus on this one until I get it finished, because the ending is only a few chapters away, I'm pretty sure. Then I'll see what I feel like writing from there. I want to get a couple of the fics I'm working on done, because I think I've got a bit too much on my plate, writing wise, right now, combined with everything else. Well, tell me what you think, if anyone is still reading. As always, I love to hear your feedback!_

**Disclaimer: **_I don't own anything._


	19. Ch17: Psychos and Headstones

After spending her time praying to the porcelain god, so to speak, she took a shower and went downstairs, glad that Lucas hadn't stayed the night last night. She had been making him go home lately, because she seemed to be puking more and more. She knew in the back of her mind what it probably was, but she refused to really see that as the reason. She knew she was in denial, but with everything else going on, she couldn't handle that right now.

It had been a few days-almost a week-since she had gotten the call from the guy who said he was her brother, and she still didn't know what to believe. She did know for sure that the guy who had claimed to be her brother wasn't, but did she really want to try to get close to someone else, when it always seemed to end in disaster? She just didn't know anymore.

Sitting on the couch and placing her elbows on her knees, she put her face in her hands, wondering what her next move was going to be. She wasn't sure if she would be able to handle doing this whole business, now that she didn't have a partner. It was supposed to be a way for her to bond with the guy she shared DNA with, and then it had all gone up in flames.

Even though she tried her hardest not to, she could still remember the night following the night of the phone call. She had tried to block it out, but there was something in her mind that kept replaying the memory, almost as if she was subconsciously trying to get herself to realize something. She just wanted to move on, but right now she wasn't sure she could.

_FLASHBACK_

_Sitting in her desk at Tric, she couldn't really focus on what she was supposed to be focusing on. She kept replaying the phone conversation from last night. After she had told Lucas that the guy had said he was her brother, she had told the guy on the phone that she would have to call him back, and she had quickly hung up. Lucas had told her he had something to take care of, and then he'd changed and left. She barely noticed, as lost in her thoughts as she was._

_Now she was still thinking about Derek, if that was even his name, and wondering how the heck he knew who she was? How did he know she was looking for her brother? These were the questions she just couldn't figure out. She looked up when she heard the door close, and she saw that her thoughts had seemed to bring him to life. She stared for a moment, and he stepped forward. "Who are you?" she asked, the first words she thought of slipping off of her tongue._

_As he continued approaching, she didn't like the aura coming off of him. She stood up out of her chair and backed up to the wall as he reached the front of her desk. He didn't bother with the pretenses anymore, because there was no reason for them. "I'm your soul mate, Peyton. Haven't you realized that? I am so much better for you than him. We should run away together, leave all this behind," he proposed._

_Shocked, Peyton just didn't know what to say. She could tell he had been holding this in the whole time, and she wondered how she had never seen it before, how she had never realized that he wasn't being completely honest, how she hadn't noticed that he was holding all that back. "I don't even know you. What makes you think you know me? How could we be perfect for each other?" she inched along the wall, trying to get further away from him, and closer to the door._

_Smacking the table, he watched as she froze, weary of his next move. Her eyes kept darting toward the door, but fear and curiosity kept her from screaming. He hadn't actually raised a hand to her. Yet. "Of course I know you, Peyton. I've heard every one of your pod casts. I know we're meant to be. You just have to trust that, and come away with me. I can make all your dreams come true," he promised, with a bit of a manic glint in his eyes._

_Now she just wanted to leave, but he was standing between her and the door, and she didn't have many options. There was no one in the bar, because it was too late at night. She had just sent the last members of the Tric staff home not too long ago, and Karen had locked up the Café hours ago. There was no one but her in the building, because she had been stupid enough to try to avoid people._

_Trying to keep him talking while she figured out what she was going to do, Peyton swallowed, trying to figure out what to say. "I don't know you. You lied to me, this whole time. How can you do that, and still say we're meant to be? You don't lie to the one you love," she almost mentioned Lucas, and her love for him, but she had a feeling that wouldn't go over well. She was hoping to get out of this without damage._

_This time he picked something up from her desk and threw it across the room, making her jump, though she barely managed to keep herself from screaming. "How else was I supposed to get you to see the truth? You were so blinded, thinking you're in love with Lucas," he spat out the name like it was a curse word, and she flinched. "You never would have let me in, and then I heard the pod cast about your brother, and I knew I had the perfect in," his eyes were filled with love, and mania._

_Closing her eyes, Peyton took in a deep breath through her nose, and let it out through her mouth, like her counselor had taught her to do when she was fighting panic. "Please, just leave," she begged, tears slipping out from beneath her closed lids. She was scared of the look in his eyes. She didn't want to know what would happen if he lost control. She was just wishing him gone._

_Suddenly, she felt lips crashing on hers, and she hadn't even heard him move. She just stayed limp, unable to even fight him away as his arms wrapped around her tightly. The tears began falling faster. He reached up and grabbed her shoulders when she didn't respond, and began shaking her. "Come on. You have to feel it. You have to know what I know. We're meant to be. I love you, Emily," he shouted._

_Before things could get worse, Nathan entered the room, catching the guy by surprise and knocking him out with a punch. Peyton allowed Nathan to pull her into a hug as she continued crying, and they waited for help to arrive. She noticed him talking on his cell for a few moments, but she didn't hear the words. She was too lost in her own world._

_When Lucas arrived with the police, Peyton quickly dismissed herself, after giving a statement to the officers. She told Lucas that she needed to be alone, and went home, even though she wasn't sure it was the best idea. She just wasn't ready to hear the speculations about what happened. She just needed time to be on her own. She had always been like that._

_END FLASHBACK_

Ever since then, Peyton had been spending a lot of time away from Lucas. She spent her time at Tric, or at home, with her cell phone right next to her as she waited for the phone call about the building she had put the down payment on. She didn't know yet if she was going to sign the contracts and continue to make payments, or if she was going to just ask to take back her deposit, but she hoped to figure that out by the time she got the call.

For some reason, she just wasn't ready to talk to Lucas about this. She needed time, especially with what else she was keeping from him. Well, on that case she was lying to both herself and him, but she was subconsciously pushing him away because she knew she shouldn't be keeping this from him. She just couldn't make herself deal with it.

Looking up, she noticed Lucas come into the room. She smiled as she felt that familiar flutter of her heart, before she felt the rest of the emotions wash over her. She could tell he had something on his mind, so she gestured for him to sit down, and she finally realized what her subconscious had been trying to tell her. "How did you know to look for him, and how did he know that we knew the truth?" she asked.

Sighing, Lucas moved forward and entered the room. He had known this was coming, and he had been giving her space, but now he was tired of it. He didn't want to allow her to push him away anymore. He wanted their life back, and she needed the whole truth, so she could get over it. First he would have to tell her where he went that night when she had got the phone call.

_FLASHBACK_

_After leaving Peyton's, Lucas went to the hotel, where the guy who had told Peyton he was her brother was staying. He had known from the start that something wasn't right about the guy, but Peyton had trusted him, and so he had allowed her to get herself more and more involved. Well, he wasn't going to stand idly by anymore. He was going to protect her, and get this guy out of here._

_Knocking on the door, he waited until it was opened, and then punched the guy in the gut. "You need to get the hell out of town. I don't know who you are. I don't care. You even think about hurting Peyton, you're going to deal with me, and I won't be as nice next time," he said before he looked around the hotel room, noticing a display on the back wall._

_Pushing past the guy who was still on the floor from the punch, Lucas looked at the display, studying the pictures of Peyton, most of them candid in a way that told him she hadn't known they were being taken. He looked closer and noticed another picture, in the middle of the board, that wasn't Peyton, but it sure looked a lot like her. There was a caption underneath, that read simply, Emily Banks. _

_Before Lucas could mull this over in his mind, he was spun around, and received a right hook to the face. He recovered and ducked the next blow, quickly kneeing this guy in the balls and then punching him in the gut again. He had figured out what he needed to know, so he stepped over the body, headed for the door. "You better get out of here tomorrow. If I come back and you're not gone, you'll regret it," he promised before he left._

_END FLASHBACK_

Sitting there for a minute, Peyton tried to digest this. She wondered who this Emily actually was, but, of course, Lucas wasn't finished. "I didn't have much but the name, so I Googled it. I came up with a lot of stuff, but I quickly found what I was looking for. His name is Ian Banks. He escaped from a mental hospital not too long ago, where he'd been living ever since his wife died. He had computer access and TV and everything. He was basically living there for his safety, because after Emily died, he slowly started losing his mind," he stopped, looking at Peyton.

The blonde was biting her lip as she listened. She couldn't believe this. A mental patient had been listening to her pod casts, and he had made himself believe he was in love with her. Was she destined to attract only freaks, or people that would leave her? How was she ever supposed to trust other people, when she couldn't trust herself to make the right decisions about who to trust?

Unable to see her expression, Lucas went on with the story. "When I found all that out, I tried to figure out what to do with the information. I alerted the police, who said there wasn't much they could do. When I couldn't find you that night, I called Nathan, and sent him looking for you, while I went down to the police station, to convince them to help me. We went to the hotel and found nothing, and then we got the call from Nate," he finished.

Nodding, she needed some more time to digest. She also needed to call the realtor. It had been too long, she knew, for the paperwork to be drawn up. She needed to figure out what was going on, and she knew it was the perfect thing to use to distract herself from everyone else. "I have business to take care of, and I need to think. I'll see you later?" she prompted.

Staring into her eyes for a long moment, Lucas seemed to be looking right into her soul, and she had to look away, because she was afraid that he would see everything that she wasn't ready for him to see. He nodded, and she saw it out of the corner of her eye. He stood and walked over to her side of the desk, bending down to kiss the top of her head. "I'll see you later, Blondie," he said, and left the office, because he knew that was what she wanted.

Closing her eyes as he left, she waited until she could hear his footsteps no more. She wished she had gotten a chance to say those very important three words to him, but there hadn't been a moment since that night, and she was too much of a coward now. She shook that away and made the call to the realtor.

When she heard a greeting, she explained her situation, and asked what was going on. "What do you mean you can't find my file? I just put my down payment on the building. It should be right there," she said, pausing as she got an answer. "What? No, of course I didn't withdraw it. Why would I do that?" she cut herself off as she realized what must have happened. "Who authorized this?" she asked.

Once she had her answer, she quickly got off the phone, folding her arms on the desk and resting her head on them. She just didn't know what she was going to do anymore. The psycho had apparently gone into the office when a secretary was there, and removed the money she had put into the building. By now he would probably have cashed the check. He was good, she would give him that. He definitely thought things through.

Not that any of that helped her at all. She felt the tears slipping out of her eyes, as it all piled up, and she knew there was some place she had to go, some place she should have gone a long time ago. She locked up her office, got into her Comet, which made her smile at the thought of Lucas restoring it, even though the thought of Lucas was bittersweet right now, and drove to where she needed to be.

Getting out of the car, she walked over to the headstone, looking down at the name on it. She suddenly collapsed on the grass, bawling her eyes out. "Hi, baby girl," she managed to speak through the sobs. "I am so sorry I haven't been here. Momma hasn't been that great of a Momma, but it's hard, baby girl. You should be here now. I should have been able to hold you in my arms, and I'm never going to get to," she had to stop, because she lost her breath in the tears.

Getting a hold of herself, she continued to speak to her unborn daughter. "I'm not ready for this, and I don't know if I'll ever be. On the one hand, if I could choose anyone to do this with, then I would choose no one except Lucas, but still, even if I have Lucas, can I do this? I couldn't protect you, and now I just seem to be a magnet for crazies. How can I be expected to take care of anyone when I can't take care of myself?" she sniffled and wiped at the tears.

Reaching out, she traced the letters of her daughter's name. "Annabeth Angel Jagielski," she softly spoke the name as she traced it. "My Angel. I miss you so much. I know you would want me to be happy, but why does being happy feel like such a betrayal to you? I just wish you were here, and things were back to the way they were before my life fell apart," she cried.

"Do you really mean that Sawyer?" a voice asked, and she didn't need to look up to know that it was Nathan Scott behind her. The nickname alone told her, but she also knew him well enough to know that tone of voice. She didn't say a word, and he sat next to her. "If your daughter was here, you never would have found your way to Lucas," he added.

Shaking her head incredulously, Peyton finally turned her tear-stained face towards Nathan, her green eyes meeting his blue ones. She opened her mouth, but closed it for a minute before finally speaking. "I'd give anything to have my baby girl in my arms, Nathan, even if it meant giving up Lucas. At least I thought I was happy then. Everything wasn't messed up before. I don't know what I'd do without him now, but if I could change things, I wouldn't be here," she retorted.

Taking that in stride, he just nodded. "I understand you want your daughter back, but do you really want to go back to the ignorance? Do you want to go back to being naively unhappy, because you didn't realize what you were missing? Do you ant to go back to living life without the one you truly love?" he came back quickly.

Looking at the headstone in front of her, she avoided Nathan's gaze. "Don't feel like your betraying your daughter by being happy now, Peyton. You can be in love and be happy, just don't forget her. I know you won't, and you know it too, you're just scared, because you've always been scared of Lucas, and loving him, but you can't run away forever, because pretty soon you're going to forget the way back," he advised.

Then he gave up conversation altogether, hugging her and comforting her as she grieved for what she had lost. He knew she hadn't been to the headstone since the funeral, and he knew sometimes Peyton just needed to let out her emotions sometimes in a long sob session. He was going to be there for her, because he knew she wasn't letting his brother be there for her.

**A/N: **_I was going to add just a little bit more to this chapter, but I think I'll stop it here, because that seemed like a pretty good ending. There is still more drama, but it should be resolved pretty soon. I don't see there being much more than 20 chapters in this fic. I guess we'll have to see where it goes. I changed the Psycho Derek background a bit, and I was going to do it a bit differently, but the reviews, and the way the writing of this chapter went changed my mind. I hoped y'all liked it, and be sure to leave reviews, because I appreciate them all!_

**Disclaimer: **_I don't own anything._


	20. Ch18: Jamie's Birthday

Sighing, Peyton took Lucas' hand as she walked toward the house. He gave her fingers a squeeze and led her up the porch steps. "I know you're worried about seeing Brooke, but it'll all be okay, Peyt, I promise," he said to her. She wasn't completely upset about seeing Brooke though. Yeah, she wasn't looking forward to it, but she wasn't looking forward to seeing Haley either. She just couldn't admit to that, so she stayed silent.

The couple entered the house, still holding hands. She was glad that she still had Lucas at least. He hadn't given up on her yet, though she fully expected him to. There still hadn't been a time for Peyton to tell him that she loved him. She knew he often said it in the moments when she was just on the cusp of sleep, and he thought she was already sleeping, but she couldn't bring herself to acknowledge it or say it yet. She didn't deserve his love, and she knew that.

As they entered the living room, she dropped Lucas's hand so he could put Jamie's present on the table that Haley had set up, and she could pit up Jamie as he ran to give her a hug. She felt a pang in her back and resisted the urge to put a hand to it. She could no longer deny the truth, but she was going to ignore it for as long as possible.

_FLASHBACK_

_A couple of days after her breakdown at the headstone, Peyton was sitting drinking coffee in her kitchen when she heard the front door open. Lucas had just left the house, after staying the night last night-luckily she hadn't thrown up that morning. She wasn't alarmed, because she knew Ian Banks was locked up again and she'd hear if he wasn't. She figured it couldn't get any worse than it already was. There couldn't be anymore psychos obsessed with her, she hoped._

_Just as she had suspected, it was no psycho stalker who entered her kitchen. "There you are, Peyton. I think we need to talk," Haley said as she took a seat across the island from her blonde friend. "Now, I've been thinking lately, about how you've been puking so much, and everything. I know you might be scared, but you've got to find out the truth," she started, her brown eyes meeting green across the table._

_Instantly, Peyton's eyes filled with fear, anguish, and a mixture of other emotions, none of them really good, or the things Haley thought she should be feeling in this situation. Peyton shook her head and broke the eye contact. "Haley, this is my business, okay. It has nothing to do with you, so just stay out of it and I'll deal with it. I'm sure it's just the flu. It'll pass soon enough. Don't worry about me," her last statement was a last ditch attempt at pleading._

_Shaking her head, Haley just couldn't live with that. "Lucas is my best friend, Peyton. If you're-" Peyton made a noise of protest that cut Haley off, and Haley changed her words with a roll of her eyes. "He deserves to know the truth, and so do you. We'll go together, and I'll stay with you. I'll support you either way, and I know Lucas will too. So what are you so scared of? Peyton, at least come to the doctor with me," she requested her tone leaving no doubt that this was no simple request, but a demand._

_END FLASHBACK_

Looking around, Peyton noticed that she and Lucas weren't the first ones to arrive. Nikki was there, with Jenny and Jake, and a few other parents of Jamie's friends were there, all sitting around the living room while the kids played. "Happy Birthday, Jimmy Jam," she said, giving him a kiss on the forehead and setting him down just as Jenny ran over to her.

Heaving her up, Peyton held Jenny close for a minute, just as Haley entered from the kitchen. She sent Peyton a disapproving look, which Peyton completely ignored as she started talking to Jenny. She only could hold the little girl's attention for so long before Jenny asked to be let down so she could go back to playing. Peyton reluctantly let the girl go, and decided she had to face all of the adults sometime. She was glad that Brooke wasn't here yet.

Walking over to the couch where Lucas had just sat down, Peyton sat next to him, leaning her head on his chest. Lucas wrapped one arm around her shoulders and was chatting to the dad of one of the children. She listened in, but she didn't say much, because she knew, one way or another, the truth was getting out today, and she didn't know yet if she was going to be a coward or not. She knew Lucas didn't deserve to hear it from someone else, but she wasn't sure if she was ready to admit it.

_FLASHBACK_

_In the hospital room, Haley was sitting right next to Peyton, holding onto her hand, as she had promised she would be. They both knew, though, that part of the reason Haley stayed was to make sure Peyton went through with this. They both knew that Peyton wouldn't still be sitting on the table if Haley wasn't there to make her, but neither of them verbally acknowledged this. "Well, Miss Sawyer, I'll be back in a little while, and we'll know whether or not you're pregnant," the doctor said, before leaving the room._

_Sighing, Peyton said nothing, wanting only to leave the room and never have to hear those words or deal with them again, but Haley's hand wrapped around hers was an anchor, holding her onto the table, and also comforting her. She didn't have Lucas here for her own stupid reasons, but at least she did have someone here. She knew Haley disapproved the fact that she didn't have Lucas here, but at least Haley was quiet about it, for a while at least._

_Finally, Haley could not keep her opinion in any longer. "Look, Peyton, we both know the truth. You're throwing up, I'm sure you've missed your period for at least one month, if not more," she paused, looking over at the blonde, who would not meet her gaze. "Even if you're not, though, you have to tell him the truth. He deserves to know, even if we only thought you were," she paused, able to tell that this was not getting through to the blonde. Her words were making no impact whatsoever._

_Still not letting go of Peyton's hand, though she felt like it, Haley continued talking, just to make sure her point was across. "He deserves to know, and I will tell him, at Jamie's party, if you haven't yet. Don't think I won't, just because it's my son's birthday. Lucas is my brother-in-law, and my best friend, and I won't let you hurt him like this by keeping this from him. If you don't tell him, I will," she repeated, still getting no reaction from the blonde._

_Of course Peyton heard her, and she knew Haley wasn't bluffing, but she still wasn't sure whether or not she'd be able to do this. It might be easier to just let Haley do the telling, even if she knew that it would hurt Lucas more in the end. She didn't want to be pregnant, though. She needed Lucas to know, so he could tell her everything is going to be okay, but at the same time, she wasn't sure she was ready to say the words, even if she actually wasn't. Even thinking the words 'Well, Lucas, I thought I was pregnant,' just didn't sit right with her. It was too soon, too fast, just too much._

_Heaving a sigh, Haley pulled out the last weapon she had in her arsenal. She knew that if this didn't get at least some reaction out of Peyton, then nothing would. "Peyton, even if you are, everyone will support you. Lucas will be ecstatic. I'm sure Nikki and Jake will be happy for you. Nathan and I will always be here for you 100%," she paused, finally releasing the last blow. "Having another baby does not mean you're replacing Annabeth," she said calmly._

_Ripping her hand out of Haley's, Peyton got to her feet and turned to face the brunette, Haley standing as well, but with much slower movements. Peyton's temper flared in her green eyes, but it was nearly covered by the tears that welled. She had to work not to let them fall. "Don't you dare, Haley. You don't know what it's like, and you don't know what she would want. I don't either, and I was supposed to be her mom. I was supposed to protect her, and I couldn't save her, so don't pretend you know what she would want," she caught herself as there was a knock on the door._

_Taking a deep breath, Peyton just stood there for a moment, and Haley faced her, waiting to follow her lead. She knew that the blonde needed to finish this conversation, but she also knew that Peyton was relieved that the doctor was back. Peyton sat back on the examine table, and Haley sat next to her, as Peyton called for the doctor to come in. "I have your results," the doctor said as she entered. Haley took Peyton's hand again, and the blonde let her._

_END FLASHBACK_

From the kitchen, Haley called for Peyton to come help her. Peyton winced, knowing that she couldn't say no without getting Lucas's suspicions up but she also didn't want to face Haley on her own. She smiled as she gestured for Nikki to follow her. It wasn't like Haley could refuse Nikki's help without appearing rude, and they couldn't talk about the appointment in front of Nikki, unless Haley planned on announcing it to the whole party, which Peyton just couldn't see her doing. Haley had never been cruel or spiteful.

When the two entered the kitchen, Haley looked up, her mouth open as if she were going to start talking, but she closed it when she saw Nikki. She quickly recovered. "I need some help cutting these vegetables. I didn't know they would be such a hit with the kids," she laughed, gesturing to the cutting board, and the celery and broccoli there. She was arranging a tray with baby carrots and some ranch dip that Peyton knew she had just mixed.

Both Nikki and Peyton grabbed knives and the three women worked in silence to replenish the snack table, which Haley got Nathan and Lucas to move outside as more and more people arrived. She tried to snag a moment alone with Peyton, but Peyton was good at hiding in a crowd when she wanted to. There was never one chance for Haley to talk to Peyton when there wasn't someone nearby. She was getting ready to just announce the news to everybody, but she knew neither blonde deserved that.

As the adults gathered on the back porch and the kids played outside, Haley continued going in and out, making sure her son was happy, and the party was running smoothly. She knew they were waiting for one more person, so they could start doing presents and cake, etc. She decided that for now, she would at least get all the kids out of the pool, and out of the bounce house, so they could eat, and that would pass some time before the brunette finally decided to grace everyone with her presence.

Just as Haley was about to give up on Brooke, and start with the presents anyway, the back door swung open, and Brooke, always known for making an entrance, sauntered onto the back porch. She was carrying her purse and a water bottle. She threw a dirty look in the direction of Peyton, who happened to be sitting at the end of Lucas's lounge chair, and then walked over to the birthday boy. She gave him a hug, and went to sit with Nikki and Jake, who were also sharing a chair, as Jamie started opening presents.

Everyone who knew Brooke could tell she was a little tipsy, and both Peyton and Haley were sure that it was not water in her bottle, but Peyton didn't care to approach her, and Haley didn't want to ruin her son's day. She did keep an eye on Brooke, though, with that water bottle, which she kept drinking from for the rest of the party. She knew things weren't going to end well, and she could only hope that Brooke would at least wait for everyone else to leave.

Finally everyone else cleared off, except Jake, Nikki, Lucas, Peyton and Brooke. Deb had taken James and Jenny for a sleepover at her house, and Karen was taking Lily over there for a while, so they three of them, who had formed quite a bond, could spend more time together. Nikki and Peyton were helping Haley out in the kitchen, while Jake, Nathan and Lucas were in the living room, watching a basketball game, and Brooke had run out of whatever had been in her water bottle, and was now hitting up Haley and Nathan's liquor cabinet.

When Brooke entered the kitchen, she was carrying cups and a bottle of vodka. "So, who wants to play a game of 'I Never,'" she asked the group, already pouring healthy amounts of alcohol into each cup, passing one to Nikki, one to Peyton and one to Haley, who immediately poured hers down the sink, and tried to protest. "No, Hales, I'll go first," she said, sending a sardonic smile in Peyton's direction, never taking her eyes off the blonde. "I Never slept with my ex-best friend's ex-fiancé," she stated.

Not allowing herself to show any emotion, even though she wanted to cry, or at the very least run away from Brooke's hateful stare, Peyton didn't move, and she never took her eyes off of Brooke's. Brooke's smile turned wicked, and she stared back as if no one else was in the room. "Well, go ahead, Peyton, take your drink," she prodded, but Peyton remained still, knowing nothing she could say or do would stop Brooke. Brooke pushed the drink closer to the blonde. "Drink up, Peyton," she demanded.

As Peyton's hand reached for the cup, Haley finally spoke up, not willing to let this go any further. "Brooke, stop this right now. You've had to much, and you need to leave my house," she looked to Nikki, because neither Brooke nor Peyton acknowledged her, both of them still locked in their silent death stares. "Can you take her home? I don't trust her driving like this," she said, because Brooke was still her friend, even if she did crappy things sometimes.

With her attention focused on Nikki, who nodded in affirmation to Haley's request, Haley didn't see Peyton pick up the shot until she poured it down her throat. She grabbed the cup out of her hand, but it was too late. "Peyton, what the hell do you think you're doing? How can you let her get to you that much? You know as well as I do that you're not supposed to be drinking. How could you do this?" she asked, her attention focused on the blonde, and not on the others in the room.

Scoffing, Brooke spoke up before Peyton could respond, not one to be forgotten in any situation, especially when she was drunk. "What are you, Haley, her mother? Who are you to tell her she can't have a drink?" she paused, thinking about it. "Unless there's a reason she can't drink," she laughed, but it was mocking and bitter. "Oh, that's great. You let yourself get knocked up by my ex. Geez, Peyton, just having my sloppy seconds isn't enough for you, you have to have his baby too, to make sure he stays with you?" she slurred.

This time she couldn't hide the hurt in her eyes. Nikki gasped in shock, because she could tell it was true, the answer was written all over Peyton's face. Haley wanted to reach out and comfort her friend, but she decided that first she needed to get Brooke out of there. "Enough Brooke. You need to go, now," the voice that spoke wasn't Haley's though, and all of the women looked to the entrance to the kitchen, to see who else had viewed the spectacle that Brooke had made.

All three men were standing there, all with very different expressions. Peyton couldn't care less about Brooke knowing anymore, and she knew that she had done the wrong thing, letting Lucas figure it out through someone else. She could see it written all over his face. She could also see that Jake was torn between what he wanted to feel, and what he should feel, and what he was actually feeling. Nathan was sympathetic, and she knew immediately he got what she was feeling. Instead of facing any one of them, though, Peyton turned and ran from the house.

**A/N: **_This is a little short, but I felt this is where the ending should be, and I have a bit more in store for you. I hoped you liked that chapter, but since it is kind of late right now, I'm just going to post and hope you all review. Thanks to those who reviewed the last chapter, and thanks to those of you who are still reading._

**Disclaimer: **_I don't own anything._


	21. Ch19: What Could Have Been

It was no surprise to Peyton that she ended up at her daughters grave. She put one hand on her stomach, the other hand on the dirt, with her fingers digging beneath the surface, and she cried until she could cry no more. She didn't want to be pregnant, but here she was, pregnant, and now she was fairly certain that Lucas hated her. She didn't know what she was going to do. She wasn't sure she could have this baby.

Tracing the letters of her daughter's name, she wondered what she was doing. "Annabeth. My little Angel. What am I doing? Why do I have to live this way? I'd give anything to know what it would have been like to have you in my life. I'd even give up Lucas, knowing the two of us would never be truly happy, if it meant I got to actually hold you in my arms, have you smile up at me, know what you would have looked like," she sobbed.

A baby crying caused Peyton to jerk awake with a start. She looked around, and she was no longer at the cemetery, but she was at her old house, the one in Savannah. She sat up, trying to get untangled from the blankets, and noticed someone stirring beside her. "It's your turn," a voice mumbled, and she moved the covers aside to see Jake next to her. She gave a startled yelp, and jumped back, only to end up on the floor.

The yelp was what got Jake to sit up, and he saw Peyton sitting on the floor. "Well, if that's the way you feel about it, fine, but might I remind you, it was your idea to get pregnant," he chuckled, getting up and stretching as he walked out of the room. She wasn't far behind him, curious about the baby cries. She couldn't understand what was going on, and she couldn't figure out how to word her questions.

Entering the room that they had planned out to be the nursery, Peyton saw Jake, picking up a baby girl out of the crib that had been meant for their daughter. He began rocking her as he walked her over so he could sit in the rocking chair. "Hey baby girl. How is my little Brianna doing?" he spoke to her in a baby voice, looking down at the girl in his arms. "If you're going to get up as well, can you make the bottle?" he asked, looking up at the blonde.

In awe, Peyton just walked over. Brianna Evelyn had been the name they had originally picked out for their daughter, because they wanted her to be her own person. They didn't want her to be named after anyone they knew. She looked down at the little girl, with brown hair, which was already coming in curly, and her daddy's nose. She swallowed and held out her hands. "How 'bout I trade you," she managed to say.

Shrugging, Jake handed their daughter over, giving Peyton a quick kiss on the cheek as he slipped by, headed for the kitchen to make the bottle. Peyton took his vacated seat in the rocking chair, unable to take her eyes off her little girl. She had stopped crying, and she now opened her eyes, looking up at her mom with identical green orbs. Peyton couldn't help the tear that slipped out of her eye, but this was different. It was definitely a happy tear.

Giving her daughter a kiss on the forehead, she took the bottle when Jake came back and handed it to her, only sparing him a glance before she focused on the baby in her arms. She didn't even notice that Jake stayed in the room, until she had long finished feeding Brianna and Jake finally spoke up. "Peyton, we better get back to bed, or we might as well just wait until she needs to eat again," he said.

Looking up, she finally realized he was still there. She smiled at him, but waved him on. She had months to make up for. "No, go ahead. I'm just going to stay up and hold her for a while," she said. He smiled back, then sauntered over and placed a kiss on her forehead before heading back to their bedroom. Peyton just sat and stared at her daughter, until she could stay up no longer. She then put her daughter back in the crib and went back to bed with Jake, wondering where she would be the next time she woke up.

Opening her eyes, Peyton found herself still in Savannah, once again listening to the cry of her daughter. She thought there wasn't a sweeter sound in the world. She got up and as she walked to the nursery, she could smell that Jake was cooking breakfast. She needed to talk to him, find out if this was just a dream, or if the past few months had been a dream, but she didn't want to yet, because if it was a dream, she wasn't ready to wake up.

When she finally made it to the kitchen, holding her baby girl, Jake was putting breakfast on the table, and Jenny was already sitting down, and she bent to kiss her head as she walked over to take her seat. She grinned at Jake as she did, and she began to eat while still holding her daughter to her chest. "She's not going to disappear if you let her go, Peyton. Why are you holding onto her so much?" Jake asked as he sat down.

Just nodding, Peyton finished chewing what was in her mouth. She decided now was as good a time as any to start asking questions, and she knew they wouldn't be able to get into to deep of a conversation with Jenny there. "So, do you remember that accident we were in, just after we found out Brianna was a girl?" she asked calmly, looking down at the baby in question as she spoke, then glancing up at Jake to gauge his reaction.

Setting down his fork, he looked at her weirdly for a moment, before comprehension dawned on his features. "Oh, you mean when we were almost hit by that drunk driver, but you hesitated at the light just long enough to be able to stop," he nodded. "I wouldn't call that an accident, though. Why would you even be asking about it?" he inquired, watching her curiously.

Taking another bite of food, she focused on her daughter again, so he wouldn't be able to see her face. So that was what happened, then, in this strange alternate reality. "Oh, I just had a nightmare about it last night. I dreamed that we had lost her," her arm tightened almost imperceptibly around their daughter as she said that, "and life was a whole lot different. No need to worry about it," she looked back up at him and forced a smile.

Even though she knew they had never gone through the rough patch, she still couldn't look at him the same way she had before, well, not before the accident, because in this reality there never had been one, but she just couldn't look at him the same way. She finished eating, and Jake took the dishes, so when Jenny went to the living room, she followed and sat on the couch with her two daughters, one next to her, and the other on her lap.

After a while, Jake came out to sit with his family, and they watched TV together, but Peyton wasn't sure how much longer she could keep up pretenses. She was glad when Brianna needed to be fed again, because Jake kept touching her, and kissing her, and she just couldn't respond like she knew she should. She was moving around in the kitchen, fixing up a bottle, when she saw something that made her stop in her tracks.

Taking a few steps until she reached the counter, she opened the cabinet where their garbage can was and, underneath the empty formula can she had just thrown away, was an envelope. She pulled it out, looking at it in horror as she hoisted the baby up into a better position on her hip. She couldn't believe this. She really couldn't. She pulled out the invitation from inside the envelope, looking at the date, and then she looked at the date on the calendar hanging in the kitchen.

Glad that she had always marked off the days on the calendar, she saw that the invitation was for this weekend. She didn't know who exactly had thrown it away, but she was pretty sure that she and Jake hadn't planned on going to Brooke and Lucas's wedding. She dropped it back in the trash like it was burning her, and she grabbed the bottle, heading for the nursery again. She needed a few minutes alone to sort out her feelings.

Before she could get far, the doorbell rang and since she was right next to it on her way to the nursery, she opened it, to find Nikki there, with a big grin on her face. "Well, hello there little Brianna," she immediately cooed to the baby, looking up at Peyton. "So, I have some news that I wanted to share with my best friend and the father of my daughter. Do you mind if I come in?" she asked, but she was already pushing past Peyton, headed for the living room.

Her interest piqued, Peyton followed, taking a seat and adjusting the baby in her arms so she could feed her while Nikki said whatever it was she needed to say. She looked up at Nikki sat on the couch next to Jake and Jenny, and she had to admit, the three did look like the perfect family. She wondered how Nikki felt about Brianna, considering she was still secretly in love with Jake. Did she even know she still loved Jake, or had she only realized it because Jake had been single again?

Probably due to her train of thought, she was really shocked by what Nikki actually had to say. "So, Rick asked me to marry him, and I said yes," she announced, her tone a lot calmer than her body language was. Peyton's jaw dropped for a minute, and she looked at Jake, wondering if he was subconsciously heart broken. She knew that she never would have thought of that before, but now she just wasn't sure.

Biting on her lip, she congratulated Nikki, and then took her now sleeping baby to the nursery so she could lay her down in the crib. She didn't even realize Nikki had left until she noticed Jake in the doorway. "So are you going into your studio today, or are you planning on canceling all your appointments and just staring at our daughter?" he asked her, an eyebrow cocked as he studied her.

Forcing a smile, she decided maybe she should check out the studio that was apparently hers in this reality, but first she wanted to have a bit of conversation with Jake. He stepped forward as she tried to figure out where to start, and wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her close. She had to fight the urge not to pull back. He was great, but he just wasn't Lucas. "I want to go to the wedding," she said, figuring he would know which one she was talking about.

Pulling back to look at her, she could tell that he did know, but Jake pretended he didn't for a moment. "Of course we're going to Nikki's wedding. She'll probably ask you to be a bridesmaid," he said, but she just stayed silent and he heaved a sigh as he pulled away. "I thought you said when we got the invitation that you didn't want to go. What made you change your mind?" he leaned against the changing table, which was on the adjacent wall of the crib.

Blowing her hair out of her eyes and turning to look at her daughter, Peyton just shrugged. "I guess I don't want to regret not going later. I mean, she was my best friend, and hopefully she'll only get married once. I want to make sure she's really happy, and I don't want her to have any regrets either," she wasn't sure where the words came from, but she hoped it sounded believable.

A few seconds later, she felt Jake begin rubbing her shoulders and she wanted to relax and lean into him, like she knew she would have before, but all she could think was that he didn't smell the same as Lucas, when she closed her eyes, she didn't forget the rest of the world except for the man behind her, and she just couldn't let that go. She turned, gave him a quick kiss, and then headed for the shower, claiming she had to get to work.

Taking the baby with her, Peyton got into her Comet and drove to the address she had found on her desk. She wasn't entirely sure what she did at her place of business, but she knew it at least had something to do with art, considering the rest of her life had seemed to go exactly as it had been heading before the accident. She pulled up in front of the building, and noticed the name, feeling a rush of pride. Portraits by Peyton. She couldn't believe that she had actually managed to go through with what had been her dream all along.

Spending the day with her first and second love-Brianna and art-Peyton was finally forced to realize that she had to go home when she received a call from her husband. She knew that he had noticed her weird actions and that she would have to act a bit more normal, a bit more in love with him. She decided that showing Jake affection couldn't be too difficult, especially since she got her daughter. She had been in love with him once, so she could be again, or she could at least try.

With that in mind, she packed up her daughter and headed for home, so she could make her husband and daughters dinner. Jake was still at work, but Nikki arrived while she was still cooking to drop Jenny off, since she had taken her for the day. Jenny went up to her room to wash up and put her stuff away, and Nikki went into the kitchen, to find Peyton. "So, what do you really think?" she asked the blonde, with no preamble.

Pretending she didn't know what Nikki was talking about, she tilted her head as she stirred a pot on the stove. Nikki didn't accept that, though, and stayed silent until Peyton answered. Peyton heaved a sigh, as she was pretty sure Nikki wouldn't like this. She wasn't entirely sure she should say anything. She couldn't keep quiet, though. "Are you truly happy, Nikki? I mean, are you sure? How long have you been dating this guy?" she asked.

Pulling up a barstool at the island in the kitchen, Nikki blew out a breath. "I've been dating him for almost a year, Peyton, it's not like I don't know the guy. I mean, I really honestly think I could be happy with him for the rest of my life, and I would like the support of my best friend. He's no," she cut herself off running a hand through her hair, and continued. "He's not perfect, but still, he's kinda perfect for me," she finished, seeming almost defensive, and slightly hostile.

Feeling that Nikki had been about to say 'He's no Jake,' Peyton couldn't help but wonder if the love between Nikki and Jake had always been this obvious, or if something had changed to make it this obvious to her now. She wasn't sure either way, so she pretended that she hadn't noticed Nikki's slip, if it was, in fact, a slip. "Okay, then, if you think he's right for you, I guess I can't object. As long as he's good with Jenny, there's no reason I should have the right to, anyway," she shrugged.

Softening, Nikki immediately regretted her tone. "Of course you have a right to object. You're my best friend. I asked your opinion anyway, didn't I?" she stood off the stool, walked around the island, and gave Peyton a hug. She didn't have the chance to say anything else, though, because the subject was closed by Jake getting home and Peyton finishing dinner.

A few days later, Peyton was getting her daughter into the dress she had just bought. Jake was in the bathroom of their hotel room, and Jenny was waiting for Peyton to do her hair. Peyton sat the baby up, grabbing the bow that was next to her on the bed, and fixed it in the short brown curls. She smiled down at her daughter, and then put her in the car seat, so she could do Jenny's hair, and then finish getting herself ready.

Not an hour later, the family was sitting in a church, and Peyton was getting ready to watch the love of her life marry someone else. She told herself that she was just here to make sure he was happy in this universe, just as she was. She didn't want to break anything up. She had her happy ending this time, with her daughter, and everything else in her life was perfect. She only hoped life was as good to Lucas.

Part of her couldn't believe any of this, though. She was longing to see him, because she just needed to see him. She knew that all of it, her business, her daughter, her seemingly perfect family, which had all been her dreams at one point, didn't really matter to her as much as they once had. She missed Lucas, missed lying in bed next to him, missed his blue eyes, which always seemed to read her so well, missed just being with him.

For the sake of everyone else, though, she wouldn't utter a word about it. She tried not to even acknowledge the feelings simmering inside of her. She had her daughter now. That was worth giving up Lucas, right? She nodded to herself, then focused her attention at the front of the church, just as the preacher and the male half of the wedding party took their places.

Not one of them mattered to her, though, as much as the groom himself. She knew the rest of the people could have melted away, and she wouldn't have noticed, as she locked her green eyes with his blue. She forced herself to snap her mouth closed, and swallowed. She was going to get through this without ruining things for Brooke, or Lucas or anyone else. She was just going to sit quietly in her seat, her hand clutched in Jake's, and not say a word. She could do that, right?

The wedding march began playing, and Peyton saw the bridesmaids and matron of honor-Haley, of course-pass by out of the corner of her eye, but she couldn't break the eye contact with Lucas. She saw a flash of white go by, and she couldn't help but look this time. Brooke was stunning, in a dress of her own creation that was perfect for her, of course. She looked at Lucas, and saw his eyes kept drifting back to her, even though he tried to remain focused on Brooke.

As the ceremony progressed, Peyton's eyes never left Lucas's face. She knew that he was just as in love with her as she was with him, and she found herself standing when the preacher asked if anyone objected. "I do," she drew everyone's attention. "Lucas, I didn't come here to ruin this for you, but I can't let you do this. I can't do this to myself. I love you, Lucas. I've always been in love with you. Don't marry Brooke," she heard the words coming from her mouth, but it didn't feel like she was saying them.

Hearing the sounds of gasps from all around her, she knew that she had shocked everyone, including herself. She then heard people begin saying her name. Jake, Haley, Nathan, Brooke, Lucas. She heard her name, repeatedly, from all around her. She wanted to cover her ears as the church faded away, but then she noticed she was now on the ground, and only one voice was saying her name, from above her, as there was a prodding to her shoulder.

Slowly sitting up, she opened her eyes to find herself once more at the gravestone of her daughter. She flinched at the name on this cold grey stone, which would never be her Brianna, but she woke up thinking a lot clearly than she had in a while. She knew what she was going to do now. She had to deal with the person who had woke her first, though, and she looked at the other person.

**A/N: **_So, who do you think woke her up, and what do you think she is going to do? I have to admit, this chapter also took a far different turn than I ever thought it would, but then I thought, maybe Peyton should get a look at the what could have been? It might do her some good. Plus, I kind of wanted to see where life would have taken her. We'll be back to normal next chapter, though, and I tell you, it'll be a good one. I hope you guys don't hate me for it…. Leave a review, tell me who you want to have found Peyton. Tell me what you think should happen, or just tell me if you love it or hate it. Thanks to those who reviewed the last chapter. I cherish every review, and they always make me feel all warm and fuzzy._

**Disclaimer: **_I don't own anything._


	22. Ch20: Finding a Solution

The brunette regarded Peyton carefully, and Peyton could tell that she had sobered up since she had last seen her. It didn't seem like she was going to speak though, so Peyton decided she would be the one to break the silence. "What are you doing here, Brooke? Come here to yell at me some more?" she asked, trying to keep emotion out of her voice.

As she regarded her once best friend, Brooke tried to get it through her mind that Peyton was pregnant, with Lucas's baby. She still hadn't been able to accept that exactly, even though she'd sobered up with coffee and some sleep. She knew at the same time that the situation was perfect, and that Peyton and Lucas would probably be the best parents this kid could ask for.

Realizing that she still hadn't said anything, Brooke just shrugged. "I honestly couldn't tell you, Peyton. I mean, when I heard that you still hadn't turned up, I knew you'd be here, but I don't know what caused me to come here," she could tell that wasn't what Peyton wanted to hear. "I guess I need to apologize," she added with a sigh.

Flinching at Brooke's tone, which seemed resolute instead of apologetic, Peyton shook her head. "I don't want to hear it unless you actually mean it, so why don't you save it for someone who'll buy your crap," she said, but she didn't stop there. "Unless you're forgetting that we used to be best friends, and I can tell when you're being real and when you feel like you're being forced into something," she spat.

Looking at her phone as an excuse to look away from Brooke, Peyton realized she had slept through the night, and she had an appointment to get to. She got to her feet, wondering if she should go get her car, or if she should just walk to the appointment from there. "Well, Brooke, you're about to get what I'm sure is your wish," she couldn't help but add.

When Brooke looked up at her curiously, not quite sure what she meant, Peyton decided to explain herself a little better. "I can't do this on my own, and it seems that Lucas doesn't want anything to do with it. So, I won't be continuing with this pregnancy. Don't act like this isn't what you want anyway," she said as she turned to walk away.

The look of shock that had been on Brooke's face was etched in Peyton's mind the whole walk to the clinic. She wished she could feel satisfaction, but all she could feel was horror as she walked into the building. She didn't want to do this, but without Lucas, she had no other choice. She wasn't ready to be pregnant again, and she definitely couldn't be a single mother.

Unsure of what she should do, Brooke just sat there for a moment, trying to figure out who to call. She knew she shouldn't have come to make up with Peyton, because she wasn't ready to yet, but she also knew that wasn't ready to make up with Peyton, and she had only come to fix things because Haley had forced her to.

With a sigh, Brooke got up and got out her phone, dialing a familiar number. "Okay, you need to find Peyton, like now," she paused, wondering if she should disclose the next piece of information. "She's about to get rid of her baby, and I have no idea what to say to her," she paused again, allowing a bit of yelling to come through the line as she got in her car. "Just talk to her. She needs you," she hung up.

After checking in with the nurse, Peyton went to the bathroom, finally noticing how horrid she looked, with grass stains and dirt in her hair. She did her best to brush everything off, and then pulled her now ratty hair up into a pony tail. She splashed some water on her face and then stayed in the bathroom for a few minutes before finally going back into the waiting room, only to want to turn right back around.

Before she had to walk all the way over to the chairs, the nurse called her name for her to sign the consent forms. She saw the nurse's sympathetic look, as she asked if she was going to be going through the procedure alone. "Yeah, I hope so," she murmured, handing the clipboard back to the nurse before walking over to Jake, who was waiting for her.

Sinking into the chair next to him, she kept her attention elsewhere. "So, who sent you here? Was it Brooke?" she laughed harshly, because she was the only one who knew where she was, so it had to have been Brooke. "She couldn't handle me herself so she called you? Well, I'll save you the trouble, because there's really nothing you can say that'll change things," she said, confidently, still not looking at him.

Staring at her, still trying to work through this himself, Jake couldn't help but shake his head. "Not even this: It's going to be okay, Peyton. You'll be a great mother. You are a great mother, and just because you are going to have another baby, doesn't mean you can ever replace our daughter," he paused, noticing that she had finally looked at him. "Oh, yeah, and it's okay to be scared. Does that change things, even a little bit?" he asked.

Blowing out a sigh, Peyton began to chew on her bottom lip. She knew that if she was honest with herself, that did change things. A lot. She had been wanting to hear those words from Jake, and they definitely helped. She didn't know if it was enough though. She really needed to hear from Lucas mother than anything, but she didn't know if that was going to happen.

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Exactly as Nathan had suspected, he found Lucas at the Rivercourt, shooting hoops. He quickly got involved in the game, and the two brothers just played basketball for a while. It had been the first thing they had bonded over, and sometimes they just returned to the court and they didn't need to talk. Nathan knew that Lucas needed to talk, though. "So, when are you going to make things right with her?" he asked, catching the ball underneath his arm.

The blonde turned away from his brother, running a hand over the back of his neck, before he turned back to his brother. "She's lied to me, Nathan. She at the very least kept the truth from me. What am I supposed to do now? I thought she was doing better and she's still keeping things from me," he said angrily, but they both knew he was hurt more than he was angry. He didn't understand why she didn't tell him.

Knowing just how much his brother was hurting, Nathan didn't rise to Lucas's anger, though he was pretty sure Lucas might have preferred it if he did. "Listen, Luke, you're never going to get the answers to those questions, unless you ask her. Hiding from her isn't going to help anyone. Go talk to her before one of you does something you both regret, and it's too late to take it back," he offered.

Snapping his gaze to meet Nathan's, Lucas thought over the words for a moment. There had been a certain tone to Nathan's voice that made him think that Nathan knew something he didn't. He didn't question it for the moment, though, choosing instead to ignore everything Nathan had said. "Give me the ball, Nate," he said, holding his hands out.

Tossing the ball to Lucas, Nathan didn't protest as Lucas started shooting hoops again. Lucas was working out what Nathan had said in his mind as he played with the basketball and they both knew he. Lucas finally stopped shooting hoops and turned to look at Nathan again. "What aren't you telling me?" he asked, but Nathan stayed silent. "Nathan, damnit, what do you know?" he asked, throwing the ball away in frustration.

Shrugging, Nathan shook his head, still not rising to the bait. "I don't know anything for sure, Lucas, but I do know that if you don't call her, and soon, you're probably going to regret it. So just get over it already, and be there for the girl that you've been saving since we were sixteen," he said, turning and walking off the court.

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When Nathan got home, Haley was cleaning out the drawers in the kitchen, for lack of something better to do. She looked up with a smile when he walked into the kitchen, and pulled him close when he approached. "I trust you fixed everything on your brother's side, and, if Brooke has done her job, then those two should be getting back to their happily ever after soon enough," she said when she pulled back.

Before he had a chance to say anything, Brooke came into the kitchen, heading straight for the refrigerator and grabbing a bottle of water. "I don't know why you sent me to find her, Haley. It was a rotten idea, and I don't think anyone was helped by that. Especially not Peyton if she actually goes through with murdering her baby. I need to go," she said, and left just as quickly as she had come.

Unable to process that immediately, Haley began cleaning out the drawers again. She began slamming things around, as she worked, and Nathan stayed back for a minute, knowing that she needed space and she would come to him when she was ready. She did, walking over to him, and into his embrace. He wrapped his arms around her and held her close as she tried to figure out what to say.

Pulling away, Haley was suddenly very upset. "How could she do this? How could this happen? Why would she even think of getting rid of her child, of Lucas's child? I can guarantee that she didn't mention this to him. I know she was having a hard time, but in what universe could she ever think that this is okay?" she asked rhetorically, running a hand through her hair as she began to pace the kitchen.

Understanding that Haley needed to get this rant out of her system, Nathan just let her go on. He wasn't too happy with Peyton right now either, to be honest. He only hoped that Brooke was wrong, or that Lucas would get to her in time. "It's not our place to interfere, Hales, and you know that. I hope she won't be that stupid, and I hope my brother will stop being an ass, but we've done all we can do," he said, grabbing her by the arm to stop her pacing.

Sighing deeply, Haley knew her husband was right. She had certainly tried to talk sense into Peyton enough times since they had been to the doctor. She knew that it was up to the two blondes now, and she only wished that they didn't have such a bad track record with doing the right thing for their relationship. "You're right," she murmured to her husband, and she began cleaning out their kitchen drawers again.

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Still unable to find the words to say, Peyton stayed silent, really wishing that it was someone else beside her. "I can't do this without him, Jake. I just can't. I already lost one child, but I can't do this alone," she finally said, burying her face in her hands and beginning to sob.

For a moment, Jake just sat there because he didn't know what to say or do, then he reached out and began rubbing her back. "Peyton, you can't do this, okay, you just can't. You may think that you have to right now, but you'll regret it one day, and you shouldn't have to live with that kind of regret," he said, still rubbing her back, as she just continued sobbing, and he was wishing there was something more he could do.

Instead of saying anything, Peyton just kept her face buried as she tried to control her sobs. Jake didn't even know if she was really listening anymore. "Peyton, I miss you everyday. I miss us, and the family we had. I'd be the first to admit, I wish things could be like they used to be," he paused, and her sobs subsided for a moment. "It's just not that way, Peyton, and we have to accept that," he finished.

Lifting her head, she began wiping her tears away. "It was great, Jake. It was amazing. I saw it, I could picture it. She had brown curly hair, and green eyes, and your nose. She was perfect and we could have had it. It all would have been perfect," she cried as the tears began to fall even faster now, and this time instead of burying her face in her hands, she buried her face in his chest as she sobbed.

Wrapping his arms around her, Jake continued rubbing her back. He could see what she had described, but he knew the reality of things. "Peyton, that would have been great, I'm sure, but that's not how it ended up. Life turned out this way because it was meant to, and I wouldn't trade what I have now for anything, and I'm sure you wouldn't either. You have to take the good with the bad, and just move on," he said.

Shaking her head, she couldn't believe he was saying this. "You really wouldn't change how things are now?" she asked, and he just shrugged. She felt reassured, for some reason. She could perhaps do this, since she knew that Jake was happy. She nodded, wiping at the tears now, as they began to slow. She knew this didn't make things right, but she couldn't explain why she felt better.

Not better enough to not go through with the appointment, though, and as she met his gaze again, she knew he realized that. "Peyton, please don't do this. Even if Lucas doesn't help you, I'll be here for you, I promise. Just don't go through with this," he broke off as her phone started ringing. She pulled it out, and they both saw the display. "Answer it, please. Talk to him, and then make your decision," he begged.

Staring at the phone, Peyton looked up at Jake and then back down at it, trying to stop the smile that wanted to spread on her face, despite the circumstances. She stood, nodding. "Thanks, Jake," she said, and then she left the clinic, flipping open her phone as she did. "Hi," she said simply, wanting nothing more than to hear his voice, or see him. She paused for a moment. "Okay, I'll see you in a minute," she said, hanging up.

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After leaving Naley's house, Brooke just walked around. She wasn't ready to drive yet, and she didn't want to make the drive until she knew whether Peyton had actually gone through with it or not. She wasn't ready to make up with the blonde, but she had been friends with Peyton so long, she couldn't help but care if Peyton was going to ruin her life. She had called Jake, because she knew Peyton needed him.

At the same time, though, she knew who Peyton truly needed. She just wasn't ready to call her ex-fiancé and tell him that his new girlfriend needed him to stop her from getting an abortion. She knew that Peyton and Lucas were right for each other, but she just wasn't ready to accept it yet, at least not with good graces. She didn't want to see about them being together, or hear about it. She'd prefer to pretend to be clueless.

Just as she was thinking that, she ran into a hard body. She looked about, about to snap at the person to watch out, but the attitude died on her lips as she met a pair of brown eyes. She closed her mouth and swallowed, as she felt the guy, who had grabbed onto her to hold her steady, let her go. She desperately wanted to tell him not to, but instead said something else. "I think you should buy me a coffee or something, since you ran into me," she demanded.

Looking somewhat alarmed, a charming grin suddenly spread across this unknown guy's face. "Alright, I guess I can do that," he said, and he took her arm, and led her into the coffee shop they just happened to run into each other in front of. "I'm Julian Baker by the way, and do you plan on telling me your name before or after I buy you coffee," he asked as they walked through the doors.

Smiling at him wide enough that she knew her dimples would be showing, she shrugged demurely. "You know, I just might, after the coffee, I guess it all depends on whether or not I decide that I like you," she replied, trying to remain mysterious, even though she already wanted to know everything about this guy. She wasn't sure if it was a good thing or a bad thing, but she might want to see where this would lead.

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Walking straight to the Rivercourt, Peyton didn't even think about how ratty her appearance was, or the fact that she was wearing the same clothes she had been wearing last night; at least, she didn't think about that, until she got close enough to see him. She slowed down as she approached, because she knew that he hadn't noticed her yet, and he was still concentrating on basketball.

It really was a thing of beauty, watching him, despite the fact that he couldn't play all that hard. He still put all that he could into it, and it was easy to tell that it was something he loved. She cleared her throat as she got closer to him, waiting as he turned around, and spotted her. She stopped walking at the edge of the asphalt, because she wasn't sure if he wanted her to get any closer, and she wasn't sure she could get any closer, without losing control.

Turning, Lucas finally spotted her, and he felt his breathing quicken, and his heart slow and speed up as it always did when he saw her. He shook his head slowly as he wondered how he ever thought he could stay mad at her for any long period of time. He wasn't quite ready to let her off the hook though, at least not with an explanation. He walked over to the bleachers and sat down. "Sit," he offered, gesturing to the spot next to him.

Moving slowly over to sit next to him, Peyton just waited, waited for the yelling, or the questions, or whatever was going to happen. He didn't seem to want to break the silence, though. She wasn't sure if she could, but she knew she had to say something. He deserved better than her silence. "I'm scared. I don't know if I'm ready for this, Lucas, if we're ready for this. It's going to be so hard," she said softly.

Wanting to reach out and comfort her, but not really being able to yet, Lucas just ran a hand over the back of his neck as he looked out across the Cape Fear river. "Peyton, we can do this. I want to be there for you, and I always will be, okay. I'm not giving up on you. It's all going to be okay. We'll get through this together. You just have to talk to me about stuff like this, okay?" he said, and he knew the hurt was coloring his tone.

Biting her lip, Peyton finally began to pour out all the things she was afraid of. "What if the baby doesn't like me? I mean, why should it, Lucas? I don't even get why you like me. I'm so broken, still. How am I ever going to take care of a baby, when I can't even take care of myself? What if the baby is ashamed of me, one day, because I have to be on antidepressants?" she felt the tears well up, but tried to stop them, crossing her arms around her stomach.

This time Lucas couldn't help but gather her in his arms. "Peyton, that's crazy, you hear me. This baby is going to love you, just like I love you. You're not unfixable, okay. There is nothing wrong with you. You take some pills, that's never going to change how me or this baby feel about you, I promise you that. It's okay to be scared, and this baby will never replace the one you were supposed to have, but there is no one else I would want to have a baby with," he kissed the top of her head.

Focused on the words that he had finally admitted straight to her, Peyton pulled back, blinking back tears as she looked up at his face. "I love you, too," she said with a watery smile, before leaning up to kiss him. "You really mean all that?" she asked when she broke away, looking up at him as her green eyes became worried. "I mean, you wouldn't take Brooke back, or anyone else over me?" she barely heard the words herself, and she felt embarrassed by them immediately.

A smile broke out on his face as soon as she spoke the words, despite the fact that he could tell she was feeling vulnerable, and it wasn't a joke to her at all. "Peyton Sawyer, I have loved you since I was sixteen. I may not have always admitted to it, but there is no one else I would want, for the rest of time, even if Brooke did one day decide she wanted me back," he paused, a new thought occurring to him.

It was a risk, he knew, and he was completely sure of what she would say, but suddenly, he couldn't imagine anything else. She had just admitted she loved him, and now he wanted to make sure she was saying that for the rest of her life. "I love you and only you, Peyton Elizabeth Sawyer. I want us to be a family, you me and this baby, but more than that, though, I want to prove to you I love you every day for the rest of my life. Will you marry me?" he asked, getting down on one knee.

**A/N: **_Well, what did you think of that chapter? I think the next will be the last. This has been fun, but I think it's time for me to move on to other things, like the rest of my fics, which I have been neglecting in order to finish this one. The next chapter will jump a bit, and you'll find out what Peyton said, of course. I thought I'd give you all a bit of a cliffy for the second to last chapter, even though we all probably know what she was going to say. I have to say, I haven't got the last chapter written yet, but I think it will tie up everything nicely. That's it for spoilers. Thanks to everyone who left a review on the last chapter. I hope you continue to leave reviews as this story draws to a close. _

**Disclaimer: **_I don't own anything._


	23. Ch21: Calm Before the Storm

When her phone began to ring, Peyton put down her paintbrush, and picked it up, smiling when she saw the display. She flipped it open and put it to her ear. "Hey, babe, what's up?" she said, her smile only widening when she heard the voice on the other end ask her if she was going to be home for dinner. "I didn't even notice it was that late. Let me put things away here and then I'll be there. Should I pick something up?" she asked.

After they finished their conversation, Peyton hung up, and began packing up her stuff. She was just heading for the door, her purse slung over her shoulder, and her sketchbook in her hands, when she saw the figure in the doorway to her shop. She froze for a moment, but then realized she had nothing to fear. "You know, you might have alerted me to your presence," she said, her hand on her ever-growing belly as she waited for her heart to stop racing.

A smile spread across her brothers face, and he held out his arms as Peyton stepped forward for a hug. "I'm sorry, but I did just get here. I mean here, as in right here, and here as in back in Tree Hill. I thought you'd like to see your brother considering he just got back from his six month leave," he said with a smirk, cocking an eyebrow as he stepped back to look at her.

Despite the fact that Derek-the real Derek-had wanted nothing to do with her when she had first made contact, the pair had started writing letters while he had been overseas for six months, and they both found themselves forming a bond neither of them had expected. Peyton had been weary at first, due to the psycho, but it was easier in the beginning to just write, and now she was glad she had made the effort.

Walking out of the building, with him behind her, she gestured to the place as she locked the front door. "So, what do you think? I mean, it took a long time to get here, and there were setbacks," she winced as she remembered losing the money her father had left her. Luckily, when the guy had been got, her money had been returned. "I think the gallery looks pretty good, though," she finished.

Looking at the building with her, Derek nodded, then looked at his sister, who admittedly, looked nothing like him, but he was glad they now had a relationship. "Well, I think it's great. The gallery, the pregnancy glow," he added with a smirk. She blushed, but he went on. "I mean it, Peyton, you've got to be close to bursting, aren't you? Shouldn't you be taking maternity leave soon?" he added in a brotherly tone.

Rolling her eyes, Peyton began walking towards her car. She ran a hand over the Comet and a smile spread across her face as it always did when she thought of Lucas and/or her beloved car, and right now she was thinking of both. She turned and leaned against it. "I'm a grown woman. I know how to take care of myself. I still have time before I burst, as you put it," she replied.

Suddenly, they were being hit by rain, and Peyton looked up at the grey sky, alarmed by the storm clouds, and the lightning that she hadn't noticed until then. She glanced at her brother. "I think we should get out of this storm. I'm going to go check on Haley, who actually is really close to bursting, and I'll call you later and we can set up a day to meet for dinner, okay?" she said, and they both got into their cars as the rain started coming down harder.

As she pulled up in front of Haley's house, she looked up at the storm that had come in so fast. The radio told her it was going to be dangerous to be outside, before she turned off the car and ran through the pounding rain to the front door. She didn't knock because she was already soaked when she reached the front door. "Hales, you there?" she called, hearing an answer from upstairs.

Heading up there, she was at the top of the stairs when the power went out. She let out a small yelp when she tripped on the top step, throwing out her hands to grab the banister and clutch her stomach, but she managed to catch herself and continue to the master bedroom. She opened the door and heard a shout before she assured her friend that it was just her, as she felt her way towards the pregnant woman.

When she ran into the bed, smashing her shin against the frame, she decided it was ridiculous to just keep fumbling through the dark, and she pulled out her cell phone, flipping it open for light. "Oh, wow, no bars either. I told Lucas I was coming home, but I might just be stuck here for a while. He's going to be so worried," she rambled before she held the phone out, stopping as she saw that Haley wasn't paying the slightest bit of attention to her.

With a gasp, she hurried over to the brunette, kneeling next to Haley, who was seated on the floor next to the bed, clutching her stomach. She realized that the gasp hadn't been in fear at all, but in pain. "Hales, Hales, what's wrong. Talk to me Haley," she then noticed that her knees were wet as she knelt in liquid and she groaned. "Please tell me that you peed yourself," she begged.

As Haley's pain subsided, she shot her friend a glare, which Peyton could barely make out in the glow from her phone, which had fallen to the ground next to her. "Oh, yeah, Peyton, that's exactly what it is, when I'm a week away from my due date and I've been having pains for the past, oh, I don't know, six hours," she snapped, but didn't give Peyton a chance to respond. "Why did I tell Nathan he could go to that game? What made me think that something like this wouldn't happen?" she moaned to herself.

Since the electricity was still out, Peyton knew the phone wouldn't be working either, and she wasn't sure it was a good idea to go out driving in the topless Comet when she could hear the thunder going off every couple seconds. She flopped down next to her friend, quite unsure of what to do. She couldn't deliver this baby on her own, but unless this freak storm stopped, and soon, she wasn't sure she would be able to get out of it.

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On the other side of the small town, Brooke was stuck in her hotel room, wanting to leave, but unable to in the current weather. She wished she hadn't been so stupid. She had really fallen for Julian, but, just like Lucas, all he had done was break her heart. Part of her knew that he had just been a rebound, but it still hurt that she had just caught him cheating on her. She had known that she shouldn't just come to surprise him, but it had been almost two months since she had seen him, and she couldn't take the phone only contact anymore.

Slapping herself on the forehead, she cursed Julian, and Lucas, and pretty much all men, but she knew she was just as much to blame, if not for the actual act, then for thinking that any guy could be decent and worth giving her heart to. She left the room and saw the elevator's doors closing. She didn't even check if it was going up or down; she ran to catch it, wanting to get out of the stupid town that had only caused her heartbreak.

When she got into the elevator she saw that the only other occupant was a male, and she wanted to roll her eyes. She saw that the elevator was on the was up and she actually did roll her eyes, biting her tongue because she knew that she did find him attractive and that was the most annoying part of all. She didn't want to be attracted to him, and a part of her hated herself for it. She just hoped this would be the quickest elevator ride of her life.

All her hopes died when the elevator suddenly stopped, the lights inside it going off. She banged on the doors, but they didn't open. She cursed under her breath as she pulled out her cell phone, which had also lost service. "Great, just great," she muttered, resisting the urge to throw the phone, and instead tossing into her purse, albeit a little rougher than necessary. "Until we get out of this, just don't talk to me," she demanded of the guy.

Feeling around, she sat in the corner of the elevator, resisting the urge to start crying. She knew she was in for a long night. She could only hope that the maintenance people got her out of here quickly. She was proved wrong a few minutes later when she heard voices shouting though the elevator shaft. She was really stuck, and until the power came back on, she would be stuck. She could no longer keep herself from crying, and now just tried to keep it as quiet as possible.

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Since Peyton had moved in with Lucas, Jake, Nikki and Jenny had taken to coming to stay at Peyton's house when they both had a few days off work. Jake had meant it when he said he wanted to do everything he could for Peyton during her pregnancy, and he had definitely kept the promise so far. Jenny also loved getting to see Peyton so much, and she was just as excited for this baby as she had been for the last one.

The storm started, and Jake was pacing the living room. He had talked to Lucas not long ago, and Peyton hadn't come home from work yet. He was worried she hadn't yet made it home, and he didn't want her driving in the storm. He had the news on, and the weather report said it was going to get bad. He had tried her cell, but she hadn't answered. He was getting ready to try again, when the power went out.

Cursing, he tried heading for the stairs, to check on Nikki and Jenny, who was already asleep, but he just tripped over the couch. He realized that he could use his phone for light, and noticed he now had no bars, which just made him curse again. He managed to make his way to the kitchen instead, finding a flashlight in one of the drawers. He heard footsteps and a few seconds later, Nikki entered the kitchen, holding a candle.

Stepping closer, Nikki studied his face, realizing how worried he was for Peyton. She wanted to roll her eyes, but refrained. She knew he was just protective of her because of all she had been through, but the less secure part of her wondered if he still loved her. She had her own boyfriend to look after her, the baby's father, she didn't really need Jake as much as he liked to be there. She just wondered what this meant for them, although she had been scared to say anything.

Now, though, she just couldn't hold her tongue anymore. She walked up to him, listening to his muttering and murmuring, which was mostly about the blonde who had been between them for too long. "Jake, I think we need to talk," she said, but he wasn't really listening. He was walking around the kitchen, trying to find some place with cell reception. She grabbed the phone and made him look at her. "Jake, we need to talk," she repeated.

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In an airport in Charlotte, Nathan was learning that his flight was delayed. He ran his hand through his hair, trying to figure out what he was going to do. He had a feeling that something was happening in Tree Hill. He needed to get home, but he couldn't get a flight, and the weather report said it was too dangerous to drive into the town now. He needed to get to his wife, though, there had to be some way.

Staring around the airport at all the other people who had also been trying to get to Tree Hill, he ran his hand through his hair again. He spotted someone he knew, but really wished he hadn't as the person began to walk over towards him. "Nathan Scott. Are you headed to Tree Hill like the Keller?" Chris Keller asked as he reached Nathan, who still didn't like the guy any better, even after their last encounter.

Noticing the car rental place, which was full of people, he knew he'd never get a car from there, and that didn't leave him much options. He really wanted to ignore Chris. Sure, he didn't know anyone else in the stinking airport, and no one else would probably drive him into Tree Hill, but did he really want to be stuck with Chris Keller. He needed to get to Haley, though. "Do you have a car, Chris?" he asked, grudgingly.

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When the power went out, Lucas really began to worry for Peyton. He knew she was supposed to be on her way home, but that was too long ago. She should have been here by now. He didn't know where she was, and now he couldn't even call her. The weather report had said it was a hurricane coming in, but he couldn't just sit here when she could be anywhere, could he? What if she was in trouble?

On the other hand, he had absolutely no idea where to look. She could have gotten stuck at her gallery, in which case, she would be perfectly safe. She also could have broken down, in that Comet of hers, in which case she was not safe at all. If she had broken down, though, she could be anywhere between here and the gallery, and it could take a long time to find her. He would have to search the whole town.

It was just as likely that she was perfectly safe, and if he went out there, she would get mad at him if he got injured. He wouldn't care if he got himself into trouble if he saved her from it, but she would care, if she wasn't in trouble in the first place. He just wished he knew where she was. He couldn't do nothing while she was pregnant and a hurricane was coming in.

Then he remembered that Haley was home alone, and he decided that maybe Peyton would have gone there, to check on her pregnant friend. He decided that he would just get over to Haley's house, and then maybe if Peyton was there, the three of them could be together. If not, he would have to figure out where else she could be.

Just as he grabbed his keys and was almost out the front door, he heard a crash, and he opened the door, only to see a large tree branch on the hood of his car, breaking through the windshield. He couldn't drive in that car. He probably wouldn't even be able to lift the tree branch off on his own. He only deliberated for a moment before he set off for his best friends house on foot.

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It didn't take long before Derek could no longer stand the sounds of crying coming from the corner of the elevator. He had never been able to stand by while a woman was crying nearby. He knew she had said to stay away, but maybe she needed him to reach out and help her even more. He wouldn't know unless he tried, and by the sounds of the thunder, they wouldn't be out of here any time soon anyway.

Moving closer, but not too close, because he still couldn't see, he sat down next to the elevator wall, close to the corner she had camped out in. He didn't try to touch her, because that would be too risky, but he cleared his throat. "Are you sure you don't want to talk about it? Those sound like tears that have been brought on by some jerk, and I've heard that sometimes talking to a stranger helps," he offered.

The silence-except for her crying, although he did hear a little hesitation in that-lingered, and he leaned his head back against the wall. He knew it would take a bit more probing than that. "Please, at least stop crying, even if you don't want to talk. I understand if it hurts, but I can't stand to hear a person in pain and not be able to help the. It'll be a very long night if you cry the whole time," he pleaded.

This time there was a sniffling sound, as if she were trying to stop her tears. She didn't say anything for a long time though, and he wondered if she was just going to stay silent all night, but then she spoke up. "It sounds like you're speaking from experience," she said, and he didn't respond this time. "I'll share my story, if you share yours," she finally offered.

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As time wore on, Peyton checked her phone periodically, knowing that Lucas was probably going crazy with worry for her. She was also trying to time Haley's contractions, which were starting to come at an alarming rate. She knew that some people could be in labor for days, and she only hoped that the baby would wait until after the storm, so they could get Haley to a hospital.

Besides cursing Nathan and then wishing he was there the next time a pain came on, Haley didn't say much, and Peyton let the silence linger, only saying comforting things to her friend when she was in pain, and letting Haley squeeze her hand. She wasn't used to being on this side; in her classes she had been in Haley's position. This was more Lucas's thing. "So," Haley finally said in between contractions. "Are we going to talk about why you turned down Lucas's proposal, and when you're going to say yes?" she asked.

**A/N:**_ Well, well, well. This fic decided it does have more than one chapter left in it after all. I guess we'll just have to see where this goes. I honestly did not plan this at all. I started writing a completely different chapter, and then we had a lightning storm, and I got this idea for a lightning storm in the fic. Tell me what you think, and I'll see how fast I can get another chapter written, and we'll see how many chapters this fic really has left. Thanks to those who reviewed the last chapter!_

**Disclaimer: **_I don't own anything._


	24. Ch22: The Storm Hits

A particularly bright flash of lightning, followed almost immediately by the sound of thunder, broke Peyton's gaze off of Haley's. She shuddered and looked back at her friend, who happened to be in labor. "Hales. I really don't think this is the time to be talking about that. I mean, you're about to be a mother again. Should we really be talking about Lucas and I?" she said nervously, as she got up and began pacing the room.

After a few moments, in which Haley had another contraction, forcing Peyton to get back on the floor and take her hand again, the brunette met the blonde's gaze. She wasn't letting Peyton get away with avoiding the subject this time. "Peyton, we've put this conversation off for months. I think it's about time. Besides, what I say goes. I'm the one in the middle of shoving a baby through my lady parts," she said decidedly.

Groaning, Peyton sat next to her friend, and she didn't say anything for a long time. She wasn't sure where to start, and instead of saying anything to Haley, she let herself get lost in the memory of so many months ago.

_FLASHBACK_

_Staring at Lucas, Peyton was literally at a loss for words. She wanted to say yes, wanted to say yes so bad that she was practically aching with the desire of it, could practically feel the word on her tongue, but something wasn't letting the word come out. She bit her lip as she tried to sort out her emotions._

_As Lucas watched her, he already knew what the answer was going to be, but he couldn't break the silence. He waited for her to say it. "Lucas, I love you, and I really love the fact that we're having a baby together," she said with a smile, which didn't quite reach her eyes, as if she'd moved on to other thoughts already. "I just, I don't think I'm ready for marriage just yet. I don't want to lose you, but can we wait, please?" she pleaded, still chewing on her lip._

_Taking a deep breath, Lucas just couldn't tell her know. He put got up and wrapped her in his arms, placing a kiss on her head. "Of course, Peyton. We'll wait as long as you need to. I love you and that's not going to change," he murmured to her, as she buried her face into his chest, holding on to him tightly, like she was afraid he was going to disappear._

_END FLASHBACK_

Shaking her head slightly, she felt Haley squeeze her hand again, bringing her back to the present. Things had gone back to normal between the two blondes after that, a good normal, which reminded Peyton of the perfect time before she had started having pregnancy symptoms. She knew it wouldn't last forever. She'd have to make the decision someday, but she didn't know she'd be having this conversation now. She hadn't told anyone, and she hadn't thought Lucas had told anyone about the proposal either.

Heaving a sigh, Peyton waited until Haley's pain passed. She still didn't know why she said no, really. She wanted to be Peyton Scott, more than she had ever wanted anything else, she was sure, but there was still that niggling feeling, that doubt in the back of her mind that she couldn't place. She had thought and thought, but half the time her meds left her feeling drained and numb, if not completely depressed.

Suddenly, she realized what had been eating at her for so long. She knew why she had said no, and she knew when she would be able to say yes. She wasn't sure Haley would understand, but it had never been clearer to her. "It's my meds," she said softly, but Haley cut her off before she could go on.

Squeezing her hand for an entirely different reason now, Haley's gaze turned sharp. "Peyton, when are you going to realize that none of us care that you are on medication. Lucas doesn't care. He loves you anyway. He wants to be with you anyway. It doesn't take away from what a great person you are. If you'd just realize that," she trailed off, not sure how to finish that sentence, and her anger had burned out anyway.

Hurriedly, Peyton tried to explain, wanting to get the explanation out before Haley could yell at her some more. "No, it's not that. I know that, miraculously, he loves me anyway. I just, I can't stand the idea of getting married while I'm on them. I just feel so different when I'm on them, and I feel horrible when I'm not. I want to be able to feel my wedding day, the joys, the laughter. I want to be a part of it, especially with Lucas," she paused.

Looking at her curiously, Haley broke her concentration to clutch her stomach again, and when she had refocused, Peyton went on. "I know I deserve to wait until I can be off the medication. I just don't know when that'll be. It all seems so hopeless sometimes. How am I supposed to be a good mother, when I can't feel anything? I want to get off them, for my baby, for Lucas, for me, but I don't know if I'm strong enough yet," she admitted.

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Since Jenny was in bed, Jake allowed Nikki to pull him into the living room, and sit down across the couch from him. She didn't know how she wanted to start this, wasn't sure she could, but she knew she had to. She couldn't go on silently any longer. "Look, Jake, it's amazing that you're there for Peyton all the time. That's great. I mean, it shows how caring and compassionate you are," she began.

At her pause, Jake looked like he wanted to interrupt, but she didn't allow him too, knowing that if he did, she would lose her courage. "It's just, a part of me wonders if you just care about her as a friend, or if you still love her. I know you guys have a past and a connection and everything, but lately, you seem to be paying more attention to her, than to me," she swallowed, knowing she must sound horrible, but she couldn't help it.

Looking away from him, she tried to hide behind her hair, unsure if she wanted to see his reaction, because she was scared of it. She had never felt this way before, this shy nervousness, this insecurity. She didn't like it, but she loved him, and she'd put up with it, if he truly loved her back. She just needed to know if he did or not.

There was a long silence, so long, that Nikki almost wanted to lift her head and look at him, but she didn't. She waited in agony for him to say something, anything. She was just about to look up and demand him to say something, when she felt his hand underneath her chin. He lifted it, so he could look into her eyes. She didn't know if she was going to like what he said or night. She heard nothing but the pound of rain and thunder, and the lightning and candles lit his face as he finally opened his mouth.

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In the rental car, Nathan was already wishing he'd left Keller behind, and they had only been driving for an hour. It was simply his gut feeling that kept him driving towards Tree Hill. He needed to get to his wife. He knew it. He wished he had never gone on this stupid trip. He shut the radio off, as Chris kept singing along with it. "Alright, the Keller can accept that, let's have a chat then. How's your wife?" he asked.

Debating turning the radio back on, Nathan kept his eyes on the wet road, watching the lightning wearily. "Listen, Chris, Haley is very pregnant right now, and probably alone in our house, because Jamie's at my moms, and she is probably hating me right now. Thanks for renting the car, but I don't want to talk to you," he said shortly.

With a smug smirk on his face, he held up his hands in surrender, but being Chris Keller, he couldn't keep silent. "Dude, I have to point out once again, that it's not mine," he said. Nathan rolled his eyes, but stayed silent. "So how's Goldielocks doing? No one keeps in touch with the Keller," he asked.

Making a dismissive noise in his throat, Nathan couldn't resist the bait. "Oh, it couldn't be because you nearly ruined all our lives, could it?" he snapped back, not noticing the flash of hurt in Chris's eyes before the cocky smirk was back on his face. "No, don't say anything. Just shut up and sit there, please," he said, turning on the radio, turning it up so he could pretend Chris wasn't there as he continued worrying for his wife.

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After crying for a while, while Derek somewhat awkwardly rubbed her back-although she had to give him credit; he never gave up-Brooke finally started talking, explaining the whole sordid story to him, leaving out names. He responded at the right times, and stayed silent when she needed that too. She was finally ready to put the whole mess out of her mind and just talk to him. He was kind of interesting.

Derek had to admit, this wasn't the kind of situation he had ever wanted to get into, but it wasn't so bad with her. She took a long time to warm up to him, but when she finally did, it was amazing how different she was. He got her talking about her work, and she just lit up. He couldn't understand how any guy could ever cheat on her, but, really he couldn't understand how anyone could cheat, period. He wanted to get to know her better though.

As she kept talking to him, Brooke knew something was different about this guy. She knew that whatever she had had with Julian was mostly lust. She wouldn't say she loved this guy because she didn't know him, but already it felt like it could turn into that. She was kind of scared, but he hadn't even made any type of move toward her, so she was just going to keep talking to him for tonight, since they were stuck in this elevator together, and maybe they could see where life would take them after that.

Taking a risk, when there was a lull in conversation, Derek asked her out on a date. Brooke stayed silent for a moment, wanting to say yes, but scared to. She was scared of getting hurt again, but some part of her wanted to take the risk with this guy. She nodded. "You know what, I think I do," she answered finally, smiling at him, and just when she answered someone came in through the roof of an elevator, and a rope fell down, so they could be pulled out, to safety.

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Before Jake could say anything, the front door opened, and they heard footsteps approaching the living room. Lucas came in, soaking wet and carrying a flashlight. "I need to borrow your car. I think Peyton is over at Haley's, and my car isn't drivable right now. I can't get a hold of Peyton on her phone, and I'm worried, because I don't know if she's alright, if the baby's alright. Can I please borrow your car?" he asked.

Getting to his feet and grabbing his keys, Jake's instinct was to go with Lucas to find Peyton, but then he thought about it, and he knew that Nikki wanted to talk, and that she was right. It was Lucas's job to take care of Peyton. His job was to stay here with her. He glanced at her, and then turned back to Lucas, tossing him the keys. "Make sure you guys give me a call when this storm is over. Let me know she's alright, and the baby's okay," he said, letting Lucas leave the house, before turning back to his girlfriend.

Smiling slightly, Nikki shook her head as Lucas said a thank you and ran out of the house. She was going to tell him that it was okay, he could go too and make sure the blonde was okay, but he cut her off. "You're right, I've been spending too much time with Peyton. I need to focus on my girlfriend, the love of my life, the mother of my child. I'm ready to move this to the next step, Nikki, will you marry me?" he asked, getting down on one knee, taking her hand in both of his as he looked up at her.

Looking shocked, Nikki could do nothing but stand there for a moment. "Yes, Jake, yes!" she finally shouted, bending down to give him a kiss. She pulled him to his feet as they continued kissing, and they would have kept on going, if they had not heard a sickening crash that came from outside. They froze and looked at each other before they ran for the door, looking outside to see the car Jake had just loaned Lucas, T-boned into a car that neither of them recognized.

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By the time Nathan made it into town, he was on edge, not only because he was annoyed at Chris, but also because the feeling that something was happening to Haley kept growing. He was really worried about his wife, and only hoped that she and their unborn baby was okay. It only made it worse because he could barely see the road. He was maneuvering the streets when Chris made some stupid comment, and he turned for one second to say something at the other man, and when he looked back, he was headed straight for another vehicle.

Turning the wheel, he tried to get out of the way, but due to the water on the ground, and the speed he was going, he ended up hydroplaning, and the car spun, but didn't get out of the way of the oncoming vehicle, which T-boned the rental car he was driving. He looked around as the movement stopped, thankful that he was wearing his seatbelt, and almost wishing, as horrible as that might sound, that Chris hadn't been. He wasn't able to get out on his side of the car, so he waited until Chris got out and then climbed out the passenger side door.

While he waited for the driver to get out of the other car, he fished around in his wallet for his license, and told Chris to get the papers for the rental car. He was beginning to be worried, as more time passed and no one got out of the other vehicle, but when he heard shouts, and turned to see Jake and Nikki running over, he started heading for the other car. He barely heard them shout his brothers name over the sound of the rain and the thunder, but when he reached the vehicle and saw the blond hair, he immediately opened the door, and started dragging his brothers unconscious body out of the car.

As Jake approached, he could see that Lucas had been knocked out. He had been in such a rush to get to Peyton that he hadn't even put on his seat belt, so when his car crashed into the rental car, he slammed right into the windshield. He would probably have a bump on his head, and maybe a minor concussion, but Jake didn't think he would be hurt too badly. Jake knew that they should take him to a doctor soon, though, or Peyton would get upset with all of them. He began to help Nathan get his body out of the car, but just as they started to set him on the ground, he started to wake up.

Almost as soon as they had let go of him, Lucas tried to jump to his feet. He wobbled a bit though, and had to grab his head and stand still for a moment. He looked around at the people standing around, and the cars that had crashed into each other, trying to figure out what had happened. His gaze fell on Chris Keller, and his brow wrinkled in confusion. "What are you doing here, Chris?" he asked, but then shook his head, not really caring for an answer. "I need to get to Peyton," he said, and then began to start walking, but both Jake and Nathan stopped him.

Before either of them could say anything, he held up his hands. "Come on, you know if you didn't know where Nikki was, and she was eight months pregnant, you would go looking for her," he looked at Jake, and then his brother. "You know you're heading for Haley right now. Well, I think Peyton could be at your house, so I was headed there anyway. We can walk there together, so you can watch me in case I really did do some damage to my brain," he offered, knowing that Nathan would be walking to his house anyway.

Running his hands though his hair, Jake looked at Nathan, shrugging, because he knew they weren't going to be able to talk Lucas out of this. He looked at Nikki, and knew that Lucas had a point. If Nikki was in Peyton's position, he would definitely do anything to get to her. Nathan nodded, because he knew that he was heading for his own wife, no matter what. "I think this car's still drivable, actually, so we can just take it. We've got to get your car off the road first, though," he said, gesturing to the car they had just pulled Lucas out of.

Getting into it, Jake tried to start it, but it wouldn't turn over. He had to put it in neutral, and the guys moved it to the side of the road. Nathan got behind the wheel of the rental car, completely soaked now, and Lucas got in the passenger side, cutting off Chris as he had tried to. Chris had to settle for getting in the backseat as Nathan started the car, and Jake and Nikki headed back into their house. Lucas asked why Chris was with them, but Nathan just shook his head, indicating he didn't want to talk about it. "Long story," he spoke gruffly and quickly as he drove the few blocks to his house.

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The lightning was beginning to get further away, and the rain was starting to let up, Peyton noticed, which gave her hope that they would be able to call an ambulance for Haley before the baby actually came. Her phone still didn't have service though, so she was hoping Haley could hold on a little while longer. She had barely finished that thought before Haley started screaming in pain with another contraction, and, since so little time had passed since the last one, Peyton had to do what she had been hoping she wouldn't have to do.

Grabbing the nearest candle, one of many she had lit hours ago, she helped Haley pull down her pants and open her legs. She grimaced as she leaned down to check just how close to having this baby Haley was, and she gasped and sat up quickly. "I think I saw the head. Oh, God, Haley, you're about to have a baby, and there's no one here but me, and I've never done this before. I'm pregnant myself for crying out loud. I can't do this. You have to wait. Keep that baby inside you, Hales, please," she pleaded as she got to her feet and began pacing back and forth.

Grabbing her leg as she walked by, Haley gestured for Peyton to get closer, and when Peyton leaned down, she slapped her across the face, as the blonde had been beginning to hyperventilate. "Pull yourself together Peyton. I am about to have a baby, and your freak out is not helping. Go grab a sheet from the linen closet and lay it on the couch downstairs, then help me downstairs and onto the couch. Most importantly, breathe, because I can't do this without you," she said, letting the blonde get to following her directions.

Taking deep breaths, Peyton straightened, thinking more clearly since Haley had slapped her, and she did what Haley told her to do, and soon they were on the couch in the living room, Haley wearing her nightgown, with another sheet over her legs, as she prepared to push out a baby, and Peyton prepared to catch it. She held Haley's hand as she leaned down and told her to push again. Soon enough, Haley had pushed out a little baby girl, and Peyton cut the umbilical cord and took it over to the empty sink, which she had already prepared to wash the baby off.

Not long after that, Haley was lounging on the couch, holding her baby, who was now wrapped in a pink blanket, and Peyton was sitting over her, on the arm of the couch, cooing down at the tiny girl who she had helped birth, when the front door opened, and the three guys came into the living room, dripping water. Peyton's gaze when straight to Lucas, of course, and when she noticed the blood that was on his forehead, she immediately started trying to get up, but then she noticed Nathan and Chris, and that shocked her into falling back onto the arm of the couch.

Before either woman could say anything, Nathan noticed the baby, and he stepped closer. "You had the baby. Oh, God, Hales, I'm so sorry. I should have been here. I never should have gone to Charlotte when you were so close to giving birth. Then there was this storm, and I had to drive here with Keller, and then there was Lucas and the car accident. I just wish I had been here to see it. I'm so sorry," he walked over and looked at their little girl, as Peyton tried to process what he had said. Before anyone else could say anything, though, Lucas had collapsed.

**A/N: **_It took me a long time to write this chapter. For some reason it just didn't want to come out, but I think it ended up pretty good. Tell me if you like it. This fic is coming to a close. I thank everyone for all the reviews and I appreciate them all. Let me know if you're still reading, and I will try to update more now, but I'm not making any promises._

**Disclaimer: **_I don't own anything._


	25. Ch23: Finding Comfort

Sitting in the waiting room, Peyton just couldn't stay seated any longer. She got up and started pacing back and forth. They had loaded Lucas-and Haley, because she needed to be checked out after having a baby-into the rental car, with Nathan driving, and Peyton had gotten into her Comet to follow. She just wished she had been able to convince Chris to stay at Nathan and Haley's. She was stuck in the waiting room with him now, because Nathan had gone back with Haley and their baby while they were getting checked out.

Grabbing her arm as she passed him again, Chris tried to get her to stop pacing. "Hey, Goldielocks, I know I don't know much about your situation, but that's the third time I've seen you unconsciously grab your stomach in pain, and we've only been here for thirty minutes. Do you think you might be going into labor too?" he asked, cautiously, because he knew that Peyton got edgy when stressed, and he really didn't want to get slapped by a pregnant woman.

Running her hand though her hair, Peyton shook her head. She just couldn't believe that she was going into labor. She was too early, and Lucas was in the hospital room. She was feeling light-headed, too. She needed to sit down again, but before she could sit down, she fainted, almost falling to the floor, but Chris managed to catch her before she hit the floor, calling over a nurse and getting her into a wheelchair as one was brought over.

When Peyton opened her eyes, she saw Lucas first, and she was flooded with relief first that he was okay, and then she began to worry about the baby, her hands moving to rest on her stomach. He saw the worry in her eyes and he stood, reaching out to take her hand. "It's alright, Peyton, you had Braxton Hicks, nothing to worry about. You only fainted because you haven't eaten all day, and the stress of delivering a baby and worrying about me. Our baby will be fine," he reassured her.

A tear leaked from her eye and she realized how scared waking up in the hospital had made her. She remembered the last time she had woken up in the hospital, when she had lost her baby, and she hadn't wanted to relive that experience. She knew then that she really was happy with what life had given her, and she wanted to try to get off her medications, although she wasn't going to let anyone know that. She was going to try on her own, and if she failed, she didn't have to tell anyone.

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When Peyton's due date came, she had managed to wean herself off her medications, and she was beginning to feel like her normal self again, the way she had been before any of this had happened. She knew that she wanted to be with Lucas forever, but she hadn't found the moment to tell him that she changed her answer to his proposal. She thought that maybe she could tell him once she had the baby, but the baby did not seem to want to come. She had an appointment to induce labor in a couple days if she didn't go into labor on her own by then.

Putting down her sketchbook, she looked down at her stomach, patting it. "I love you baby, but it's time for you to meet the world. I need you to get out of Mommy's stomach. You've been giving me pains all day, so I only hope it means you're actually coming today," she started speaking to her stomach as she rubbed it, but then she just fell silent, listening to the record she was playing and just thinking. She knew it had been a long hard road, but she was ready to give her all to Lucas, and she knew he was ready too. It was a long time coming.

Bringing her out of her thoughts, there was a knock on the door, and Peyton looked up in time to see her brother coming into the room. She smiled and gestured for him to come in. She had seen him quite a bit in the month since he had gotten home, and they were continuing to get closer. He was the only one she had confided in about the fact that she had stopped taking her pills. He fully supported her, and he knew that everyone else would too, though he made sure to emphasize that they all loved her no matter what.

Walking into the room, he gave her a hug before grabbing a chair and moving it next to her bedside, although he didn't sit down. "So, how's my very pregnant sister today?" he asked, but didn't really give her much of a chance to answer. "I know, you're ready to get the baby out, and stop being a fat couch potato, and all that. I actually came by because I have something to tell you, though," he said, standing next to the chair with his perfect posture.

That alone told Peyton that what he had to say was important to him. She noticed when he got nervous, or wasn't sure of what her reaction to something was going to be, he stood up straighter than normal. He was relaxed most of the time-well as relaxed as someone who had been trained to have perfect posture could be-and when he wasn't she knew something was up. "Well, since this is so important to you that you have to stand up to give me the news, I'll ignore the fact that you called me a fat couch potato," she teased, trying to loosen him up. "Seriously, you can tell me anything," she added.

Smiling a little, his posture relaxed a tiny bit. "Yeah, well you know that I only said that because you call yourself that all the time," he shot back, before getting serious again. "Well, I just wanted to let you know I've met someone. I've been seeing her for a month now and I really like her. I haven't known her long, I mean, it's only been a month, but I hope she'll be in my life for a long time, so I just wanted to tell you, since you're my sister," he said, watching her to see her reaction.

Surprised that he had been so nervous, Peyton broke into a grin. "Well, that's great, older brother. A little surprising, because I've always seen you so serious. I was beginning to wonder if you'd ever be anything more than a military man," she joked, but then spoke more seriously. "Honestly, Derek, I'm happy for you. You know you don't have to be nervous to tell me anything, but that does make me realize how much you like this woman," she broke off.

Grabbing her stomach in pain, which had been on and off all day, Peyton didn't get to say anything else. She felt a wetness between her legs this time, and she knew that this was the real time. She straightened when she could and looked at her brother, who now looked concerned for her. "My water just broke. Go get Lucas," she said, and she didn't need to say anything else before he left the room, searching for the other blond.

When Lucas and her brother came back in the room, she was up out of bed and headed for the door. She looked at Lucas with a smile. "Well, are you ready, Daddy? Let's get going," she said, gesturing to her stomach so he would jump into motion. He did, grabbing her overnight bag, which they had prepared a week ago, and lending her his arm as he helped her outside and into the car, with Derek following them outside, and then getting in his own car and following them to the hospital.

While they were getting Peyton situated in her room, Lucas called Haley and Nathan, and then Jake and Nikki. He also called his mom, who had arrived in town just days before. Larry was out to sea and wouldn't be able to get into town for at least another month, but Lucas called and talked to him, assuring him that they would call once he was a grandfather. He hesitated before making one more call. He knew that the two hadn't made up yet, but he knew that this could be the chance for them to make up.

Almost as soon as he got off the phone, the nurse came to lead him back to Peyton's room. He smiled when he opened the door and saw her there, wearing the hospital gown now, getting ready to have their baby. He walked up to the bedside, getting there just as she had another contraction. She grabbed his hand and squeezed it harder than he ever expected she could squeeze. He endured it, though, because for her he would endure anything, and he knew her pain was going to be a lot worse.

A little while later his whole family had arrived, and Lucas went out to update them, although not much had happened yet, and he noticed that the person he had called last had not arrived. He only hoped that she would show up eventually as he went back into the room. He held Peyton's hand, and let her call him names as the night continued to drag on. It was almost dawn when he went back into the waiting room again, and he noticed that Haley was asleep on Nathan's shoulder, Nikki and Jake were talking, and Karen was talking to Andy on the phone.

Everyone looked hopeful when they saw him, but he just shook his head. "Maybe you guys should go home and get some sleep. I mean, you all have kids at home, and I promise I'll call you guys when the baby arrives, but that might not be for a while, and Peyton says you guys should get some sleep," he said, but got a resounding no from everyone. Haley said she had left Lydia Peyton-LP for short-and James with Deb, and she was going to wait until her niece or nephew was born. Jake and Nikki both insisted upon staying, too, because they had left Jenny with his parents. Karen just sent him a look, that said she had left Lily with Andy and she wasn't going anywhere until she got to see her grandchild. Derek also wasn't budging.

So Lucas went back into the hospital room, and, luckily, it wasn't that much longer before Peyton gave birth to a beautiful baby girl. He was amazed and ecstatic, and exhausted from staying up all night, but he knew that whatever he was feeling, Peyton had to be feeling it to a much bigger extent. He leaned down and kissed her head as she held their daughter for the first time, before the nurse had to take the baby to be cleaned and weighed. He was just going to go and alert their family, but Peyton grabbed onto his arm and pulled him back to her.

Biting on her lip, she knew what she had to do, but she was scared he'd say no. She gathered her courage anyway, though, because she knew what she wanted now, and she was almost positive that he wanted it just as much as she did. "Lucas, I'm ready," she said. He quirked an eyebrow at her, unsure of what she was talking about, but before he could question it, she went on. "I'm ready, Lucas. I know what I want, and it's you, forever, and our family. I'm ready to be your wife," she repeated.

At the look on his face, she knew he was happy, but confused, because he didn't know what had changed between when he had first asked, and now. She laced her fingers through his and pulled him closer. "I love you, Lucas Scott, and I've weaned myself off of my medication. I feel like myself again, except even better than before, and I know that the reason I'm better is because of you. I want you and our little girl, and possibly more children in the future, but mostly I want it all, and I know that I want it all with you," she pulled him into a kiss.

Both blondes got lost in the kiss, and he had to remind himself that she had just had a baby, and they couldn't just stay on this hospital bed making out for hours, because they had family in the waiting room, family who would probably want to know about the little blonde girl that had just been born. He had to pull back, but there was something he wanted to do first. He reached into his pocket and pulled out a box, opening it as he looked at her.

Gasping, Peyton felt the tears well in her eyes, but she knew they were happy tears, and she stayed silent as she waited for him to talk. "Peyton Elizabeth Sawyer, I know we are going to be together forever, and I know we both have been through a lot to get here, you especially, but I believe everything happened the way it did so we would end up right here, in this place and time. I want you to become Peyton Scott. Will you do me the honor of becoming my wife?" he asked, looking into her green eyes.

Grinning widely, she could do nothing but nod, and she held out her left hand. He took the ring out of the box and slipped it on the third finger. He then brought the hand up to his lips and kissed it, putting the box back into his pocket. "I had a feeling you would be ready once you saw our child, the life that we created together. I knew I would be. So I brought the box, and I planned on asking you again. I'm so glad you said yes," he said, and then kissed her again, before pulling away, and going to get his family, just as the nurses came back in with their daughter.

Entering the waiting room, Lucas told everyone there was a new Scott in town, and he showed everyone back to the hospital room where Peyton was. He had hoped the last person he had called would have showed up by now, but they hadn't, so he was just glad he hadn't told Peyton he had made that call. She was holding their daughter when he came back in, and everyone rushed up to the bed, but Lucas hung back, by the door. Her eyes sought him out, anyway, as everyone cooed over their daughter.

When Nikki brought up the ring, he stepped forward, coming up to her side and taking her hand, but she was the one who spoke. "Yes, it looks like you two aren't the only ones who are going to be tying the knot soon," she confirmed for everyone, and everyone congratulated them, of course, but since no one had expected otherwise, the little pink bundle was soon the center of attention again, as Karen took her granddaughter from her soon-to-be daughter-in-law.

Once everyone had gotten to hold her, the tiny girl was in Lucas's arms, and everyone was just getting ready to leave when the door to the hospital room opened, revealing a brunette that shocked everyone into silence for a moment. Haley snapped out of it first, and said she had to get home, and then there were murmured excuses, and one last round of congratulations for the blondes before their family began to leave. Derek was the only one who stayed, and from the way Brooke and Derek stared at each other for a moment, Peyton knew that Brooke was the woman Derek had been telling her about earlier. "You're dating my brother," she couldn't help but blurt out.

Slapping a hand over her mouth, she removed it, and quickly regained control. "Luke, give me our daughter, and can you guys leave us ladies alone for a while," she said, dismissing the men. Derek and Brooke shared a last look as Lucas handed Peyton their daughter, then the two men left the room. Peyton gestured for Brooke to come closer as the door closed. "Okay, I'm going to say this first. If you're not over Lucas, don't lead my brother on. He is a good guy, and he's already falling for you, and he doesn't deserve to be hurt," she said to the brunette she had once called her best friend.

Looking hurt that Peyton had immediately jumped to the conclusion that she was doing nothing but leading Derek on, but knowing that Peyton had every reason to believe that, Brooke managed to control her tone. "I know that you are worried about your brother, but I really do like him, Peyton, and even more than that, because of him, I can honestly say that I am happy for you and Lucas. I know that we can never be the friends we used to be, but maybe this can be a new beginning for us, and maybe one day we can be even better than before," she offered.

Smiling, Peyton could tell that Brooke really was falling for her brother, too, and she was happy for the both of them. She angled her daughter so Brooke could see her. "Well, I know we can be better than we used to be, because were both older, and wiser, and we're not going after the same guy," she joked, and showing her just how far they had come, Brooke actually laughed. "Do you want to hold your goddaughter," she said, because she had always planned on Brooke being the godmother of her daughter.

For a while neither of them had thought that it would happen, but they were both glad that it finally had, and Brooke had tears in her eyes as she stepped closer and took the tiny blonde. They talked for a little while, before Peyton decided to ask Brooke a favor. "Hey, I was thinking, Lucas and I are getting married, and my fathers going to be here in a month. I don't know the next time he'll be home after that. Do you think you can help me plan a wedding in a month?" she asked, and Brooke grinned, giving Peyton all the answer she needed.

A little while later, Brooke had left, and so had Derek, who had waited for the women to finish talking so he could talk to Brooke, and Lucas was holding their daughter as he perched on the edge of Peyton's bed. She yawned again, and he knew it was time for her to get some sleep. "You look beautiful, Peyton Sawyer, soon-to-be-Scott, but you need to rest. We can look at our daughter some more tomorrow," he said, standing and going over to lay their daughter in the bassinet that was in the room.

Suppressing another yawn, Peyton agreed, but there was one thing she had to say first. "I think I know what I want to name her," she said, and he waited, curious. He was pretty sure he was going to agree with anything she said though. "Angela Penelope Scott," she said, waiting for his nod before explaining. "She really is my little angel, which is where Angela comes from, and Penelope, because I'm finally mending fences with her godmother, and Brooke deserves it," she said as he approached her again.

Climbing onto the bed with her, he held her in his arms, while she leaned her head on his chest. He kissed her temple. "I think the name is perfect. I love you, Peyton," he said, and she was barely able to say the words back before she fell asleep with her head on his chest. He just lay there for a while, holding her, and thinking how perfect their life had turned out, despite all odds, before he fell asleep too.

**A/N: **_Well, this is the last chapter, I think. This fic has run its course, and the only thing I could possibly write would be a wedding for the two blondes, but I've read about too many Leyton weddings. It's practically impossible to write an original Leyton wedding anymore. I actually think this ending is kind of perfect anyway. Let me know what you think, and if you do want me to write a wedding. If enough people want it, I may just change my mind and actually write one. If not, well, review and let me know you liked the fic. I had fun writing this, but I'm ready to possibly move on to other things. I guess we'll just have to see. Thanks to everyone who reviewed, and even to those who didn't. I appreciate every reader._

**Disclaimer: **_I don't own anything._


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